Family Therapy Ventura

Another great article that is very relevant today as we are still in this pandemic! https://dailystoic.com/patience-will-be-key-to-surviving-t/

Marcus Aurelius said: "It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own." A good reminder that another person's opinion of me is really none of my business. When someone reacts &/or judges our behavior/choices, it is often their projection of their own stuff or the meaning they assign to something that they probably have not sought to understand first (i.e. did they ask our intentions before judging?!?!). Their judgment of me is less important than my own. I have to look myself in the mirror every day. Each day striving to be a better version of myself based upon my values & beliefs (not someone else's).

Another great Daily Stoic: Dr. William Osler was a giant of the medical field in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. He was also a fan of the Stoics. He was a deep reader who advised his students to read Shakespeare before bed to clear and refresh their minds. He was one of the founding members of Johns Hopkins University and impacted millions of lives through his research. It was an incredible career that eventually ended, as Marcus Aurelius said of all doctors, on the s...ame humble deathbed that Osler had spent tirelessly working around his whole life. In Osler’s case, almost 100 years ago exactly, he caught the Spanish flu, a deadly pandemic not unlike the one we’re experiencing now. I’ve been watching this case for two months, he joked, and I’m sorry I shall not see the post mortem. He had fallen sick on Sep 29, 1919. By Oct 13, his fever was 102.5. Knowing he was marked to die, he took to quoting Tennyson, one of the authors he loved to read: Release me, and restore me to the ground. He died on Dec 29, 1919. His last words: Hold up my head. The moment recounted in John M Barry’s The Great Influenzaa must, must-readBarry writes that Osler always held his head high. But it made no difference. Marcus Aurelius held his head up high too, and still, in the end, none of us are stronger than a virus that has marked us for death. It doesn’t matter how brilliant we are, it doesn’t matter how much philosophy we’ve read or how many troops we command. We have to be smart of course, as Marcus Aurelius and Osler would expect us to be: Wear a mask. Do your research. Listen to the experts. Be part of the solution, not the problemdon’t contribute to the R0, the transmission rate of the pandemic. And as always, be humble. Don’t waste this time you have, whether it’s at home with your family or over the phone or email with friends and colleagues. None of us escapes death in the end. None of us are invincible. Make the most of this moment. In times like today, no message is more critical than memento mori, the admonition to remember that all of us one day will die. Keep it close at hand with Daily Stoic's memento mori medallion, pendant, or signet ring.

From one of my favorite daily newsletters: Daily Stoic Ancient Wisdom for Everyday Life https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/... There are things that just set you off. There are things that happened to you that you prefer not to think about. There are the things you asked repeatedly for someone to stop. There are the things that decent people are not supposed to do and say. And yet they happen anyway. So you get upset. You get triggered. Although not ideal, it is at least understandable. We should be patient with other people when they are triggered, we should be patient with ourselves when we are (as Marcus said, what matters when you fall or fail is to revert back to the training that you know and understand that you’re a human being). The problem is this extra thing we’ve started doing these days: Blaming other people for triggering us. Expecting the world to label every potential frustrating thought or idea with a trigger warning. That’s not reasonable, right, or fair. The Stoics knew that other people can’t trigger us. We can only allow ourselves to be triggered. As Epictetus said, we are complicit in the offenses we take. Our temper is ours to loseno one can take it from us and certainly no one can make us lose it. We have the power. We’ll have far more luck and happiness in this life if we spend our time strengthening it than we ever will trying to soften the world. One is a form of protection that’s up to us, the other is a fantasy and a projection. Which will you choose?

Wise parenting...

Love this! .... And take a deep breath...

This pandemic is clearly showing this...

It is all about the meaning I assign to things...

During this pandemic, the normal, healthy response is to feel fear & anxiety! That is our survival instincts going into alert mode & telling us to pay attention as this is a threat to our survival! This is the largest threat to our health & economy in our life time! People who deny the risk the coronavirus is to the lives of millions of people in our country are doing foolish things (like spring break partying or having parties/gatherings) & increasing the risk for the rest o...f us! Denial is dangerous. We can feel the fear & live WITH the fear while still not living IN fear. Feeling the fear can help us to make better decisions/choices that affect others around us. Be in the present, stay informed from reliable sources but don’t watch too much news, take breaks, take deep breaths, stay home, use technology to connect with others, get regular sleep, eat consistently, plan for physical activity to help decrease stress hormones (inside your home/yard or isolated areas outside). Remember you are not in this alone! See more

Here in Ventura County... For my clients, if you are struggling during this difficult time, remember I do provide telemedicine services & you can schedule through my on-line Therapy Appointment services. Take care everyone! Lois

Facts, not fear!!!! Stop the panic & hoarding!!!! Your hoarding is preventing others from getting basic necessities!! There is enough to go around if people stop the hoarding! There were no shortages of supplies for anyone last month! Nothing has changed except people giving into irrational fear!!!!