TracyCarsonTherapy

https://www.tracycarsontherapy.com//20/3/11/one-year-later

Like 17 million others, I watched @oprah interview Prince Harry and Meghan Markle on Sunday night. I found myself so proud of them for speaking out and also equally heartbroken for them knowing the deep work they must have done and the pain they must be experiencing of what it means to have broken free from deep dysfunction. The breaking free is only the beginning. . First there is acceptance that the boundary(ies) must be placed. . Then there is empowerment from finally taki...ng action. . Next comes anger. Anger for the need to create the boundary, for being the one required to do it, for the pain of the past. . Anger leads to confusion. Why didn’t they change for me? Why couldn’t they do what was necessary for healing? . This is usually followed by deep grief over the loss of what was normal albeit dysfunctional and painful. . These can cycle in and out for years to come but one thing remains true for almost everyone who does this work: that they know without a shadow of a doubt they are doing this hard work, creating boundaries and naming what is unacceptable so that those generations that come after them can look back and clearly say, There, right there, that’s who broke the cycle. . . #counselor #counseling #therapy #therapist #sandiego #TracyCarson #healing #trauma #family #compassion #motivation #workingmoms #encouragement #recovery #lifeskills #selfhelp #wellness #change #nervoussystem #pain #sorrow #joy #reallife #growth #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #generationaltraumahealing

How do we know when we are activated? What does that really mean? . Nervous System activation means that we are feeling threatened and therefore our nervous system is firing up the fight/flight/freeze response. After the amygdala (the part of your brain responsible for emotional response) sends a distress signal, the nervous system is busy sending signals throughout your body ultimately pumping the hormone epinephrine (also known as adrenaline) into the bloodstream. This is g...ood and necessary if we are truly threatened like when we are in a car accident or the slight chance you may be be chased by a bear in the wilderness. The problem comes when this threat response is initiated often and by triggers that aren’t truly threatening. This is usually because our amygdala does not differentiate from the initial danger (say a chaotic home environment) to the current danger like a packed and loud party. Until we can recognize the activation that is taking place we develop coping mechanisms to help us get through the event at hand but never truly address the part of our story that our amygdala THINKS we are experiencing again. The other thing that happens is misplaced blame on people or things that activate us. The question is not always WHY that particular instance is activating but WHAT is it tapping into or reminding us of that still needs healing? . The first step is awareness. Look for your bodies response to stimuli in your actions and feelings. Don’t judge, just notice. Remind yourself of your safety in the here and now and perhaps journal what associations may come up for you. You are not alone. #counselor #counseling #therapy #therapist #sandiego #TracyCarson #healing #trauma #family #motivation #workingmoms #encouragement #recovery #lifeskills #wellness #nervoussystem #pain #sorrow #joy #reallife #growth #edrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #postpartum #motherhood #coronavirus #anger #grief

Now that we know what anxiety is what do we do when we feel it happening? I often have clients tell me about the frustration that occurs when they notice their anxiety spike. It can be so defeating to be anxious about our anxiety. . In the moment when anxiety washes over us it’s hard to immediately solve the problem. The best thing to do is pause and then follow these four steps. 1. Orientation. Use your five senses to help remind you of the present moment. Anxiety often... lives in a what if scenario so the more we can be in the present moment the more helpful it will be to navigate. 2. Belly Breath. Deep breaths flood our nervous systems especially by lowering heart rate, regulating blood pressure, and helping you relax, all of which help decrease how much of the stress hormone cortisol is released into your body. 3. Establish Safety. How can you remind yourself that in this moment you are safe? Do you need to get somewhere to do that? Do you need to be with someone to remind you that you are in fact safe? How can you plan for this before the activating instance? 4. Reasonable Resolve. Can you bring this spike of anxiety to a point of completion? (Sometimes you can’t.) Would doing x, y or z help mitigate some of the stress? Is there a short term solution that can then lead to a longer term one? . I hope these help in the midst of an anxious episode. Is there anything else you would add? . #counselor #counseling #therapy #therapist #sandiego #TracyCarson #healing #trauma #family #motivation #workingmoms #encouragement #recovery #lifeskills #wellness #nervoussystem #pain #sorrow #joy #reallife #growth #edrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #postpartum #motherhood #coronavirus #anger #grief #anxietyrelief

