Ali Villa Fitness

When I told people at the resort what my morning routine was they asked, "you workout on vacation? That's dedication!" Sure. Call it dedication. Dedication to myself to keep my mind right. It's just kinda part of my life. It's important to me and I prioritize it. I workout for my mental clarity, to keep my anxiety under control, to work on my physical health, to look good in a bikini , as a "spiritual" practice of treating my body as a temple... And it feels so good. ... I call it a lifestyle. It's an act of self-love.. it's self-care! It's one aspect of my life that I do JUST for me. It gives me a sense of pride when I see the hard work I put in through my physical appearance sure, call it vain. I will call it self-love.

Meditate Gym Feed body nutritiously Stay hydrated Journal ... Soak in the sunshine This feels so good. Many of you are saying you wish you could do what I'm doing... Go on a solo vacation and do whatever the F you want. What's stopping you? Just like fitness goals... Create a goal Devise a plan. Stay consistent. And TA-DA! You end up on a beach in Cabo Mine came up pretty spur of the moment BUT it couldn't have come at a better time. I planned it 2 weeks in advance. I was looking forward to a couple vacations that never ended up happening so I decided TO HELL WITH IT I'm doing my own thing. I originally planned on going somewhere for a month during the beginning of school to focus on my new way of life and get into my groove. But then a special someone suggested an all inclusive resort somewhere BEFORE I start school so I can really take advantage of the relaxation. Uh YEAH! I start school on October. I don't think I will be able to do this for the duration of chiropractic school. Everything and everyone in my life that I seek counsel from really recommended that I focus on me right now. Even my psychic said in February that if I don't focus on myself it will catch up to me as soon as 6 months. And, well I think that happened. It caught up to me and now I'm forced to focus on my own well-being. The planning of this trip started off with the just a getaway and as time grew closer it developed more into a self-discovery journey. Books, podcasts, meditation, journaling and overall grounding. Yep. And tequila

I'm in CABO! And I'm doing me... Whatever doing "me" means. I'm currently sitting at the Italian restaurant at the resort drinking cab and eating lamb in my bikini (don't worry, I have a cover up on). I'm reading, journaling, lizarding in the sunshine, drinking , and figuring out what I want to do tonight.. tomorrow.. in life.... No partner. No friends. No family. No cats (they count). Nobody but ME to worry about. It's weird. As much as I wish I had someone to enjoy this with, I'm really reminding myself that this trip is for ME. There's so much happening in my life. And so much more is happening in the WORLD. Like, what is going on out there? But the one thing I can control is taking care of myself. Being my own best friend. Diving into healing my traumas, giving the most attention to my mind body and spirit while I'm given the opportunity to do so. It's so weird not having to worry about anyone else right now, and I'm trying to allow myself just that. Me. Me me me! I have always been pretty selfish, or so I thought. But the first day of my self discovery trip is proving... Welp, I've been lying to myself. Yes, I love me (and that's not a bad thing! You should love you too). But I'm so connected to being concerned with others... Their feelings, their feelings towards me, their traumas and helping them heal their traumas, their thoughts, their life journeys, their opinions.... Gah!!! My worth is not based off what I GIVE and who's willing to give to me. My worth is not measured by companionship. I have to be happy with just good old me. It's so scary tho

"I'm going to have a good fuckin day." Did you see my story post yesterday? I'm tired. I'm tired of succumbing to the cycle of anxiety. ... It. Just. Keeps. Going. And. I. Want. Off. This. Ride. So, I'm doing something about it. I'm making 1 positive decision when I wake up and that's to have a good fuckin day. I'm DECIDING how I want to live out my day. I'm not allowing the anxiety that I wake up with to be my ruler ANY MORE. What's that well known phrase...? Oh right one day at a time. Sure, I may cry that day. I may have moments of panic. BUT I decided to have a good day, which means I won't let a few moments of anxiety ruin it. It happened. I allow it. I move on. I won't let myself hold onto that feeling. I'm manifesting the day I want to have. I'm creating small attainable goals for myself. After I decide I'm GOING to (not want to or wish for, but actually telling myself that I will) have a good fuckin day, I pick 3 things that I can do to make sure I do just that. These 3 things should help you achieve even just a moment of happiness and something worth celebrating. For me, movement is always on that list whether it be a workout, a long walk or a pole jam. Some other ideas include nourishing your mind and your spirit. Maybe you decide you want to read, listen to a podcast, take a 5 minute meditation break away from work/family. Or maybe it's just simply to shower, to do laundry, brush your hair, or make a cup of your favorite tea. Choose your 3 things. Make them achievable. Hold yourself accountable. Schedule it into your phone. Tell your hubs. Let your kids know that 5 minute alone time is happening after lunch today. Do what you gotta do to make those 3 things happen. You've tied these 3 things now into the mindset of "I'm going to have a good fuckin day". So, guess what? Now when you complete a task, you realize... "Fuck YES! I did it. I made a goal and I accomplished it." Small wins for major gains. You. Feel. Proud. You've accomplished something (3 things) to help you have a good day. Before bed, review your accomplishments. CELEBRATE those wins. Then wake up the next day and do it again. Let's have a good fuckin day, mmmkay?

The past two weeks have been riddled with panic attacks. The impending sense of doom, the heaviness in my chest, the pulling at my heart strings... I'm done! I can't do it anymore. During a panic attack your body literally feels like it's dying. I hate going through this. It's debilitating and exhausting. I'm having a hard time. The universe seems to be throwing so much bullshit my way. The amount of stress I feel like I've faced this year has overshadowed the pandemic, fuck..., I forget sometimes that the world is suffering a public health crisis! I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not worth it. I'm exhausted from constant mind chatter. I KNOW I'm not the only one dealing with a whole bunch of bullshit. And although I hate to say it, I'm glad I'm not the only 1. It makes me feel stronger knowing we all are going through our own crap together. I'm promising myself from here on out to focus my attention more on ME. A psychic told me, my therapist told me, and my friends have told me... I HAVE TO DO ME for a while. I can't be there for others if I'm not strong enough within myself. I am the most important person in my life. And you too should feel the same way about yourself. I live with myself every day. I must be happy with the person I am... I have to be content with being my own person on my own. I'm grateful to have a support system in place. I'm proud of myself for making the decision to work with a therapist. I'm proud of myself for asking for help when I need it. I'm grateful for finding my professional destiny and not letting anything get in the way. Yet again, I must go on another healing journey. I started it last year and I think it's time I pick up where I left off. Just as I thought I was making progress I went backwards into old habits and ways of thinking. I guess it's all part of the process? I must trust in the universe that this is supposed to happen this way. I don't know what the future holds. But this gives me an opportunity to fall in love with myself again and put myself at the top of my list (let's be honest, I've always been there but sometimes I lose sight).

Took a nice hike today! (It certainly was windy though ) Never been one to enjoy going on hikes in the past but I sure do enjoy them with with him. What are your favorite hikes in Marin county/near SF?