Dr. Alexandra Laifer, Clinical Psychologist

I attended a webinar course today on how to address the unique psychological distress that is coming out of the coronavirus crisis. I learned a lot of things today but something that really stuck with me was the following: In this moment of uncertainty, where illness and death loom in a largely invisible yet potent, inescapable way, think about who matters most to you in your life and how much you value them. Tell them you love them, make sure they know how you feel about th...em, and how much they mean to you. Do not let anything of importance go unsaid. All we have is now and no one knows how long that will be. Stay safe and healthy and well, everyone. And if you are experiencing anxiety, depression, feelings of overwhelm, or any other kind of distress, please know you are not alone. Seek out help and support from loved ones or a professional. Everyone is just a click away from being face to face with you. There is no need to suffer alone.

First and foremost, I want to wish everyone good health and as much comfort as possible during this difficult, surreal time in our world. It is not easy to get up each day and face the level of deep uncertainty that is plaguing us right now as we grapple with the far-reaching impacts of the novel coronavirus on our society and our way of life. In what has seemed like the blink of an eye, everyone and everything feels different, and often unstable, as we chart these unpreceden...Continue reading

Most of my patients have heard me talk about and promote mindfulness practice in my sessions with them. Today I had the good fortune to attend a half-day mindfulness retreat at the UCSD Center for Mindfulness. I got to practice mindfulness for three hours and it was wonderful! We did sitting meditations, yoga poses, body scan, walking meditation, qi gong, and lovingkindness meditation. I feel very grateful to have had this opportunity and I look forward to sitting with my patients this week as we cultivate present-moment awareness together.

We tend to be very averse to crying despite the fact that it is a very normal and natural way to express emotions. When we suppress tears, we are missing out on the opportunity for healthy emotional release as well as the communication of needs. I came across this graphic the other day and found it to be a helpful guide for how to approach a loved one, either adult or child, when they might be needing more than to simply be told to stop.

Today, June 27, is PTSD awareness day and I just want to take some time to honor all of the people who struggle with this disorder on a daily basis. It can be debilitating but recovery is possible with proper treatment and connection to supportive people.

Some #selfcompassion #lovingkindness practice I've been doing with my patients today, nice sentiments to pass along: Sitting quietly, taking a few breaths, putting your hand on your heart to feel the warmth, repeat the following phrases to yourself... May I be safe... May I be peaceful May I be kind to myself May I accept myself as I am OR accept my life as it is After a few minutes, bask in the #compassion you are offering to yourself, or if there is none arising for you, savor that truth and the goodwill and intention you have made in trying to care for yourself. (taken from Kristin Neff)

Today is the 75th anniversary of the D-Day invasion and I’m remembering my trip last year to Omaha Beach in Normandy, France. It was a somber experience to traverse the sand and imagine what took place there. What a momentous day in history and a wonderful opportunity to pause and honor those who made it possible.

I have had the privilege of working with active duty service members, Veterans, and their families for nearly my entire career. Today we remember those who have sacrificed their lives in service to this nation; it is somber and bittersweet. I feel greatly honored to hear your stories as I proudly care for those who mourn you.

Back in the office with a new mindset and perspective...being a new parent is a unique shift in life and identity. As always, mindfulness practice is a wonderful tool to employ through this amazing, albeit challenging, transition. Here are some strategies to build upon what you may already be doing. (via Medium) #mindfulness #postpartum #newparents

Dr. Laifer will be out on leave until March 2019. Wishing everyone a peaceful few months! See you when I return.

I was very honored to present on mindfulness in the treatment of trauma at the Fall Conference of the San Diego Psychological Association this past weekend. I had so much to say, I ran out of time!

One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is self-compassion. What does that mean, you ask? It means being aware of moments of pain and suffering, understanding that all humans experience moments of suffering and that you are not alone, and that in these moments, it is possible and helpful to treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer someone you love. We often suffer tremendously at the hands of our inner critic. If we can cultivate the ability to bring compassion to our own suffering and override the critic, it can yield amazing dividends in terms of well-being. I invite you to check out the work of Kristin Neff, Ph.D. and all the resources available on her website: www.self-compassion.org

I work with a lot of parents who struggle with how to best manage the excessive smartphone and social media use of their teenaged children. But the data are clear: the widespread use of smartphones among adolescents is unequivocally linked to increased rates of sleep deprivation, depression, and anxiety as well as various impediments to social development that are likely to characterize this generation. While it can be extremely challenging to set boundaries with teenagers, it is a worthwhile endeavor to ensure that they are achieving optimal health and wellbeing; limiting screen time to two hours of use per day seems to be significant. And a little-known but interesting tidbit is that Steve Jobs did not allow his children to use iPhones and iPads, so perhaps that can serve as motivation for you too.