Fiesta Island World Championships

It appears that the FIWC council of legends overlooked their obligations of announcing the Official Grand Opening of the 2015 FIWC last week. Our deepest regrets. Any so called victory from last week is null and void. With today's formal and official opening melee for 2015, we want to make sure all cyclists acknowledge the SOP of the Circle of Doom. FIWC begans sharply at 6pm from the boy scout camp. You all have Garmins that display precise time since you were too cheap to ...buy a real SRM head unit to that power meter you use that has yet to see 200 watts. We do 10 counterclockwise short loops though we realize many of you may only survive a single digit number of laps. If you do get popped, please re-insert yourself like the tampon you are into the PELETON (not the break, you shmuck) near the starting location. The average speed is always between 25.5 and 28.5 mph. This is the posted speed limit at Fiesta Island. Though we may at times approach vehicles, don't be that ding dong masters guy that sprints around a car only to claim later about how his 10 second solo breakaway almost stuck. Please take no offense to Cat Juan. Relish in his permanent chubbiness and recognize that when it comes to wheel sucking and never contributing 1 second of effort on the front, Juan is the best. There is an official reward for the champion of every week that has been kindly offered by an anonymous donor. It is a fresh pint of Ballast Point beer. It must be redeemed at Ballast Point Brew Mart immediately following FIWC. Please respect all vehicles, pedestrians, yourself, and your fellow cyclists. Oh yeah, TT bikes are still gay.

It was great to see everybody come out in support of Juan Carlos Viñolo including Major Faulconer, the chief of police, and all the news stations. Hopefully it will raise support for Juan Carlos and also raise safety and awareness for all of us who ride.

It's gonna be a scorcher this Thursday.

What's wrong with this picture?

Free Beer tonight to the top 3 finishers! Here's the deal...your official judge will be riding around on his green Cannondale hardtail drinking beer while you guys race for this amazing reward. 4 beers will go to the first 3 finishers. The 4th beer going to whichever podium finisher can shotgun his first beer. Pizza Port Session IPA, tastes so good when it hits your lips!!

Tonight's Melee: Attendance Level: 9 Speed Level: 7 Danger Level:8... No winner due to vehicular interference.

Last night was fairly decent gents. It appeared as though a few people were saving themselves for San Dimas but it still seemed to have a decent average speed. Former World Champion Shaun Wallace was there but sadly he entered the melee halfway in. And we know thats a big NO-NO. And even more sadly, his ego was thoroughly ruined as I passed him in the sprint while chuckling.

Is the forecast rain for FIWC? Why must the gods urinate on our Gladiator Arena? Oh yeah, they are aiming for Juan.

Please finish the following fact: In approximately 72 hours the amount of Testosterone gathered for the premier night of FIWC 2014 will be greater than...

The opening ceremonies for 2014 FIWC will contain which of the following? : A. Cat Juan B. Cat Juan arriving in extra tight kit due to offseason eating C. Cat Juan yelling at me for this post... D. Cat Juan yelling at someone else E. Cat Juan complaining about someone(s) F. Cat Juan yelling at someone G. Cat Juan getting info a scuffle with someone(s) H. Cat Juan yelling at someone I. Cat Juan missing breakaway for millionth time J. Cat Juan yelling at someone K. Cat Juan angered by group not chasing for him L. Cat Juan yelling at someone M. Cat Juan praying for breakaway to fall apart N. Cat Juan yelling at someone O. Cat Juan flatulating P. Cat Juan yelling at someone Q. Cat Juan sprinting R. Cat Juan yelling at someone S. Cat Juan making excuses T. Cat Juan yelling at someone U. Cat Juan posting on FIWC Facebook V. Cat Juan yelling at someone W. Cat Juan vows to win next week Y. Cat Juan yelling at someone X. Cat Juan yells at himself Z. All of the above

Remind us once again when opening night is.

Shit got real at FIWC tonight with hovering Go-Pro. It was a good one tonight! I truly enjoyed that fred who sprinted past the Jelly Belly guy at the end screaming "I'm beating a professional cyclist!"