Positive Psychology Inc.

We are group of doctors (psychologists and postdoctoral fellows) who have lived experiences belonging to marginalized groups and have worked extensively with both marginalized and non- marginalized people. We believe in social justice and maximizing people’s potentials. Positive Psychology Inc. welcomes diversity and supports the LGBTQIA+ community. ... We stand in solidarity with the Black, Indigenous, Asian, and Latinx communities as well as other people of color. We welcome diversity and stand against systemic oppression, injustice, and violence against marginalized communities. We continue to examine our own privileges and biases and humbly lean in order to become better neighbors and advocates. We challenge racist policies and we are committed to be antiracists. We cherish the diversity of humanity. We are committed to creating the safe space to foster healing and growth. #progress #progressflag #lgbtq #lgbt #blacklivesmatter #blm #socialjustice #solidarity #blackisbeautiful #brownisbeautiful #latinxisbeautiful #asianisbeautiful #youareworthy #dothework #translivesmatter #blacktranslivesmatter #humanrights #marginalized #wordsarepowerful #psychology #positivepsychology #positivepsychologyinc #inclusive

Happy Binder Hunting! Coming out as a transgender man or as non-binary, can already be a hard thing to do. Telling our friends and family who we truly are, can be difficult, although how many of us talk about the struggles that we face after coming out? So, lets talk about these things. When picking out the perfect binder, you want to keep in mind a few things. First, if you cannot afford a binder please go to your local LGBT community center and they will help you find a bin...der that fits you. Some transgender men donate their used binders after receiving their top surgery. Please do not bind your chest with an Ace bandage wrap. This can be dangerous for your body. It can cause bruised and or broken ribs. When you can get a binder, make sure that you find the correct size. You want to go off the size you would wear with a fitted sports bra, nothing tighter. When you try on your binder for the first time, you want to make sure that you can comfortably take a deep breath, do not spend more than eight hours a day in your binder and do not sleep in it. Having it on longer than eight hours a day and sleeping in it can also cause trouble with breathing in the long run. The following is a link that you can click on, this site has personally helped me with finding the right binder. On this link there is also a place where you can measure your chest size to make sure you get the right fit the first time. Happy Binder Hunting. https://www.gc2b.co/pages/gc2b-binders Mr. Matthew Hanes (Gender Consultant at Positive Psychology Inc) #trans #transman #transmasculine #chestbinder #gc2b #binderhunting #gernderdiversity #youareworthy #youareawesome #youareloved #positive #positivepsychology #positivepsychologyinc #lgbt #transgender #nonbinary #questioning #undecided #transgender #loveyourself #loveyourbody @gc2b The drawing is of a model on the gc2b website, drawn by a 4 year old with love

My Parenting Mistakes No.2 (Infant Sleep Schedule) I admit that when my newborn arrived, I did not feel well prepared and knowledgeable about how to parent an infant. I was sleepless, exhausted, and even apprehensive about leaving my newborn alone when going to the bathroom. I read books that preached ‘sleep training’ your baby and instituting a rigid infant sleep schedule. They included advice that was not research based and was only anecdotally supported (based on one or o...nly a handful of people’s experiences). After I read these books and tried to apply the recommendations, I realized I was going against my child's natural sleep rhythms and natural preferences. My baby preferred to sleep while nursing right next to me. As a result of following the book’s recommendations, my baby slept too much during the daytime and was awake throughout the nighttime. My sleep was significantly disrupted and I was stressed, as was my baby. Then I encountered a different book. If you are planning to pick one book to read and to learn from, then I recommend reading ‘The Discontented Little Baby Book,’ written by Dr. Pamela Douglas. Dr. Douglas is a physician who writes with the warmth and practicality of a parent, yet everything she writes is based on scientific research. After reading this book, I followed the research supported advice given in it. I followed my baby’s lead and ended up feeling more relaxed and rested. The first few months of your infant’s life can be the most demanding while also being the most precious. I hope you will take a look at The Discontented Little Baby Book and can enjoy these golden days. https://bookshop.org/a/14614/9780702253225 This is an ‘affiliate link’ and we receive a small commission. Bookshop.org is a company dedicated to the promotion of love of reading. Bookshop.orgdistributes 75% of their profits to local, independent bookstores, publications, authors, and others. We do not provide a link to Amazon because its CEO fails to pay a fair amount of income tax and also contributes to a) the concentration of wealth among a very small percentage of people and b) increased poverty within middle and lower socioeconomic groups.

