Madame Tezra's Tea Room

Here is a little story I wrote that I thought you might enjoy. I am a cat. I am a spayed female gray and white tabby named Dolphina. My handler and human Tina G...onzales gave me that name, she says, because of the sounds I make. My human is a DEA agent. We live in south Sacramento, California. I became a dope sniffing cat because one time when some black teenagers were walking along the sidewalk, I went up to them and started making funny noises and standing on my hind paws, sniffing at their jeans pockets. Tina had them empty their pockets, which were full of little baggies of crystal meth. The teens were arrested, and that is how my career began. I realize that usually dogs do this work, but I have an advantage over them. I am smaller than they are so I can get into spaces that they cannot get into. My human Tina and I work out of the airport in West Sacramento. The other day I was sniffing around some cargo and baggage that had been offloaded from an airplane from Los Angeles when I smelled something wrong. It wasn't drugs, but there was still something very wrong about what I smelled. I went up to Tina several times, who was talking with an ATF agent, and chirped, rising up on my hind feet, and leaning against her right leg. "Whatcha got, girl?" She scratched me behind the ears, and followed me over to the plastic crate, where I had smelled that wrong thing. "This is a different sound than she makes when she smells drugs," she explained to the ATF agent. I chirped again. Tina had already shown her badge, so she had one of the baggage handlers open up the crate. "Hey, Jack, come here! You'd be interested in this! There is all kinds of bomb makings in here. Good girl, Dolphina! You're getting salmon tonight." And true to her word, after we got off work, we went to the neighborhood Safeway, where she went to the meat and seafood section, and she bought me a pound of fresh Alaskan salmon. I feasted for a week on that salmon. Dogs get steak; cats get salmon. I overheard her talking to Jack the ATF agent later. The guys shipping that crate got life in a federal prison for terrorism. Very pleased with myself, I gave myself a good tongue bath. Our supervisor, and Jack's supervisor were very impressed. Our supervisor, Special Agent Nielsen, had had doubts about me before then, but this find obviated all of his doubts. Because nobody's suspects a dope sniffing cat, I'm less slightly to get shot at. Oh, don't get me wrong, I have my own badge, a special harness and everything, but humans tend to overlook what they don't expect. There is a real bond between Tina and me; it's like we can read each other's mind. After the explosives incident, special agent Nielsen sent us down to San Diego on a field trip to sniff out some crates coming from South America. I sniffed out the expected heroin and cocaine, that there was that other smell again, the scent of what humans call C4 and cordite. This time Jack bought me salmon. I feasted that night, and gave myself another triumphant tongue bath. I was a so-called rescue animal, one might say. Tina was walking past the house where I was staying with 3 Latino men. They didn't seem at all interested in me and readily surrendered me to her when she expressed an interest. I came right to her and sniffed her. She picked me up in her arms and scratched me in that sweet spot between the ears. I purred all the way home. She had a litter box all ready for me, and showed it to me when we got in the door. I went to it straight away and did my business. Then she fed me. A few days later, she took me to the SPCA, where I went to sleep, and a few hours later woke up with this strange feeling that something was missing. But when I realized that I wouldn't have to worry about toms coming to my door caterwauling, or family responsibilities, I soon didn't care about what had been taken. We had lots of fun there at her house. She started to teach me all kinds of games, and got very excited when it was shown that I had the ability to smell out and communicate about all kinds of substances. Nielsen soon put us on loan to the ATF, and I was given the job of sniffing all all kinds of dangerous substances. And after every score, either Jack or Tina would buy me salmon. "I'm more of a dog person," Jack would say, scratching me between the ears, "but you have certainly made me change my mind about cats." "Look at this, Dolphina," she showed me a letter that she said had come from the Department of Homeland Security. "They want us! They want us to work inside the air terminal, sniffing out people's luggage, because you could tell whether that bottle really contains shampoo or hair conditioner, or whether it contains liquid explosives. We made the big time, girl!" And she scratched me behind the ears, and on my belly. My very first day insidethe terminal, I smelled something wrong about a guy that was about to be let through. I went to Tina, stood up on my hind paws, leaning on her leg, and chirped that to her then I went back to the guy I had sniffed out. The X-ray machine hadn't found anything wrong with him or his luggage, but I could tell he had contraband. He started to balk. "Do you have a warrant? I know my rights!" I pawed at him, and of course he had the scent of sweat humans exude when they're either scared or have hostile intentions. The Homeland security security agent was polite but officious. Please empty your pockets, sir." "You're racially profiling me! You can't do that!" "All right, since you refuse to do so, I shall be forced to empty them for you. Out of the miscreant's front right pocket, the agent pulled a plastic handgun. "You got this out of a 3-D printer, didn't you? Put your hands behind your back. You are under arrest. And Kitty, you really scored the motherlode. What does she like, Agent Gonzales? I'd like to buy her dinner tonight after we both get off work." "She's crazy about salmon. I don't like fish myself, but I buy it for her." She scratched me behind the ears. I licked her hand. I also licked the Homeland security agent's hand for good measure. Say she's pretty affectionate, isn't she? That's a good girl. He scratched me behind the ears, too. See more

I am the proud owner of 2 more great Tarot decks, which I have been using for my daily omens, WHEN I do them, which I should go back to doing. my writing day may go better. One of these decks is the Mystical Cats Tarot. Love the deck. Lunea Weatherstone and iconic artist Mickie Mueller have done a fantastic job of capturing the essence of Cat. Ms Mueller has captured their visual essence, while Ms Weatherstone has captured their essential wisdom. Isn't there a book titled "Everything I know I learned from my Cat"? The other deck is the Everyday Witch Tarot deck by Deborah Blake with art by Elisabeth Alba. And this deck also has cats in it. Don't dare separate a Witch from her cat. The book has much wisdom in it. You can find them at llewellyn.com. Just try choosing only one of them. Just try. I dare you.

Hi! I just got the Green Witch Tarot, and am excited to do my first reading with it. Will you be the first one on your block to be read with this beautiful insightful deck?

My rates are reasonable. PM me for my rate.

Come one, come all to Madame Tezra's Tea Room, where the divination rates are reasonable.