Tuff Love with Robert Kandell

This was written before we found ourselves in the physical isolation of COVID. It holds more truth than ever. I want to know all of you, all of the authentic beliefs you hold to be your truth. We may not hold the same viewpoints, but if I am going to love all of you, I need to see all of you. We can start the road of deep intimacy with a single truth.... We live in a world where isolation is the norm. We are more intimate with our screens than with our loved ones. If your secrecy is suffocating you, I recommend the following steps to start the dialogue of truth. 1. Find the truth inside of you that you want to reveal. 2. Do your inner work to get right with speaking it to another. 3. Ask an intimate friend to hold space for you while you speak it. 4. Receive feedback from them on it’s impact. 5. Pick another friend to speak this truth. Repeat cycle. These steps might seem like an impossible Herculean task to complete. However, it’s possible it's going to be a lot easier than you expect. I highly recommend you go on this journey because the deep intimacy that you crave is one truth away. . . . . #realtalk #truth #relationships #communication #authentic #liveunhidden #themodernmantor #menswork #intimacy #community #relating

I am Large, I contain Multitudes - Walt Whitman In the middle of negotiations with job #1 for a new position at a firm I’ve been at for 3.5 years, my boss says the position is no longer available and brings in the HR director to discuss the termination process. In the middle of negotiations with job #2 for a new position at a company I’ve been at 1.25 years, the CEO says that he can’t imagine paying a 5 figure salary for a C-level financial/opps resource. I end the negotia...tion with my resignation. One week, two gigs, done and gone. My feelings are hurt and my ego bruised. I sit in meditation with my teacher. The words arise from inside of me, you are no longer a match for these abusive situations. In job #3 (I am a fractional CFO that has 5 clients at a time), my CEO says that he implicitly trusts me and leaves me to run the finance department the way I see fit. In new job (#4), my CEO says that she is Really glad you are on the team. She starts offering me opportunities to use my skills to be of service. I am no longer a match for these abusive situations which means I am a match for these non-abusive situations. Nice. I realize that I have done the work to remove the distortions that have kept me kneeling at the table of men who do not see who I am waiting for them to brush crumbs in my direction. I will no longer accept anything that isn’t moving me towards my mastery. That same week on Thursday morning, I put on my headphones and adjusted the microphone for my weekly show, Tuff Love. I’ve done this routine for close to five years either ranting about a topic that touches me or inviting interesting people to share their pragmatic practices to my audience. I love the dance of the interview, paying so much attention to what is being said or not said. Endeavoring to ask the best questions to bring the brilliance out into the world. If their advice can help one person, I am gratified. However, this morning, I realized that I am complete with this. Cont. in comments

The irony of my work advocating removal of our figurative masks, at a time in world history where a current expression of love for our fellow humans is literally wearing a mask, has not escaped me. We are covering our faces with physical masks while the tension pervasive in global unrest is stripping us bare emotionally. We are confronting what isn’t working in global structures, systemic racism, and yes, especially personal relationships. . . Love is a word thrown around h...eavily, yet it means something different to everyone. Though we all have different definitions, there is something we innately understand about the power LOVE claims regularly. I’m curious, what was your first response to the quote by James Baldwin above? . . . . . #staycurious #staypresent #presence #curiousity #realtalk #relationships #adapt #coparenting #masks #unHIDDEN #theModernmantor #podcasts #podcastsofinstagram #tufflove #realtalk #covid19 #quarantine #exposed #bereal #authentic #menswork #stepup #relationshipcoach #communicationiskey #community See more

I've decided not to do Tuff Love shows the last two weeks because frankly, i don't know what to say yet. The proposed title of the show was going to be.. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT to SAY" From there, I was just going to ramble on. Instead, I've decided not to add my NOISE to the system because i don't feel qualified, educated, or aware enough to truly say something of importance. Instead, I will continue to present a men past and present, who I truly respect. .... . I promise that I will continue to do my own personal work. And when it's time, will speak my love in the Tuffest of manners. . . . . . . #authenticity #truth #realtalk #blackleadership #martinlutherkingjr #MLK #unHIDDEN #choice #menscoach #relationshipcoach #focus #clarity #empowerment #chooseyourwords #support #revolution #integrity #dothework #personaldevelopment #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #tufflove #themodernmantor See more

Now is the time for listening. I realize there is so much I don’t know about the experience of African Americans. And so I am stepping back, and opening my ears. I am listening for your experience and your stories so I can know you better. So I can learn. . . . .... . #martinlutherkingjr #leadership #understanding #listening #communication #stories #relationships #leanin #share #Ihearyou #tellmemore #educateyourself #openears #openheart #love #experience See more

No one is present all of the time. When I say we aren’t trained to be, it is not an excuse but an incentive to work harder at what I believe is one of the crucial qualities to bring to any relationship. I have 4 basic core beliefs that I consciously cultivate in every area of my life: Patience, Humor, Curiosity, and Presence. . . When I encounter challenges in my relationships, usually one or more of these has gone missing. That’s when I take a deep breath, accept my own hum...anity, and focus once again on bringing these core values into every interaction. . . What core values do you live by? . . . . #values #relationships #love #understanding #patience #presence #humor #curiousity #staycurious #believe #humanity #relationshipcoach #menswork #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #tufflove #writer #author #adviceoftheday #themodernmantor #getreal #authenticity #unHIDDENthebook #husband #father #successcoach #motivation #beyourbestself #selfawareness See more

I look at this pic from the early days of Tuff Love and think about how much my Motivation for doing the show has changed. Initially it was strategic. It was the next step in creating my ‘thought leader’ persona. You start a podcast and work your way upwards. Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved talking to people, but last year something big shifted. . . . So much of my ego has been relinquished around how I need to be perceived and what my role in this world needs to be.... Now I do Tuff Love for the joy I get in being truly present with another person and asking questions to simply learn more about them; who they are, how they are driven to serve in this world. It is a little slice of my time I carve out to listen to really interesting people. I love it. . . . #realtalk #podcast #podcastersofintstagram #Tufflove #themodernmantor #relationships #interview #menswork #listen #purpose #motivation #drive #honesty #clarity #intention #unHIDDEN #author #writer #personaldevelopment #community #nolie See more

Being at home with more time on our hands, we are able to absorb a lot of new media. Some of these pieces, such as Plandemic or 'Out of Shadows', is causing disruptions in our relationships. I've never seen so much charge between long-time friends. On today's show, I discuss how to interact inside intimate relationship where there is controversy. This is not about the content of the shows just the impact. <<>>

In the last few years, I've done close to 150 interviews after my book launch. The unfortunate thing about doing so many is that they all kind of blend together. In the moment, they are a huge range of sensations, but afterwards, they kind of lose their uniqueness. Except for one I recently did with Joseph Warren. We talked about religion. And God. And our relationship to it. For those who don't know, I call myself a retired Jew. I think after my Bar-mitzvah, I felt that i ha...d done my services and could retire my yamuka. But God/Spirit/Source/Grandmother has different plans for me. It showed me that there was still a path that we could walk together. In my very entertaining interview w/ Joseph, we discuss just that. Link to the interview in the comments below. Let me know what you think!

Excited to be nicely quoted by the amazing Lindsay Tigar, writer at Sunday Riley "‘Do I like the sex we are having?’ As Robert Kandell, gender dynamics and interpersonal relationship coach and speaker, explains, the most important part of our body to turn on to have great sex is our brain." https://edit.sundayriley.com/low-sex-drive/

I had a TOTAL blast interviewing Dominick Quartuccio and Bryan Stacy on Tuff Love today.

First in-person Tv slot!! Good Morning LaLa Land!!

On now! JOin me.