A Conversation With A Child About Human Rights No.1. (Ruth Bader Ginsberg) Child (4 years old): I’m feeling lonely! Parent: Oh, I’m sorry. We were talking about the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Let us explain what she did for us. We are sad that she died. She was one of the Supreme Court judges. A judge is a person who decides what should happen when two people are arguing. She was a judge for the entire country. It is a very important job because her opinions wi...ll make new rules for the future. She was always trying to help people to be treated kindly and fairly. She made sure women can rent an apartment or buy a house on their own. She helped people work while they are pregnant. She fought so that women can get paid the same amount for the same work men do. She always tried to show that women are worthy and are important. Auntie Ruth wanted to make sure people are treated fairly whoever we are or whomever we love. She made sure people could not lose their job based on who they fall in love with or whatever gender they are. She helped so that a man and a man and also a woman and a woman get married. Auntie Ruth believed that kids should be able to play with whichever toys they want and also that people should be able to work whatever jobs they choose. There is nothing only boys could do or girls could do. When we are born doctors or midwives tell us what gender we are but sometimes they get it wrong. Maybe they thought a baby was a boy but she is a girl. Or they thought a baby was a girl but he is a boy. Or a person is neither a boy or a girl. When people are not the same gender as the one they were told at birth, they are transgender. Of course, Auntie Ruth wanted to make sure transgender people are treated fairly and kindly. When people disagreed with her position or when the team’s decision did not go the way she wanted it to, she responded by saying I dissent. Dissent means she disagreed with them. In her dissent, she provided an explanation so that we could all learn how we can and should be fair to people. We are very sad that she died. She was sick but she kept fighting until the end. She was small in physical size but

Today is Indigenous Peoples’ Day not Columbus Day. Please comment below Indigenous people and other Italian people worthy of celebration! #indegenouspeople #indegenouspeoplesday #indegenous #

Happy national coming out day! Out or not, you are valid, worthy, and loved. We will be here when you need us. It’s okay to be not okay. It’s okay to seek support. It’s okay to ask for help if you need it. You are not alone. #nationalcomingoutday #nationaldaughtersday #nationalcomingoutday #youareloved #youareworthy #youarevalid #psychology #positivepsychology #positivepsychologyinc #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gender #genderidentity #humansexuality #youarenotalone #seekhelp

My Parenting Mistakes No.1. (No Research Until Birth) I am going to share some of my own very humbling parenting mistakes. I present these mistakes in the hope that you will not have to share the same one day. One of my parenting mistakes is that, during my first pregnancy, I spent most of my time reading and researching the subjects of birth and delivery and had not paid enough attention to learning about parenting in the first postpartum months. Although birth education is... critical in preventing birth trauma (I will present more about this subject in a separate blog post), I hope you will spend time reading about early parenting and also considering what you are going to do after your baby arrives. After my baby arrived, I found myself scrambling as I tried to find good books about napping, feeding, emotion regulation, and other subjects. As I searched, my body was still in recovery and I felt continuously sleepy, hungry, and tired on a regular basis. These were not the ideal conditions for searching for good information. I admit I had later felt surprised at myself, that I had overlooked taking these steps at an earlier time. Did I actually believe I could somehow figure these things out during the initial recovery period? Did I possibly believe I already enough knowledge already? Did I believe that after learning a few therapy techniques (for parents) that this was somehow sufficient for already knowing how to parent my young infant? Could I have possibly believed that the psychology exams and classes in developmental psychology I took, had prepared me enough? Perhaps I mistakenly did believe these things. How silly of me! None of this prior training or experience had taught me things such as how much does a baby sleep? or how should I bathe a baby? So, if you or your partner is expecting, don’t forget to look into and to try to learn some information about the first months of caregiving before your bundle of joy arrives! I will recommend books on subsequent blog posts. Taeko Uchino-DiCarlo, Psy.D. (a psychologist and a parent who make many mistakes!) #humbling #mistakes #parenting #parentingmistakes #psychology #positivepsychology

