Nick Bognar, MFT

Question - how do you think covid will impact us living exemplary lives once we are out of quarantine? We can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We can envision a different world. But it will look different.... We have gotten used to living in a world of fear, sadness, despair, and loss. I would like to remind everyone that there are people less unfortunate than we are. This is a time (more than before) to see who else needs help and how we can give it to them My suggestions: give your time offer to charity volunteer This is as much for your health as it is for the rest of the community. If you know of a public resource that you value that can help others, drop it in the comments! Thank you all for sharing! #californiatherapist #therapistofinstagram #instagramtherapy #mentalhealthillness #mentalhealthcounseling #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #pasadenalife #pasadenamoms #mensmentalhealth #depressionsupport #onlinetherapy #couplestherapy #psychotherapist #southpasadena #relationshipexpert #counselorlife #traumainformed #counselorsofinstagram #stressreduction #mentalillnessawareness #emotionalwellbeing #copingstrategies #healingsession #reachout #areyouok #helpthoseinneed #selfcaretips #mentalwealth #positivechange #mentalhealthhelp

Put yourself in his/her shoes. That’s what we tell someone when we want them to see things from someone else’s point of view. When empathy is improved, we become better humans.... Empathy leads to: stronger, more meaningful relationships success in the workplace better health and quality of life So, yes, you can improve your empathy! LIKE if you agree! #therapistsofinstagram #mentalhealthisimportant #mentalhealthtips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthquotes #pasadenaca #pasadenacalifornia #mentalhealthcounselor #familytherapy #lmft #psychotherapy #relationshipcoach #therapistsupportingtherapists #relationshipcoaching #therapyworks #therapyiscool #mentalhealthhelp #betterdaysarecoming #encourageyourself #healingispossible #selfhealingjourney #eachmindmatters #askforhelp #talkaboutit #supportnetwork #mentalhealthcommunity #itsgoodtotalk #privatepractice #selfcareisimportant #adversity

Sometimes it's really hard to hold empathy or compassion. In 2007, I was in a pretty ugly car accident. It wasn't my fault; The person behind me, who was going too fast and riding my tail, didn't see my signal and tried to pass me on the left. The result was loud and gnarly and rendered my car useless for a week. We were really lucky that no one was hurt. We got out of our cars (and so did a witness), and I called the police and my insurance while the other driver called thei...r son. I'm a big guy, but the son was bigger. He arrived shortly after, and was quite upset. My insurance company was asking me to ask the other driver questions, but he put a stop to that quickly. When we filed the police report, I had one version of events, and the other driver had another, and I guess I'm lucky that the lone witness confirmed mine. I was found not-at-fault for the wreck, and I took my car to get repaired. When the time came for the bill, my insurance company informed me that the person's insurance was totally bogus. There would likely be no payment from them to repair my car. I ended up only having to pay my deductible for an accident that I didn't cause, which left me without a car for a week, by someone who drove aggressively and tried to get their son to scare me. I was furious. I had options. I could get a lawyer, I could call them on the phone. or I could go to their work. But when they got out of the car, they were wearing their apron from the restaurant where they worked. In my anger, the plans I had were complex and cruel. But then the apron stopped me. I've worked in restaurants before, and it's hard. I can't imagine what this person was going through, but I can understand why car insurance might have been out of reach. I gave it up. Why? Because in situations like this one, we can either get as self-righteous as possible and tune in to the part of us that has been wronged, or we can attune ourselves with the part of ourselves that is privileged, and lucky, and remember that someone else has had to forgive us for something dumb at several points in our life. I choose the latter.

Today I want to shout out to someone I admire for a variety of reasons. His name is Bill Penzey. He was once quoted as saying "property can be replaced, life can't."... Bill runs a highly-successful, high-quality business, but he also fearlessly speaks out against injustice and uses his resources to help people in need. I feel that if everyone did it like Penzey's, this country and this world would look very different. If you haven't checked him or his store out, I highly encourage you to check them out online @ www.penzeys.com/ #californiatherapist #therapistofinstagram #instagramtherapy #mentalhealthillness #mentalhealthcounseling #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #pasadenalife #mensmentalhealth #depressionsupport #onlinetherapy #couplestherapy #psychotherapist #southpasadena #relationshipexpert #counselorlife #traumainformed #counselorsofinstagram #stressreduction #mentalillnessawareness #emotionalwellbeing #copingstrategies #healingsession #reachout #areyouok #helpthoseinneed #selfcaretips #mentalwealth #positivechange #mentalhealthhelp #communicationskills

