Integral Movement

A new IR video has been released! Here I'm covering the second-tier stages of consciousness development and their influence on a romantic relationship.

We often hear that good communication is the most important thing to make relationships work. While this is essentially true, it is often not understood that pe...ople who are at different levels of consciousness development cannot solve their relationship conflicts through better communication. This is because they make different validity claims to what is true, truthful, (morally/ethically) right, and practical. It is as if they speak different languages, such as Greek and Chinese. People in a pure survival situation (which can be real or imagined) demand/require our immediate and full attention and action to rescue them. People on the magic level are often superstitious and fearful, and see all kinds of imagined threats and dangers. Their communication is irrational, with beliefs in miracles, magical powers, unseen outside forces, and their own narcissistic perceptions. They expect their partner to make them feel safe through compassion and affirmations, and by joining like-minded tribes and communities who share their views and concerns. Egocentric people demand respect and validation for their subjective needs and truths, think that nobody can be trusted, believe that everyone should fend for themselves and that their desires must be met immediately without consideration of the needs of others or negative consequences in the future. People on a mythic/conformist level validate or argue that what is true, right, beautiful, and practical cannot be decided by individuals, but is given by higher authorities and powers (which are typically male) that are not to be questioned. The rules and laws are necessary to bring stability and order. Adherence brings future rewards and violations will be punished. Rational people argue that only objective experience, reason, and empiricism can deliver what is true, ethical, aesthetic, and practical. They usually suggest keeping emotions out of the conversation and focus on interests and win-win thinking instead of fixed positions. Pluralistic people shift their communication from goal-oriented objective rationality to expressing subjective observations, feelings, unmet needs, and making requests (rather than demands), known as compassionate or non-violent communication. The understanding of these different ways of communicating allows integrally informed people to hear and understand people at various levels of consciousness. They can then show curiosity and understanding, adjust their communication to their interlocutor's level, avoid conflict by agreeing to disagreeing, or end a conversation or relationship with love and compassion when conflicts become irresolvable.

New article "Why is it so difficult for Integral people to find/attract their soulmate?"

Happy Friday everyone! I want to share my new video from Integral Relationship training about the green stage and its influence on love relationships. This stag...e allows for greater compassion, idealism, and involvement. In the video, I'm talking about the healthy needs and expressions, and the unhealthy aspects and limited views that lead to relationship conflicts and breakups. Check it up! And please, share what do you think in the comment section See more

Where are all the integral men? It is an interesting phenomenon that men by any measure (life expectancy, physical health, job security, financial income, socia...l status, sexual satisfaction, emotional stability, substance abuse, suicide rate, etc.) benefit more from being in love relationships than women do (unless they are in a really healthy relationship), but are usually much less interested in singles events, being on a dating website (unless they are just for hook-ups), and participating in relationship skills courses, trainings, and workshops. So women always ask me: Where are the Integral Men??? I wonder what you think about the reasons I give below why that is, and what can be done about it? In other words, how can we attract more integral men? Maybe you can share this message with your single male friends to find out? 1. Men typically have to take the risk of rejection Most women still expect men to make the first move. No matter how mature, it still hurts men to hear things like I like you as a friend, but I am not romantically/sexually attracted to you, or you are out of my league, or (in so many words) I am looking for someone who I can marry up to (financially, physically, socially, etc). Men are also usually expected to go the distance, come up with creative activities, and pay for dates. And with the MeToo movement (which I support), approaching women has become even harder, riskier, and more confusing for men. Our solution: We offer a confidential way to indicate who the participants in our Integral Singles Events and Trainings are interested in, and only share their contact information if the attraction is mutual. 2. Men experience shame when they are rejected, while women experience fear about choosing the wrong partner Brené Brown writes; for men, the primary shame mandate is, ‘Do not be perceived as weak’ when they are triggered by a sense of failurewhether it is at work, on the football field, in bed, in marriage, or with children. So even admitting that they need a singles event or relationship training to find a partner and being rejected when they approach a woman may trigger shame for being deficient, a failure, or otherwise not desirable. On the other side, women have the burden to choose and sometime a fear to reject. It is much easier for men to assess which women meet their primary sexual fantasy for good reproductive capacities/sexiness than it is for women to asses which men (in addition to their good looks/height) have good productive capacities as reliable, trustworthy, and potent protectors and providers who are benevolent towards them and aggressive towards others. A kind way for women to reject a man is to say something like; thank you for asking, you really have good taste. I appreciate that you approached me and took the risk of rejection. I know it takes courage and strength. I am looking for a partner who (insert biological, growth, and transcendental purpose you want to share with a partner). Please tell me what you are looking for in a partner, maybe I know someone. Our solution: To understand the fear-shame dynamic between women and men, and to openly talk about it to create mutual understanding, compassion and intimacy, as we explore in Module 10: The Fear-Shame Downward Spiral of our training (https://integralrelationship.com/fear-shame-spiral/). 3. Men are typically more desirable and lovable when they focus on accumulating wealth, success, social status, and physical fitness, instead of developing relationship skills Of course it would be ideal if men would do both, but they are often conflicted between pursuing their careers and maybe networking on one hand, and investing time and money in relationship trainings on the other. I have even seen women who where suspicious of men who developed their relationship skills or joined spiritual groups, out of fear that they would manipulate them or are weak (a.k.a. Sensitive New-Age Guys). On the other side, women often have a deeper interest in understanding themselves through others, and feel safer when they are with a partner, so they invest more into personal development and finding/attracting The One. A few years ago I was in a Calling in THE ONE training with 91 women and 3 men Our solution: In our trainings, we equally look at and explore the challenges that women AND men face in love relationships, and shift the sexual selection process from being overly focused on their biological primary sexual fantasies to selecting based on their shared growth and transcendental purpose. This allows couples to not only love each other, but even more so that which is uniquely co-created between them. My hope with this message is to encourage more men and women to join us, as I feel very passionate about the Integral Relationship Vision that creates more love and harmony between the sexes and thus a better world. So if you are single, join our three Valentine’s Day Integral Soulmate Networking and Matchmaking Events on February 14 or recommend it to your single friends: https://integralrelationship.com/is/