Reminder: Not all birth givers are women or mothers. We may erroneously assume that people who give birth are women. However, some people who have a uterus and who give birth are not necessarily women. A birth giver may be trans masculine and have a uterus. Some people are non-binary and neither identity as male nor female. They may identify as having no gender, as having two or more genders, as being third or other-gender, or as moving fluidly among genders, etc. Birth giver...s may be intersex people who do not identify as women. (Intersex people are born with variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, or genitals that do not fit the typical definitions for male or female bodies). Some birth givers may identify as women but may not want to be called mothers. So, let’s make the language more inclusive. People who give birth are simply birth givers. #trans #transgender #birthgiving #birthgiver #love #inclusive #nonbinary #intersex #genderdiversity #agender #genderfluid #genderfluid #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #suicideprevention #bekind #beinclusive #positivepsycholgy #positivepsychologyinc #mentalwellness #psychology #gendercreative #genderexpansive #twospirit #chestfeeding #makeworldabetterplace

Emotions are like bodily sensations Parent: I want you to know that it’s okay to have whatever emotion it is that you feel. Emotions are just like any other type of feelings we have in our bodies. We can feel whatever it is that we feel, just as we feel hungry when we are hungry, ... we feel cold whenever we are cold, and we need to go pee pee when we have pee pee in our bodies. It is okay to feel these feelings. There are good ways to react to and to express certain feelings and some not good ways to react and express them. For example, it’s okay to have a full pee pee feeling in your bladder. A good way to react and to express this feeling is to go to the toilet and go pee pee there. One way that is not as good to react to and to express this full pee pee feeling is to pee pee on the living room floor. Another example is when you feel angry. A good way to react to one’s angry feeling is to use our words to tell Mommy or Daddy that we feel angry. One way that is never good for expressing our angry feelings is by using our bodies in a way that hurts others or ourselves. It is not good to ever hit or to throw things at others or at other things. Child: (3 years old): Is it okay if I smell poo poo after I go to the bathroom and I feel it smells very bad? (while laughing and giggling) Parent: Yes! Smelling poo poo is a good example! (while laughing hard) It is okay to smell the poo poo and to feel it does not smell good. (still laughing together) Telling you that you should not smell the poo poo or that you should not feel it smells bad does not make your feelings go away and it doesn’t make the poo poo go away either (laughing still). Your body noticed how smelly it is! So that’s called recognizing your own feelings. That’s good! And if you forget to flush the toilet after you go poo poo and it smells bad, then we can flush it now! Sometimes feelings in our bodies or in our hearts can tell us we need to take certain actions. Sometimes we just notice the feelings and there is nothing to do about them. All feelings, in our bodies or in our hearts, are valid. Taeko Uchino-DiCarlo, Psy.D. (Psychologist) #feelings #psychology #psychol

I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it. Maya Angelou Life can be extremely challenging and we change to adapt to the world. In this process I hope you are not compromising your integrity. I hope that the change you make bring about growth and strength. When the outside world treats you poorly, remember that unkind words and unthoughtful actions are not facts. They are opinions of others, which reflects others, not you. You are worthy as you are and do not let others reduce your worth. #youarebeautiful #youareworthit #youareworthy #mayaangelou #dontinternalize #psychologist #psychology #positivepsychology #positivepsychologyinc #suicideprevention #trauma #traumainformedcare #blacklivesmatter #wellness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #psychology #

