Your GPS to Inner Peace

During this pandemic, we're forced to evaluate our lives and decide how to live more purposefully. This Wednesday at 7 pm. Rick Broniec and I will be presenting a free seminar about answering your call and activating your mission.

I'll be on the road to Temecula a week from Saturday where I'll give my TEDx talk. Here's the details.

On the road to Temecula on Sept. 28 for my TEDx talk.

My co-author, Rick Broniec, and I just signed the agreement with a literary agent to represent our book, "Wake Up, Grow Up, and Show Up: Calling Men into the 21...st Century." We're excited to get an agent who is passionate about our work. His job will be to submit our manuscript to publishers and get a deal. Wish us luck! Here's a mock-up of a cover. See more

We're all meant to find our way Home!

My idea about generosity was seriously challenged when I attended the Evolutionary Collective Workshop in Berkeley a few weekends ago. With generosity as the th...eme, I came to realize that the nature of generosity was complex. We can be generous with money but stingy with time, generous with volunteering yet stingy with patience, generous with love but stingy with forgiveness. And if we expect to be loved by acting generous, then generosity becomes a way to obtain love from others. I faced my own relationship with generosity on the first evening of the workshop when I rode the BART train to Glen Park, where I was staying. Shortly after I arrived at the station, a homeless man in a wheelchair approached me. Could you help me out? the man asked. Normally, I would’ve said, No thanks and walked past him because there are many homeless people in Berkeley. I didn’t want to get involved in a host of problems, but it was especially hard to be stingy with my time since generosity was the theme of the weekend. I glanced at the bearded man wearing a black stocking cap, then at his left leg in a brace, then at the plastic bags hanging off his wheelchair. I hesitated before asking, What kind of help do you need? I expected him to ask me for a few dollars, but he surprised me. I don’t want any money, he said. I’m diabetic and could use a good meal. Could you help me out? I breathed a sigh of relief because I could easily practice generosity. I removed snacks in my backpacka bag of almonds and granola barsand offered them to him. He stared at them and shook his head. I can’t eat those. I immediately felt annoyed at the ungrateful man for rejecting my act of charity. He must’ve sensed what I was thinking because he quickly added, I have no teeth. Then to prove it, he opened his mouth and showed me that, indeed, he had no teeth. My annoyance morphed into feeling foolish for judging him. My heart softened. What can you eat? A burrito, he said, then pointed across the street at a Mexican restaurant half a block away. Frankly, it would have been easier to give him some cash and be on my way. After all, I had better things to dolike check my email. But generosity kept haunting my mind. Okay, I sighed. I’ll buy you a meal. I started walking to the curb to cross the street when I noticed the man struggling with his wheelchair up an incline. I asked, Do you need help with your wheelchair? He glanced up and sighed. That would be great. I grabbed the handles and began pushing his wheelchair across the street. What’s your name? Lenny. I almost stopped in my tracks. When I got over the shock that we shared the same name, I told him, I’m Leonard, but when I was a boy, friends called me Lenny. Wow. His eyes opened wide. What are the chances of two Lennys meeting? Some coincidence, huh? I said, wondering if Lenny was an undercover angel who appeared to point out my stinginess with compassion for society’s outcasts. When we arrived at the restaurant, I asked him what he wanted. If it’s not too much, a Super Burrito would be great, but without salsa. This angel in disguise was now testing to see if I could be super generous. Sure, I finally said. He picked at his black beard. Oh, and if it’s not asking too much, could you get me a Coke? Here’s where a wave of stinginess hit me. Couldn’t Lenny be satisfied with just a burrito? As I pondered his request, I realized that as a diabetic, he might have needed an intake of sugarespecially if his blood sugar level was low. I purchased the Super Burrito with a Coke and handed it to Lenny. He offered me a generous toothless smile. With Lenny clutching his meal, I wheeled him back to the BART station. Though he told me that he didn’t want to eat in the restaurant, I suspected he was embarrassed about eating food without teeth. Where will you sleep? In a homeless shelter nearby, he replied. But now I have a nice meal. He thanked me, again and again. Touched by his gratitude, I told him, Many people have helped me. I’m paying it forward to another brother. Lenny pushed his wheelchair closer and spoke softly. I’m embarrassed I have to ask for help. I could have said the same thing because I don’t like asking for help and feel embarrassed when others go out of their way to help me. Acting as a mirror, Lenny showed me how we were alike. We shook hands and said a warm goodbye. As I walked away, I knew my small act of generosity was nothing compared to what Lenny had given me. He taught me that when I’m cut off from the spirit of generosity, I become stingy and emotionally homeless, but when I share love and compassion with other souls, I find my way home.

Living Naked I sleep naked. What’s more, I can’t stand it when the sheets are tucked in at the foot of the bed. And whenever I travel and stay in a hotel, I’m compelled to liberate the sheets. Surely, they desire freedom like the rest of us! Okay, maybe sheets don’t give a damn about liberation, but I believe most of us do, and it’s called living naked. Growing up, I was taught, like most children, to be nice and not get angry, to fit in and not cause trouble. My parents, lik...e society, strengthened that message through positive and negative reinforcements. After a while, the beliefs, expectations, and demands of others acted like woolly overcoats thrust over my naked body. Wearing thick layers of constricting beliefs is exhausting! We often plod through life, unconscious of the heavy, judgmental cloaks passed down from previous generations. Fortunately, wake-up calls rattle our sheets to liberate us from mental restrictions so we can find our unique, naked self. Not an easy task, as the poet e.e. cummings aptly wrote: To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you somebody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting. It truly is a battle to stay awake and naked, especially in a world that rewards us for fitting in and wearing proper attire. Stating how we truly think and feel takes courage. If you’re reading this, you’re called to discover your authentic self. You may be asked to unearth and share parts of yourself that have been disowned or suppressed. But when you do, liberation occurs. You’ll experience the intoxicating freedom to be your distinctive, one-of-a-kind, special self. And you’ll want to do what you love and cherish, no matter what. Living naked fosters childlike curiosity, intimate sharing, and heartfelt connections. So strip off your constricting clothes and live naked. Take risks and be vulnerable with yourself and others. Let your body and senses reveal heartfelt desires. Welcome all your emotions as teachers. Discover the light and dark sides of your psyche. Eliminate blame and self-criticism. Shower yourself with acceptance and self-love. Find your unique voice and express yourself. Create relationships that support authentic sharing. Welcome home to your unique, naked self!

Reach out and extend a hand.