Hospice Educators Affirming Life Project

https://www.sfchronicle.com//How-COVID-pandemic-is-reshapi

GUIDING EACH OTHER THROUGH THE FINAL STAGES OF DYING Laura Huxley, the second wife of the noted twentieth century author Aldous Huxley, shares a moving account ...of how her husband guided his first wife, Maria, through the final stages of dying, and how Laura did the same for Aldous years later. The Huxleys were interested in hypnosis and hypnotic suggestion, and as Maria neared her end, Aldous sat with her, speaking into her ear, addressing the deep mind which never sleeps. Maria had loved the Mojave Desert, where they lived, and Aldous asked her to remember the changing light of the desert sky and the surrounding mountains, and see that light as an expression of the divine nature; an expression of Pure Being, an expression of the peace that passeth all understanding. Then he encouraged her to move toward the light, and open herself to love and joy and peace, to become one with them. I kept on repeating this, he said, urging her to go deeper and deeper into the light, and telling her he would always be with her. Her regrets and fears were barriers to entering that light, he said, so he urged her to forget them. At the very end, I went on with my suggestions and reminders, reducing them to their simplest form and repeating them close to the ear. ‘Let go, let goGo forward into the light.No memories, no regrets, no apprehensive thoughts about your own or anyone else’s future. Only light. Only pure being, this love, this joy. Above all this peace. Maria died without struggle, enveloped in love and peace Years later, when Aldous was in the last hours of his dying time, Laura used similar words to ease his passage, urging him toward the light, and repeating the words Light and free. That was the feeling she wanted him to take with him. Light and free you let go darling, she told him, forward and up. You are going forward and up; you are going toward the light.You are going toward a greater love than you have ever known. You are going toward the best, the greatest love, and it is easy, it is so easy, and you are doing it so beautifully. She repeated such words for hours, until at last he stopped breathing. The ceasing of life was not a drama at all, she writes, but like a piece of music just finishing so gently. I share these accounts not to suggest that you use the Huxleys’ words, but because the way they talk about moving toward the light echoes the language used by so many people who have had near-death experiences and come back describing their experience of light and feeling at one with something beyond themselves and this world. It’s possible that Aldous and Laura were guiding their loved ones toward just such a transformative experience, a connection with the Eternal. It’s certain that they were supportive, loving presences in the sacred space, the temenos, of the very end. You can be that for your dying friend or family member. Your words, your prayers, your presence, the touch or music you shareall of these can bring peace to you and your loved one in those important final hours. Trust that. Trust yourself. Dr. Charles Garfield; OUR WISDOM YEARS: GROWING OLDER WITH JOY, FULFILLMENT, RESILIENCE, AND NO REGRETS See more

"But discussion and acceptance are crucial...Invariably, by not having these discussions, we end up prolonging suffering."

Humbly asking all my friends to help get this resource out to nurses who may be struggling with so much loss, emotional exhaustion. For those it has reached, it has helped. Please join me in supporting our workforce. On amazon e-book or paperback. Ever grateful. Kathy