Originally posted on positivepsychologyinc.com on 6/23/2020 Parent: I took your soy milk and put it in my cup. Your cup is empty and mine is full. While I transfer the milk, I spill some of your milk. Who needs to clean up the mess? Child: I do.... Parent: No, Mommy needs to clean up the mess. It is the mess Mommy made, spilling your milk. Child: Don’t make a mess, Mommy. Parent: That’s right. Mommy shouldn’t make a mess. And it is my responsibility to clean up. Mommy may want to make it look like it is your problem. But it is not. Mommy is the one who created the mess, so Mommy needs to clean up. Wouldn’t it be silly if I asked you to say thank you for cleaning up the mess? It is Mommy’s responsibility to make it right. Return the milk to you, and clean up the mess. If Mommy covers the mess with a towel and say the mess is gone, is it gone? Child: No. Parent: Right. Black people have been treated unkindly, and the mess is called racism. This mess is not for Black people to clean up. We need to. Taeko Uchino-DiCarlo, Psy.D. (Psychologist) Recommended book https://bookshop.org//how-to-be-an-antiracist/9780525509288 #blacklivesmatter #parenting #antiracism @ibramxk @antiracismdaily #nevertooyoung #nevertooyoungtobeantiracist #positivepsychology #positivepsychologyinc #psychology #blm #asianforblacklivesmatter #psychologist #silenceisviolence #statusquoisunacceptable

My 4 year old was so excited to make this solar system out of clay. She decided she was the Earth so for her birthday she decided she turned 4.5 billion years old, instead of 4 years old. She decided the Mercury is her younger sibling because it is small. The Venus is her paternal grandfather. The Mars is her maternal grandmother. The Jupiter is her father because it’s big. The Saturn is me because it’s big and pretty and has a ring on it. The Uranus is her maternal grand...mother. The Neptune is her maternal grandfather. She placed them according to today’s constellation. Thank goodness for Internet and Dr. @neildegrassetyson ! She said she was happy the Jupiter and the Saturn (her parents) are next to each other because they are married, by which she means they love each other. Covid 19 affected her. Because of her newborn younger sibling who cannot wear a mask yet and thus vulnerable, we have decided she would stay home instead of going to the daycare she loves. Our kids are going through such a difficult time. Some may have someone in the family who became ill. Their caregivers may be stressed and screen became their babysitter. Many of them cannot participate in activities like before. And they can’t touch friends. It is such a hard time for many caregivers. None of the decisions we make is perfect. Whatever decision we make is the best decision possible. It is heartbreaking that we witnessed significant disparities in race and class during this pandemic. And we caregivers are doing the best we can. We have to adjust the expectations and goals. The priority is, and it always has been, our connection with our children. It is much easier to fix an educational delay than the damaged relationship with our children. So next time we are about to raise our voice (and I say we here deliberately) let us take a deep breath and remember...our children need our grace and love more than ever. #covid19 #love #parenting #psychology #positivepsychology #positivepsychologyinc #clay #solarsystem #astronomy #earth ####### What are things you do to simplify? What simple activities have you done? Please comment below

Originally posted on the website on 6/22/2020 It is non Black parents’ responsibility to raise children who fight anti-Black racism. We can do this! Parent : Let’s say I tell you to make soy milk from soybeans. You work very hard. Then I take all your milk. You keep making milk. I take more milk from you. Now, your cup is empty, and my cup is full. How much milk should both of us get? Should we get the same amount, or you get more?... Child: I want more. Parent : Right. Equality means we both get the same amount of milk. Would that be fair? Child: No. Parent: That’s right. If we get the equal amount of milk, your cup will be half full and mine will be overfilling. That is not fair. You get lots of milk and I get no milk, then both of our cups are equally full. It is called equity. Equity is fair. Child: Yes. Don’t take my milk! Parent: Yes, Mommy is being mean to you so you are angry. That is exactly why Black people are angry. Some white people took milk from Black people and if we don’t pay attention, we end up taking milk from Black people. Child: Stop taking Black people’s milk! Parent: Exactly. We need to refill Black people’s cup. We went to the Black Lives Matter protest to say that we need rules that makes the society equitable. Equitable means fair. It is normal to feel angry when things are not fair. When there is unfairness, we speak up. We have to look closely to make sure we are not causing unfairness. When we do, we apologize and make it equitable. Child: I finished all my vegan cake. Can I have yours? Parent: Yes, I will fill your cup with milk to make it equitable, and I will give you my cake to say sorry for taking your milk. It doesn’t change the fact that I took your milk, but I am trying to fix my mistake. That is called reparation. Taeko Uchino-DiCarlo, Psy.D. (Psychologist) #antiracism #antiracist #blacklivesmatter #blm #asianforblacklivesmatter #equity #equality #wecandohardthings #nobodyisbornracist #educationmatters #educateourchildren