Yesterday I asked the question, Can our anxiety be a clue and ultimately help us? The answer is YES, but you need to know what you are looking for in order to help you move forward. . These questions are prompts that might help you navigate where that anxiety started. For instance, while you may feel anxious around your boss chances are the anxiety didn’t start at that relationship. Asking yourself how old you feel and recognizing what it reminds you of might help you recal...l a troublesome coach or unsupportive parent earlier on in life. . Here is the amazing part: This means your anxiety is alerting you to a familiar feeling that your body is actually trying to protect you from experiencing again. We are miraculous beings that have the capacity to heal! . As you navigate these things it’s wise to work through them more in depth with a professional so you don’t put yourself over threshold or overwhelmed with new information and no where to process. That’s the beauty of working we a therapist: they can wisely hold on to what you aren’t ready to navigate. . It’s my hope that these sorts of prompts demystify the therapeutic process so more people can experience its benefits. . #counselor #counseling #therapy #therapist #sandiego #TracyCarson #healing #trauma #family #motivation #workingmoms #encouragement #recovery #lifeskills #wellness #nervoussystem #pain #sorrow #joy #reallife #growth #edrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #postpartum #motherhood #coronavirus #anger #grief

When I was a young therapist I was quick to see anger as bad or unacceptable. As I’ve grown in my therapeutic understanding, I now see that anger is a clue. It gives crucial indicators of where we have been hurt. As a nation, we have been hurt. If the anger makes you uncomfortable, dig in, there is likely deep grieving. In order for any healing to take place, it all must be validated. . < Link in Bio > .... #counselor #counseling #therapy #therapist #sandiego #TracyCarson #healing #trauma #family #motivation #workingmoms #encouragement #recovery #lifeskills #wellness #change #nervoussystem #pain #sorrow #joy #reallife #growth #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #coronavirus #anger #grief

https://www.tracycarsontherapy.com/acceptable-anger

Whether you are learning the nuances of an infant for the first time or in the thick of it for the fourth(!)time like I am, motherhood, especially mothering newborns, is utterly exhausting. . As with time I am thankful for the opportunity to learn new ways of adapting and ultimately growth. The blessing of this fourth babe is that I have come to expect the exhaustion; that doesn’t make it any easier though, but it does make it predictable! . Knowing how to accept and lean int...o the exhaustion has been a game changer for me in my overall postpartum healing. However, it was a long and arduous task of settling in to that acceptance. When I was a new mother 13 years ago, I was insecure and scared and so very afraid of not doing it right. I had no clue what I was doing and my coping mechanisms were to face the unknown with resilience and achievement. I read all the books, had all the schedules memorized and thought I knew how to be successful with a baby. Never mind that there was zero measuring stick for this except what I thought was perfection based on the anecdotal evidence of my friends. Sadly, I didn’t have any voices in my life at that time telling me that I was running myself ragged trying to DO all the right things instead of BEING present with my babe. . I constantly felt like a failure and my emotional state suffered. I didn’t realize that my exhaustion was perhaps exactly what those early days were supposed to look like. I had to learn to rest and not achieve but it took time. . As I frequently nap these days when Henry naps or sit on the couch with a to-do list nowhere to be found I find myself longing to go back to my younger self to be an advocate for her. Give her permission to rest and not achieve, to follow her instinct instead of a book, to BE instead of DO. . Perhaps you find yourself in a similar state of tension, baby or not, and you need this permission too. That exhaustion is in fact a normal side effect of particularly challenging seasons of life (maybe like navigating month six of a global pandemic?) and you have every right to rest now. . If you need permission, you have it. Permission to rest, from whatever keeps you up at night. See more

Happy Thursday Friends! We are counting down the days in our house (three weeks to go!) until baby’s arrival and while we are all so excited, there is a lot about this birthing experience that will be so very different. . My three big self care action items for the next three weeks are: 1. Educate Myself on new or different hospital protocols. 2. Grieve often and freely as I experience and acknowledge the losses that come with a pregnancy in the pandemic.... 3. Come up with new and different ways to celebrate this very special gift of life. (Any ideas?!) . Any other pregnant mamas out there? How are you preparing for birth? Would love to know how you are thinking through this unusual season in the comments below . . . #counselor #counseling #therapy #therapist #sandiego #TracyCarson #healing #trauma #family #motivation #workingmoms #encouragement #recovery #lifeskills #wellness #change #nervoussystem #pain #sorrow #joy #reallife #growth #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #coronavirus #pregnant #birthplan #pregnancy

Happy 4th of July. . America is in her adolescence but I will choose to love her anyway. She is messy and complicated and often times impulsive and over confident but she will grow. We all do. . May your weekend be filled with mask wearing, socially distant celebrations that hopefully reminds you of a freedom worth fighting for now more than ever before.... #counselor #counseling #therapy #therapist #sandiego #TracyCarson #healing #trauma #family #motivation #workingmoms #encouragement #recovery #lifeskills #wellness #change #nervoussystem #pain #sorrow #joy #reallife #growth #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #coronavirus