The Tiger Cooler

now we only sell soylent. veitch's orders

Hey kids! Guess what? It's your new Tiger Cooler moderator here to announce that the Tiger Cooler has officially been renamed "The Harambe Cooler." That's right! We're all here as an oxy community bonded together to honor our fallen friend, Harambe. A correlating menu change will go hand in hand with the name changer in order to properly facilitate this endearing homage. Grilled Cheese sandwiches and burgers will now be known as "gorilla patties." All banana sales will go towards oxy's newest administrative project "Harambe LLC" to further the efforts of keeping children outside of the Cincinnati Zoo.

The Tiger Cooler THe tiger Cooler THC That's right kids! You heard it here, first! The Tiger Cooler is now 4:20 friendly! Bring your friends, and then bring your buds, cause from now until 4/20/1993, we'll be hot-boxing the Tiger Cooler with the dankest kush you've ever laid your nostrils on. And we know what all you spliff-heads love after toking up on some of that Alabama All-Green. For the first time, The Tiger Cooler will be serving actual food to really satiate the appet...ites of you spaced-out doobie-doers. Don't even hesitate! Come on down and chow down on the hottest / hot-boxest / hottest box place in town.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7GW8TYCEG4 Have this moment for life? And Drakes' lyric "Everybody dies but not everybody lives"? The sad truth is Nicki Minaj, Drake and all who are living it up now in riches, excesses, fame and sinful lifestyles are going to burn forever in eternity. Their life in eternal damnation will be the entire opposite of their immensely pleasurable short life now ... They will be in utter darkness, no money, no pleasures, no fans, no fame, no friends, nightmarish non stop agony and torture, hell fire, loneliness, hopelessness, no rest, only crying, screaming, cursing God, hating their existence, and non stop anguish Turn to Christ and avoid the horrific fate of Nicki Minaj, Drake and all artists/celebrities who reject Christ for worldly pleasures.

Are you single this valentine's day? Looking for someone who will finally love you for the truly pitiful person you are inside? Then fuck off, because this offer is only for the successful and attractive people of this campus, because, honestly, the rest of you are barely worth a goddamn breath. This Valentine's Day, the Tiger Cooler has been turned upside down into the Tiger Heater: Den of Hardcore Adultery. For a limited time, we will be serving special products to get you ...and your fucked one into the sex zone. All of our condiments have been replaced with ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise flavored lubricants. Instead of a traditional meal, opt-in for our all-you-can-eat-out buffet! Fifty Shades of Grey? More like Fifty Shades of NAY. For the first time, the interior of the Tiger Cooler will feature at least 60 colors, to really get your asshole moist. (That's 20% more than mom-erotica!) All the chairs and tables have been replaced with heart-shaped water beds for your easy access to mommy-daddy time in the most romantic setting of all. So this Valentine's Day, don't opt in for a bullshit reservation at some high and mighty restaurant. If you want to get fucked, the only place is the Tiger Cooler. Kids eat free.