Ella Frantz, Your Success Therapy on Skype

Impostor Syndrome Many high achievers share a dirty little secret: deep down they feel like complete frauds. They often believe that all their accomplishments are the result of some incredible luck... This psychological phenomenon, known as Impostor Syndrome, manifests a painful belief that you’re an incompetent failure - despite any evidence that indicates that you're you are a knowledgeable and successful individual. People suffering from low self esteem and lack of confide...Continue reading

How to Cope with Holiday Stress Don't we all love the holiday time? However, for some of us stress and depression can ruin the holiday magic. The holidays always present an overwhelming array of demands shopping, baking, cleaning, attending parties and entertaining. But with some practical tips, you can minimize the holiday stress. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would! When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to pre...vent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past. 1. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. Don't put pressure on yourself or others! 2. Acknowledge your feelings. If you recently lost someone close, or you can't be with your loved ones - realize that it's normal to feel sad. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season! 3. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and meet new people. 4. Set aside any differences. Try to accept your family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside any grievances until a more appropriate time. Chances are your friends and family are feeling the effects of holiday stress too! 5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend and stick to your budget. You can't buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts! 6. Plan ahead. Pick specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. And don't forget to line up help for party prep and cleanup! 7. Learn to say "no". Saying "yes" when you should say "no" can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity! 8. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Find something that relaxes you, reduces stress and helps restore your inner calm. Is it soothing music, exercise? Or maybe just taking a nap? Learn to recognize your holiday triggers, such as financial pressures, demands or personal challenges, so that you can combat them before they lead to a meltdown! With a little planning and some positive thinking, you will find peace and joy during the holidays! #holidays #stress #christmas #shopping #gifts #therapy #counseling See more

Watch with sound on! "The only way to have a friend is to be one..."

How to Manage Your Anger: 9 Helpful Tips Do you get angry when someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper and raise your voice when someone disagrees with you or refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal emotion, but it is important to deal with it in a healthy way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health, professional life and your relationships. Start by considering these 9 anger management tips:... 1. Wait and think before you speak. In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything and allow others involved in the situation to do the same. 2. Remove yourself from the scene of a potential conflict. Give yourself a few minutes of quiet time to calm down. That will help you feel better prepared to act in a more rational way. 3. Once you're calm, express your feelings using "I" statements to describe the problem. Avoid criticizing or placing blame which might only increase tension. Be respectful and specific. For example: "I get really upset when you don't offer to help with the chores" - vs. "You never do any housework." 4. Identify possible solutions. Instead of dwelling on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening, or eat on your own a couple of times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make things worse. 5. Get some exercise. Physical activity helps reduce stress that can cause anger. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, go to the GYM, ride your bike! 6. Don't hold a grudge. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to linger, you might find yourself overwhelmed with bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who made you feel angry, you might both learn from the situation and work on fixing a problem together. 7. Lighten up and use humor to diffuse tension. Thinking of things in a humorous way can help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you might have. 8. Learn and practice relaxation skills. When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming phrase, such as "It's alright. Take it easy." You can also listen to some relaxing music, write in a journal, or curl up on the sofa with your pet! 9. Know when to seek help. Learning to control anger might become quite a challenge for many people. If your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those you love - don't be afraid to reach and seek professional help. You'll be so happy you did! #angermanagement #couples #relationships #counseling See more

7 Ways to Beat Valentine’s Day Stress Don’t let this highly commercialized holiday get you stressed out and overwhelmed. Use these helpful tips to avoid unnecessary anxiety and have a date that the both of you will enjoy! 1. Stop procrastinating and think ahead. Don’t do last minute planning! 2. To eliminate any stressful guesswork have a conversation with your Valentine about how you both want the day to unfold. Remember - not everyone loves surprises!... 3. Don’t be afraid to suggest a scenario other than dinner at a crowded, expensive restaurant. You can cook an intimate meal, order in, or even scratch the whole meal thing altogether. Instead, spend the evening at a concert, the movies or double date with another couple whose company you enjoy. 4. Don’t spend hours looking for that perfect card which expresses exactly how you feel about your special person. Simple and genuine words leave a bigger impression than over-the-top prose crafted by Hallmark. 5. Don’t obsess about picking the perfect gift either. Establish a firm budget in your mind (you’re probably still paying off those Christmas bills, right?) and don’t be afraid to ask your beloved what they would really want. You could also shop together! 6. Remember that this day is not about forced expenditures. It’s an opportunity to spend quality time with the person you love. Holidays are about mutual appreciation rather than extravagance. 7. And if you’re single don’t spend the holiday wallowing in self-pity! Make plans with other single friends or better yet give yourself a special treat. Don’t forget that the most special person whom you always need to love, respect and count on - is the great, amazing and wonderful YOU! #love #relationships #couples #marriage See more

Opposites Attract: What Happens Next? Here’s a very common romantic movie plot: two very different people who initially can’t stand each other suddenly fall in love We’ve seen those kind of movies so many times that we somehow started to believe in this seemingly magical scenario. However, do we really know what happens to that couple after the final happy ending kiss? Have we ever wondered about how they fare down the road after that intense attraction subsides and real ...life kicks in? Where would the differences in characters, values and communication style go? Granted, it was probably those differences that might have caused that same attraction. But it is also true that the subsequent bickering, arguing and barrage of criticisms were also provoked by those very differences! They started off by disliking each other, remember? Some would say: So what? If they truly love each other they will overcome all the difficulties and find a way to get along. As a true optimist, I would be the first one to subscribe to that hope! As a therapist though, particularly one who has worked with hundreds of different couples over the years, I would not be rushing to that conclusion A common example: just like her Mom, she thinks money exists to be enjoyed and spent - life’s s too short! He was raised in a family which has always been extremely frugal. Will they both agree to change and meet somewhere in the middle as soon as they get together? If not, how many bouts of criticisms and arguing do they have to live through until either something changes or their relationship starts spiraling down? Or, she is goal oriented, quick, punctual. He is a forgetful dreamer, slow paced, and honestly - kind of flaky. How many late arrivals, forgotten errands, dirty dishes left in the sink will it take to turn minor episodes of dissatisfaction into huge blow-ups? To those who’ve read enough to ask: What’s your point? Should I run for the hills when I find myself falling for the very same person I used to dislike? The answer is no. However, don’t rush and jump into anything serious either. Take things really slow, observe (without the rose colored glasses!) Imagine how he or she will act in the same situation years from now and how that would make you feel. Talk to your friends, but not those who always tend to give you the kind of advice you want to hear. Get some input from your family - they are the ones who have known you the longest and have your best interests at heart. And finally, consider seeing a professional - someone who specializes in couple’s counseling. You go to a specialist with your health concerns, right? Doesn’t making a decision about your personal future deserve the same attention? #love #relationships #counseling #therapy