IS THERE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EMPATHY AND COMPASSION? Oftentimes, the two words can be used interchangeably. Empathy is a skill that can be built and practiced.... One of the ways we get sidetracked when we consider or discuss people who are different from us is by assuming that others' actions are crazy or unreasonable because they are different from our own. A cornerstone of empathy is understanding that people's decisions always make sense when we understand the context. We may not always make optimal or healthy decisions, but we always think we are making the right decision. In a diverse world like ours, it's easy to assume that there's one set of rules and one set of values and that everyone else is aberrant. I challenge people, when they feel confused or upset by others' decisions, to exercise curiosity to understand why that person thinks or acts the way they do. Ultimately, we may not end up agreeing, but we will at least understand and respect one another- and that is empathy. LIKE this post if you agree FOLLOW @nickbognarmft for more resources and value about relationships, men's mental health, and codependency. #mentalhealthadvocacy #mentalhealthadvice #anxietyanddepression #talktherapy #endthestigmaofmentalillness #endthestigmaofmentalillness #anxietytreatment #anxietytherapy #anxietyhelper #traumatherapist #traumaawareness #traumasurvivors #losangelesarea #losangelescalifornia #mensmentalhealthawareness #relationshiptalk #counselor #copingskills #overcominganxiety #seekhelp #clinicalpsychology #healingtakestime #mentalhealthformen #getsupport #therapyformen #therapysession #therapysessions #traumainformedcare #emdrtherapist #developmentaltrauma

WE ARE BACK! I am excited to be back at it in the More Exemplary Podcast! This season's theme will revolve around answering your burning questions. Feel free to head to my link in bio where you can submit your questions anonymously and I will answer them here on my podcast!... Today's question is: I've been fighting a lot with my partner about when we can go out after we have BOTH been vaccinated. We can't seem to agree and every time we discuss it, we end up getting in a huge fight and staying mad for a few days. What can we do? This is likely a question many others may have as we start to open up businesses as more and more people are being vaccinated. In this episode, I discuss what reflective listening is and how you can use it when discussing topics in which both partners have differing views. Do you practice reflective listening? Place an emoji in the comments if you do!

When I started doing my own therapy, it was for a (nobly) selfish reason: I felt like shit, and I wanted to feel better. Something I didn't foresee was how much better of a person this experience has made me. I've been so lucky to have great therapists, who are highly attuned both to my experience and my blind spots. As a result, the work has made me feel better AND be a better partner, friend, and person. It wasn't always a pleasant process. I can remember vividly coming in... to discuss a super frustrating coworker I was dealing with, only to have my therapist say, "Can I challenge you on that...?" (a phrase I still use as a clinician today) before illuminating to me that, in fact, I was the one acting like an asshole. I gotta say, once I was able to tolerate the humility of that, it really opened the door for me to be the person I want to be. If you want to kick it into a higher gear and become the person you've always dreamed of being, we should talk. #therapistsofinstagram #mentalhealthisimportant #mentalhealthtips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthquotes #pasadenaca #pasadenacalifornia #mentalhealthcounselor #familytherapy #lmft #psychotherapy #relationshipcoach #therapistsupportingtherapists #relationshipcoaching #therapyworks #therapyiscool #mentalhealthhelp #betterdaysarecoming #encourageyourself #healingispossible #selfhealingjourney #eachmindmatters #askforhelp #talkaboutit #supportnetwork #mentalhealthcommunity #itsgoodtotalk #privatepractice #selfcareisimportant #adversity

There are a lot of resources to help each of us cope with trauma. Resiliency appears to depend on a few different factors. One is general temperament, which is just a function of someone's natural genetic development. Everyone is different. Another piece of it is the person's history, including how much trauma a person has been subjected to and how they have rebounded from it in the past. Some people's survival leads to more trauma, and other people develop strength from th...ose experiences. Lastly, some people learn skills (such as self-regulation) and have active support networks that enable them to be more resilient. So although people are born with different temperaments, resilience is a possibility for nearly everyone, if they can develop the right skills and hopefully build a robust support network. #californiatherapist #therapistofinstagram #instagramtherapy #mentalhealthillness #mentalhealthcounseling #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #pasadenalife #pasadenamoms #mensmentalhealth #depressionsupport #onlinetherapy #psychotherapist #southpasadena #relationshipexpert #counselorlife #traumainformed #counselorsofinstagram #stressreduction #mentalillnessawareness #emotionalwellbeing #copingstrategies #healingsession #reachout #areyouok #helpthoseinneed #selfcaretips #mentalwealth #positivechange #mentalhealthhelp #communicationskills

