What's CARL Thinking?

" Thought Sunday was supposed to be a day of rest? That doesn't happen when you have to allow The Beluga to share your residence. His Chubness took that big shiny horn to church this morning to make horrid sounds go through it, then came home and found me in his office examining the water bath the moving rock lives in. I was just chilling out and trying to rest, but The Sausage King had to snap another picture of me. Then this evening I was checking out another moving rock that doesn't move at all and El Large-O clicks another picture of me and laughs at how I don't know the difference between a live turd-L and a sir-ram-ick turd-L. Well, I've got news for The Walking Shamu, a trip and a fall is in order, and soon!"

"Well isn't this special? The Ooom-pah Boy had music to play tonight at church with his big shiny horn. When he waddled into the house afterward he told me that one of the singing ladies mentioned me and said, "I was loaded with personality". Now, that comes as no surprise to me because I know what a royal and regal kitty I am. But, according to the Hindenburg that same singing lady also said, "Carl has a lot of personality just like his owner." Now seriously, the Orb has the personality of the Blob along with the physique. Give me a break! Oh, and while I'm lounging near the patio door His Roundness has to come and snap away with that phone/ camera thingy of his. Just can't let me rest the way I'm supposed to."

" Man alive, it doesn't get any better than this. Quality time on my Mommy's lap getting my neck, head, and ears scratched. Such a vast difference from going into Lardo's Lair where I get shoved off the computer keyboard, spoken to like I'm an idiot, and generally being mistreated or ignored. Mommy welcomes me and goes about spoiling me like I expect, and should be. The Walrus doesn't show me that kind of attention and tells me to, "Get out of the way or I may break your leg again." Got news for you, ya Big Hippo, I'm not one you want to threaten. I've got some choice spots mapped out on your Vastness that I'll lay my claws into when the time is right!"

"What a day! Again with the non-stop nonsense exuding from the Large One. I've been closed up in the Beluga's office and having to nap on top of the terrarium. At least that way I can avoid his size 15's and possibly another busted leg. So, what does Flabby do, starts telling me a story. You can see from the photographs how it managed to evolve. First, a look of surprise from being awakened. Second, a deep yawn knowing where this might be headed, and then third, a complete look of bewilderment because I can't believe what I'd just heard. It amazes me that this Beached Whale hasn't been thrown in the pokey! Of course they'd have to use two cells to house the Load."

" Supposed to be a relaxing Sunday and a break from my royal duties I've had to do all week long. But no, the Ambulating Barge tears into cleaning the garage along with my sweet mommy, finds a toy that's supposed to entertain me, and sends mommy in to tease me with it. Well, I was able to snag it from her and had my way with it for as long as my attention span would allow, maybe two minutes, and now it's nap time, again. Of course the Plump-O came in and immediately let the flea bag hounds in the house thinking they needed some time on their pads. Sleep time will come in fits and starts because I have to keep an eye on my food dishes to prevent canines from gobbling up my chow. Chunk-Zilla can't be bothered to serve my food on fine China or to put it up high enough to prevent the lowly mutts from eating it."