Humberto Garcia, Jr., MA, Associate Marriage and Family Therapist

It’s spring time and as the weather warms up, many of us are opening our windows to let in the fresh air and starting our spring cleaning. It’s a great time of year to get rid of things we don’t need. Spring is also a good time to think about the mental clutter like stress, anxiety, racing thoughts or negativity we might be holding on to. Here are three things you can do to start letting go of this mental clutter just as easily as those old sweaters you donated to the thr...ift store: Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help quiet your thoughts, relieve anxiety, and relax muscle tension. When you are stressed, it can be hard to focus on the present moment and if you have racing thoughts, the idea of meditation might sound impossible. Don’t worry, just 5 minutes of quiet to focus on your breathing can prepare you to face the day or help you to have more restful sleep. The Mayo Clinic has a great guide on mindfulness, and you might also find phone apps that can help you get started. Move Your Body: You don’t need to be a fitness fanatic to enjoy the physical and mental benefits of movement. Moving your body is a wonderful way to release stress, boost your mood, and improve health. Fitting a new workout routine into your busy schedule might feel impossible; but the good news is you can benefit from short bursts of activity and find ways to sneak more movement into your daily life. Find Gratitude: So many of our thoughts can be focused on the negative which can affect the way we feel. Did you know with practice you can learn to change how you are thinking and feeling? Studies have shown being grateful can help increase positive thoughts and attitudes helping us actually feel happier and enjoy better relationships. There are many simple ways to find gratitude, even for the things you may not think are great. You will find with regular movement, mindful breathing and a regular gratitude practice your well-being will increase and you will reduce your anxiety, negative thinking and stress. Get started and clear out that mental clutter! (https://www.touchstonemh.org/spring-cleaning-mind/)

If you know better- do better. Till then- do the best you can. Anxiety over if you are doing it right or over stepping in the wrong place, prevents action. Y...ou become paralyzed by the thought of your action being wrong- and then- no action ever takes place. Move. Do. Be Better. Change systems. Interrupt oppression. PAX can help. #anxiety #depression #stress #trauma #therapy #therapists #relationships #mentalhealth #abuse #ptsd #childhoodtrauma #healing #paxcanhelp See more

People that have strong avoidant attachment tendencies often learned that many of their needs would not be tended to. They often learned ways to auto-regulate ...their own feelings. Deep down, they want close connection just like you do, but they may feel incredibly exposed when you get too close. They rarely had anyone engage them, or perhaps they were engaged, but in ways that were invasive, so they may have had to eventually learn to shut down. If your loved one shuts down quickly during fights or when feelings become intense, this might be why. They can also have a hard time going from solo time to connection time. When they are spending a lot of energy regulating themselves, it can feel highly threatening when someone tries to interfere with wanting connection. In order for your loved one to feel safer to lean into connection with you, they will need you to understand this internal struggle that they experience. After spending time apart, try giving them some alone time to transition before requesting connection. Ask for a hug and then let them unwind a bit so they can be more present with you. Spend time in activities where the focus isn’t just on you two. For example, going to a concert, taking a class together, are all things that can help bring their guard down. It can help them get in touch with their feelings of connection towards you. Your loved one is likely desperately wanting to connect with you deep down, but they often have to sit through some awful thoughts and feelings first in order to get there. Those thoughts and feelings usually have nothing to do with you, but they are triggered by you. Closeness with you can activate painful memories of being left alone or invaded upon. There is something magical that happens when we begin to understand our loved ones. It doesn’t mean we won’t get hurt by disconnecting behaviors. However, we can learn to ask for connection in ways that also honors their pain. We can learn to tolerate doing some things that might feel counterintuitive, so that both people can win. ~Silvy Khoucasian If this resonates, what else is helpful for you when being approached?

What did you dream of when you were a kid? Did you dream of helping people? Healing people? Entertaining? Story telling? The goal of this journal entry questi...on is to get at what is your natural inclination towards what you want to do- Then try to categorize it into the underlying reasons why you were interested in it. #trauma #findingyourself #anxiety #depression #stress #therapy #therapists #relationships #mentalhealth #abuse #ptsd #childhoodtrauma #healing #paxcanhelp

It’s Friday. Take a deep breath & relax. #TGIF #SelfCare #JustBreathe