http://READ CAPTION// ACOA or adult children of alcoholics grow up with a different sense of what they deem normal. They learn from a very early age how to act in social situations and whom they can rely on. Often, it isn't until they are much older that they realize that the life they had under the roof with their alcoholic parent is anything but normal. I look forward to my chat with @michellelangeinc who is an ACOA and just starting on her journey to healing. Michelle ticks... all of the boxes off of an ACOA and only now is she realizing how that is affecting her life. As a workaholic and perfectionist who is known for being fiercely loyal, our conversation on Sunday will be anything but boring. Please tune in at 4:00 pm PST for the IG with her. #mentalhealthadvocacy #mentalhealthadvice #anxietyanddepression #talktherapy #endthestigmaofmentalillness #anxietysurvivor #anxietytreatment #anxietytherapy #anxietyhelper #traumatherapist #traumaawareness #traumasurvivors #losangelesarea #losangelescalifornia #adultchildrenofalcoholics #acoa #acoarecovery #alcoholicdaughters #alcoholicdaughter #alcoholicchild #alcoholicchildhood #alcoholicchildren #californiatherapist #therapistofinstagram #instagramtherapy #mentalhealthillness #mentalhealthcounseling #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #pasadenalife #pasadenamoms

The struggles caused by growing up with a parent living with an active addiction continue to plague adult children's abilities to live balanced and emotionally healthy lives. Adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs) will often impulsively make a choice or respond to a situation without thinking through the consequences or considering other options. Ultimately, this means that they will spend a lot of time trying to fix the problems that result and/or covering up the consequence...s. Impulsivity is something my guest, Michelle Lange knows all too well. As an ACOA, she still struggles with this and is attracted to high-risk situations. This is just one of the many traits she exhibits as an ACOA. I am excited to sit down with her on IG live this Sunday to discuss what it was like growing up with an alcoholic parent and how she navigates her adult life as a parent. @michellelangeinc #mentalhealthadvocacy #mentalhealthadvice #anxietyanddepression #talktherapy #endthestigmaofmentalillness #anxietysurvivor #anxietytreatment #anxietytherapy #anxietyhelper #traumatherapist #traumaawareness #traumasurvivors #losangelesarea #losangelescalifornia #mensmentalhealthawareness #relationshiptalk #counselor #copingskills #overcominganxiety #seekhelp #clinicalpsychology #mentalwellbeing #mentalillnessrecovery #askhelp #mentalhealing #letstalkaboutmentalhealth #mentalhealthishealth #yourenotalone #selfcareadvice #selfhealingjourney

The episode is out and I am stoked about it! Have a listen here and let me know what you think! Thank you again to Erline Maingot for having me on as a guest on her podcast and keeping it raw and authentic! Have a listen here! https://www.buzzsprout.com/1228892/6799954... #therapistsofinstagram #mentalhealthisimportant #mentalhealthtips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthquotes #pasadenaca #pasadenacalifornia #mentalhealthcounselor #familytherapy #lmft #psychotherapy #relationshipcoach #therapistsupportingtherapists #relationshipcoaching #therapyworks #therapyiscool #mentalhealthhelp #betterdaysarecoming #encourageyourself #healingispossible #selfhealingjourney #eachmindmatters #askforhelp #talkaboutit #supportnetwork #mentalhealthcommunity #itsgoodtotalk #privatepractice #selfcareisimportant #adversity

I am pumped to announce another amazing podcast I had the pleasure of being a part of. It will be dropping tomorrow and I am thrilled to have had this opportunity to sit with Erline Maingot on her podcast - Uncomfortable Truths. It will be available wherever you like to listen to your podcasts. It is episode 49 with the title Cutting Room Floor. I look forward to hearing your thoughts! @erlinema1227 ... #californiatherapist #therapistofinstagram #instagramtherapy #mentalhealthillness #mentalhealthcounseling #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #pasadenalife #pasadenamoms #mensmentalhealth #depressionsupport #onlinetherapy #couplestherapy #psychotherapist #southpasadena #relationshipexpert #counselorlife #traumainformed #counselorsofinstagram #stressreduction #mentalillnessawareness #emotionalwellbeing #copingstrategies #healingsession #reachout #areyouok #helpthoseinneed #selfcaretips #mentalwealth #positivechange #mentalhealthhelp