One Moms Battle

I have reached out to my sons Guardian ad item several times in the past 2 months. My atty reached out to him last week. I have never met or spoken to him GAL. Court is one week from today at 830 am May 26 2021. I had wanted my aons counselor to speak to GAL but as of now she has no openings. My son ia 12. We have had 3 other GALs over the last 12 years of this.

How do I get to radical acceptance? How do I stop getting triggered, angry, bitter when he acts like an arrogant ass because this far he has gotten away with everything like getting a slap on the wrist for his criminal charges or demanding increased parenting time despite not following recommendations/ court orders. I’m so tired of watching him get away with everything.

I wonder if anyone else has ever experience this, while I’m in the Custody battle with my Nex who is verbal abusive towards me I feel like he feels like he is entitled or Lience’s by the family court to attack me or make me feel like I do not have any rights or say anything about our child I have ask for simple things like physical exam for our child he took him to dr since he is under his insurance and Daycare needs he refused to give it to me and told me to ask someone else... or my friends to read a text he sent it to me. I feel like he is doing that because first of all Im not an American citizen so he is undermining me in other words he is being racist/ xenophobia and it has been so hard for me to even communicate with him about our child because it would be an attack. I’m asking this because I don’t know if anyone else has Eve went through this I’m emotionally exhausted I get panic attacks I’m sick and tired of being treated this way. See more

My divorce was filed last week. My stbx just changed jobs and now has a rotating schedule with 12 hour shifts. I’m trying to make the co-parenting schedule. I used to adjust the kid’s homeschooling schedule to accommodate his schedule, but that seems impossible now. I’m not sure where to start with making the new schedule. A big problem for me is that he distracts the boys when they are supposed to be doing their homeschool work while I’m at work. He’ll be off for 3 days during the week and I won’t be home to keep the boys on track.

From a reader: I am not sure where to get help, the court ordered against me in our final decree and stated I was the one who was abusing, I feel so defeated. I reported the HRO and DANCO violations, the police laughed at me, the courts said I was lying to get custody. I just don't know what to do anymore or if I have any other options. Can you maybe point me in the direction of where to go?

From a reader: My ex and I had a custody case a few years ago along with an evaluation that was ordered. When the evaluator wanted my ex to undergo a psych eval, he did not go along with it and basically let me have what I was asking for- full physical custody and supervised visitation. He missed most visitations in the past 2 years and has not seen our child in a year. The irony is that I constantly remind our child to FaceTime him if he/she wants to and encourage some type ...of relationship. He acts more like a friend or Disneyland Dad. I even tried to arrange meetings with my ex and our child several times during the pandemic to which my ex would reject last-minute while acting like a victim who is unable to see his child. I have documented everything My ex now has a long-term girlfriend he has lived with for years but here’s the caveat: he is obsessed me and not our child. He wants to call me and not our child. He is so afraid of me getting to someone else and always begs to get back with me without bringing up our child. He wants us to be a family but first, wants me to be a side chick as he lives with someone else and raises her children. I have not seriously dated any man I can settle down with due to fear of my ex, who has a history of domestic violence. I do not want to be afraid anymore but I also incredibly aware that if I find someone I love and marry that person (I was also in a loving relationship not too long ago but I had to keep it a secret, especially from my ex) , my ex will be extremely angry and even file a new custody case as a means of revenge. I am 100% certain this will happen. Our child is nearly a preteen and my ex couldn’t care less about his health or his grades. What should I do? Any advice as to what to do should he file?

Let’s scrub it all down Why does the narcissist want 50-50 custody? #Narcissist #NarcissisticAbuse #Divorce #FamilyCourt #OneMomsBattle

Group input needed: During my ex's visitation he got his own pediatrician without telling me and changed our baby's last name and address to his on her medical forms. (She has my last name on her birth certificate and she lives with me.) I worry that he is up to something and obviously it is not okay for him to take her to doctors and not include me. I go before the judge on Monday. How do I present this concern to the court? Thank you.

Group input needed: I have court next week. It is early in my battle, my baby is so young, and I will be pro se. How do I properly present everything to make my points clear and not explain too much as I know judges don’t have much time? There’s so much that has happened and I don’t want to miss any essential points. Thank you.

Anyone in South Carolina?

From a reader: How do I request my nex to pay for the GAL since they are the one sending more emails, texts, etc? Or is it even worth bringing up in court?

From a reader: Does anyone have a recommendation for a good psychiatrist who can do a psych eval, that understands narcissism? NEx is a drug addict, bipolar, narcissistic, and abused me horrifically. I need to find someone that is understanding of the risks of that combination. Location isn’t an issue. Thank you.

From a reader: Looking for group input from people who have nex's in different states and kids not in school yet. What is your custody arrangement? I currently have 80/20 and a 2.5 yr old who could be starting preschool in 2021 but doesn't have to until 2022. Our current temp order is 80/20 "until he starts preschool.) and then we move back to just weekends again, longer stretches in the summer. However, I'm concerned that if I wait to put him in preschool, nex will ask for 5...0/50 until he begins. Pediatrician recommended that father's custody time be "broken up into smaller chunks' each month because 6 day stretches are too long, but judge ordered it to be during all one week each month anyway. So I imagine the judge wouldnt bat an eye to sending my son to another state for 2 weeks every month. My elderly parents watch him currently (and would continue to on the days he doesn't have preschool) so they are understandably nervous because of covid. What would you do? Put him in preschool early 2021? Hold off, and hope judge doesn't move to 50/50? See more

From a reader: My EXN picked my 12 year old son from school in January & he has not been home since. I was in between attorneys at the time & I feel like he did that because he knew I didn’t have counsel. The very next week I hired a new attorney (my old attorney fired me after 10 years & $77k invested) because he didn’t want to deal with my ex any longer.... Anyway..we got a court date that got continued & then COVID happened & we were not able to go to court until June. I was able to see my son at school from January-March but he never wanted to leave with me because he’s so terrified of his dad. My son told the judge in June that he did not want to live with me that he wanted to live only with his dad. We were ordered to go to counseling for reunification & of course my ex has done everything in his power to get in the way. The reunification has been going great but all of the sudden my son told the counselor he doesn’t want to meet with me anymore I know that the closer I get to getting my son home, his dad is working that much harder to keep him from me. My son is not the same child, his dad has literally sucked the life right out of him. He’s terrified of his dad & I’m so worried about him. I might add we also have an 11 year old son that has no problem going back & forth between us. This year alone I’ve spent over $12k going to court & counseling & I feel defeated. I’m not ready to walk away yet. His dad is manipulating & alienating him. How in the world do u get the judge to see this??

From a reader: Is there anything I should ask for concerning the permanent protective order? I want to make sure I have everything covered. ... There was physical, mental, and emotional abuse. DHS barred my kids and I from the residence. We are living in a shelter. He has visitation every weekend, but my 6 yr daughter doesn’t not want to go. But the GAL is not listening to her when she says she doesn’t think she’s safe when she’s with him. She’s in therapy.

Anyone in Little Rock that needs to be tagged?

The Court Said is one of our partners for Family Court Awareness Month. #forlittlekeira Keira was failed by the family court system in Canada ... https://thecourtsaid.org/2020/11/03/family-court/