Steven Monroe, LMFT #92746, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I did a podcast. Dad Survival Guide. A therapist’s/dad’s perspective on managing challenges with kids during the shutdown. Thanks for listening!!! I am always grateful for your support!

Many thanks to all those who have viewed, liked, commented and shared. The I in illness stands for isolation, and these times, in particular, invite pain and fear when it comes to mental health. Accordingly, I am offering flexible fees for teletherapy for those experiencing financial hardship and reduced fees for our first responders. Thank you and stay safe. See you on the other side.

Please like and share, if you are willing! Also, visit my webpage, stevenmonroe.net, where I detail info on services, discounts, and teletherapy during Covid-19. Thanks so much! I always appreciate your support. -Steve

In these uncertain times, I am offering more flexible rates for those experiencing financial hardship, and reduced rates to our first responders. It should be noted that many insurance providers are covering teletherapy and video conferencing. I would suggest contacting your insurance provider to assess eligibility for an out of network provider if you’d like to speak with me. Feel free to visit my page at stevenmonroe.net and contact me at [email protected]

What you think of you, what you say to you determines what you will get. Whatever you will tolerate is what you are going to get. If you tolerate a bunch a crap, THAT is what you will get. If you tolerate only love, and respect, THAT is what you will get. Pride and the confirmation bias are powerful forces that, when combined, make us seek out what we think we deserve. Our EGO often seeks something different than love and respect, it seeks to be RIGHT. If your ego sits on a c...ommittee in your mind along with jealousy, abuse, limitation, mockery, defeat, . . . EVICT the committee. Install a new committee. Start with, I love and approve of myself now, I lovingly forgive and release all of the past now, I was made for GREATNESS now. Say these things to yourself again and again and again. Imbue then with passion. When you doubt it, and there will be times when you do, imbue them with still MORE PASSION. There’s only one time when you need to say these things. ALWAYS. When you treat you with love and respect, people will show up to PROVE YOU RIGHT. Suddenly you will show up for everything and everyone in your life, giving from OVERFLOW, rather than deficit. The naysayers don’t matter anymore, and they will fall away, or you will eliminate them from your life. We teach people how we want to be treated. It starts with YOU, and YOU were made for GREATNESS NOW!!! See more

For my birthday this year I am asking my dear friends to consider clicking on the google link below for my marriage and family therapy practice and clicking 5 stars. You don’t even need to write anything. Just 2 clicks. I am truly grateful for those who have already left 5 stars. I am humbled and honored to be trusted with people’s pain. It is awesome to witness people’s courage to make the changes necessary to grow, to arrest multigenerational patterns and emerge from the darkness of mental illness. I consider myself blessed to do the work I do. Im asking for you to help me help others. Thank you, kindly. Blessings, Steve

https://www.facebook.com/Kids2012World/videos/1435184879865043/

We are drawn to what is family/FAMILiar.

The Safe People Pyramid is a gem from the book How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. It is a metaphor for the people in our lives: the bottom of the Pyramid, the biggest part, is reserved for acquaintances and people who, by virtue of family (or other reasons) must be in our lives. These are not entirely safe people, who don’t, or haven’t yet exhibited a track record of supporting us in growing. Over time, and exhibiting a track record of trust, holding our confidences,... toleration of differences without using them as a reason for division, people who support us in our efforts at growth, can advance up the Pyramid, towards the top. The top is reserved for a very few. Those few people who validate our efforts at growth, who lift us up when we are down, who forgive us when we make mistakes, and in fact see ruptures in relationships as opportunities to effect still stronger repairs: like a broken bone, when properly set in a cast, becomes stronger than before it was broken. When people violate our trust, or exploit our vulnerabilities, they are demoted down the Pyramid, or expelled. Too often, out of loneliness, or brokenness, people are either prematurely promoted up the Pyramid, out of a desperate desire for intimacy, or are forfeited an opportunity for promotion, out of fear. This metaphor has proven to be a powerful tool for how we view the people in our lives, for assessing their presence or absence in our lives, as we strive to be seen, known, loved. See more

The i,s,m in alcoholism stands for I, self, me. The child of alcoholic parents suffers. The message they internalize is I don’t matter. The take away, by default, is my parents’ love of alcohol is greater than their love for me. A child is robbed of the opportunity to be a kid, to play, to learn, to grow, to fall down, to fail, and to trust that their parents are there to lift them back up. It’s backwards. Instead, with a dad or mom, who is drunk, the child’s foc...us is on competing for love. A child’s power is stolen. The parents have stolen it. The child’s focus is on mitigating the effects of mom and dad’s addiction, rather than on learning and growing, on failing, and succeeding. For a child to thrive, the parental unit needs to be united. On an unconscious level, a child knows, deep down, their longevity, their survival is threatened, because mom and or dad spent more time kissing the bottle of whisky, and as a result, lost their job, than learning that I got an A on my essay, that I threw the winning pass, or that the other kid (whose parents are also alcoholic) is beating me up at recess. Mistrust sets in. Anxiety is bourne. The child’s internal objects of mom and dad are at war. The child is then at war with themselves. The I in illness stands for isolation. We are relational beings. If a child sees mom and dad have a more important relationship with alcohol rather than their spouse or the child, the child learns to mistrust people, and most tragically, to mistrust themselves. When a parent turns to their spouse and to a fellowship of safe people, to RELATIONAL sources of comfort, the battle within the child begins to ease, and the child’s internal objects of mom and dad are no longer at war, but becoming an indivisible force united to help a child thrive and soar. A child begins the process of healing too, that their parents are there when they fall down, and that, most importantly, they, themselves, can fail, and have the resources within themselves to rise again. See more

A fundamental need for children to advance through developmental stages, to ultimately thrive and soar is Safety. Physiological needs - food, water, shelter, etc. are the foundation. Next is safety. Too often our homes are a battleground, of triangulation, abuse, permissiveness. Disengaged, permissive parents leave a child doubting their safety. How far can I go, how much can I do before Mom or Dad step in and say ‘no?’ Conversely, too restrictive, punitive parenting comm...unicates doubt to a child. In an increasingly chaotic world, we need to be a safe harbor for our children, such that ultimately when a child leaves home, for the day, or to go out into the world, they have a safe harbor within themselves, to triumph, and most importantly, to know that when they fall and fail, that fall or failure does not define them, but that they have the resources within themselves to stand back up, and ultimately to soar. See more