Tim Smyth, PsyD, MFT

It should be pretty apparent by now that suicide is a big problem and its getting bigger by the month. We know that there is a contagion that can occur in a school or amongst children's affiliate (friends/acquaintances) or consanguinal (family) groups. It also occurs in adults who struggle with depression or other related disorders. It also happens when people struggle with dreadful degenerative diagnoses/conditions. Look at Robin Williams, whose Parkinsons diagnosis probably... played a strong role in his suicide. What I need to address is the fact that it can come suddenly or predictably; but in any case there are at least two prominent factors. The first is the presence of a background of depression and loss or frustrations which can form the underlayment of a progressive deterioration of the bond to life. It can remain largely unseen due to masking and adaptations by the sufferer to the point that close associates or family may either say "wow, i had no clue", or "yes, I saw hints of that here and there". In any case, the incidents where a person kills oneself "out of nowhere", or after a period of outward stability tends to surprise and stagger others. We have known that suicides can have a tendency to become more at peace and even outwardly happy before suicide. That has much to do with their resignation to their end and see it as a release. This is often accompanied by the suicide giving away possessions or making grand contributions to charitable causes. In any case, I want to address the elephant in the room, that deep cause of suicide. I want to thank the writers of "Dexter" for providing a suitable metaphor for the problem. In so many people, suffering, and even a drive to death involves the activity or influence of a "Dark Passenger". In this scenario, the suicide has to deal with an "alternate" lifeform in themselves. In this case I would reframe this as a "deathform", an anti-life persona which can take residence in a person. See more

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Im going to have to go out on a limb here and to heck with politically correct; that "public safety" employee who had to go out of his way (not just one "button") to send a ballistic missile alert to millions of Hawaiians has undoubtedly created a whopping case of mass PTSD. Who's going to pay for the therapy that millions might now need? I grew up in a time when the threat of nuclear annihilation was pervasive; remember the drills? BUT we didnt get a "real" alert. We became... a bit desensitized by the air raid sirens that they tested each month. It gets really scary when you imagine that a number of those who heard the alert might have decided to shoot their neighbor or wife to finish a vendetta; how many murder-suicides were on the way before the alert was cancelled? If you talk to enough people you will realize that there are a bunch who would rather commit suicide than burn in a fireball. That employee is too careless (or malicious) for words and should be reassigned to the unemployment line. He has given millions of people a "Remember when..." story, but not the good kind. The absence of riots and obvious murder seems to indicate that we arent without some grace and hope. I just sense that the veneer of civility is rather thin lately. See more

Yet another gem of wisdom from Carolyn Hax in regard to parenting issues. I do a lot of work with parents and children; much of which amounts to helping the parents navigate challenges with guiding and correcting children. A snippet from one of her responses resonates with my overall beliefs and is as follows: "The high road in a two-parent home is a consistent and cooperative effort to raise functional kids, reflecting a balance of their parents’ priorities and therefore p...robably not exactly reflecting what either one of the parents might prefer in its purest state." Here, Carolyn addresses a parent who has problems with differing rules and expectations between parents and reflects a need for both to try to stay as close to being on the same page as possible when dealing with children who split the parents and end up choosing the rules which are most lenient or amenable to their wishes. See more

I was reading a Carolyn Hax column and came across yet another gem of wisdom. In addressing a newlywed who's husband has become suddenly and powerfully controlling, Carolyn had the usual warnings and the accompanying recommendation for therapy. When she said "Please do talk to a pro as soon as possible; change is inevitable, but with controlling tendencies, the changes you get in the absence of therapeutic intervention are rarely good ones." Boy, that hit the nail on the head... and I want to add "sooner the better". In cases like this and others, it can be a disservice to yourself and your future to postpone seeking some objective assistance. Dont wait until its too late! Over time, Ive developed the belief that if a wife has to use the "D" word to get the husband/partner into therapy, its probably too late as so much damage can be done that the resentments and disillusionment have snowballed to untreatable levels. Most people have a threshold or liimit that they set beyond which they give up or disassemble the relationship. In too many cases, and those which end badly, one of the partners discovers in therapy that they passed that limit a while back and are actually "going through the motions" on their way to divorce court. See more

Ive been getting more and more referrals for folks with anxiety and panic disorder. Ive found that the use of biofeedback, imagery, and training in thought-shifting, grounding, and mindfulness has been of phenomenal benefit. Im seeing clients shift from several 911 calls/week to 0/week within 3 weeks. It works so well, it seems like voodoo!!

Hi All: I'm now here on Facebook. Feel free to poke or query. Don't forget to look at smythcounseling.com for more information about what I do. Thanks,