Everyday Wholeness

1-21-21 If at all possible state each opinion as a fear. (Say what you are afraid of, because we are always more willing to give up fears than cherished opinions, even though inside every opinion that is causing a rift there is fear. It lurks there like white sugar inside commercial granola. So read the labels on your opinions)" Hugh Prather (who you may remember from the 1970’s great little book, Notes to Myself) was really big on attitudinal healing. And that’s really wha...Continue reading

1-14-21 Both pictures were taken at one of my favorite places, a marsh near the lake, but with different perspectives based on 2 different seasons. The first picture was the other day, a wintertime walk. They, in their wisdom, have cut down all the beautiful willows along the stream. Perhaps you’re thinking it still looks beautiful; to me everything seems barren and sad because I am seeing with the eyes of memory. Again, it’s all perspective isn’t it? But I also have other ...memories in my head of this place from the summertime, upon which the 2nd photo was taken. It’s one of my joyspots all year round but I particularly love it in summer because of the multitude of birds I usually see, from the majestic bald eagle and great blue heron, to the mid-size hawk or beautiful merganser, to the small and entertaining chickadees. And so even as I see snow and ice and bare willows all around me, I am hearing birdsong, feeling the heat of summer and remembering the icy cold water of my stream plunge. Every present moment carries with it echoes of the past. I had a choice on that day’s walk whether to dwell in bad memories or good ones, and which ones to choose to bring along with me on the walk. In fact, I always have a choice in what I bring along with me in any given moment, as do we all. Our lives are steeped in memories of things that happened to us, that we label either good or bad. I can’t change the pastor can I? I used to define my present based on my childhood and live as a victim to my self-limiting moods, thoughts, feelings and habits that ensued from that, none of which served me. When I chose to stop defining myself according to those memories, I changed my present and somehow my past did change. This is a big thing I’m talking about, and it took dedicated years of focusing on self-love rather than self-hatred until things turned around (isn’t it weird how difficult it can be to focus on self-love? But that’s for another day). And for some of you the wounds go very deep. Please know that I’m not minimizing anything that might have happened to you or telling you not to hold other people accountable for their actions. What I am saying is that, for me, the past changed as I started telling myself a different story and I released the claws of old memory choices. Once I stopped carrying them around and telling myself I was a shit because of it, that I was undeserving and not enough because of it, I was free to create new memories of myself from the bigness of me. That picture of myself was always there within me alongside the other snapshot, just a matter of choice and perspective. Which do you choose? Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net See more

1-11-21 Marshall Rosenberg’s NVC (Nonviolent or compassionate Communication) is a way of living for me, or at least something I always aspire to. Sometimes I fail miserably, (maybe more than sometimes) especially in these Covid days when I seem more upsettable. And in being more upsettable, I am also not as patient or understanding as I would like and I find myself feeling combative in normal, everyday conversations with my loved ones. Marshall teaches to give empathy first, ...then honesty, which means if I want someone to hear what I have to say and have the best possible chance of getting my needs met (and theirs) it’s best to follow that order/suggestion/prescription. That advice is equally true when dealing with myself. Every morning I remind myself how I want to be through the day, specifically in what consciousness I want to express from. When I don’t live up to the standards I set for myself it’s so easy to make it worse and criticize myself. But when I stop right then and there, and instead give myself empahy - put the arms of compassion around myself, I make space for turning that crunkiness into an ally, rather than letting it sabotage me further. Giving myself empathy in the moment means that I accept that I am human, that yes, in that particular instance I acted unconsciously and not at all how I intended to show upAND that I am STILL worthy of love (from myself in this case). I turn failure into growth with unconditional acceptance of my authentic self that in that moment includes crunkiness. To gently admit to myself I am not always perfect in all I say and do is a precious gift I give to myself and a celebration of living from my everyday wholeness. After empathy, honesty comes next. Now, with an open heart I can ask myself, How can I do better? Do I need to make amends? Is there something I’m needing, something that is missing for me in this moment, that I can satisfy in a different, more appropriate, more healthy way? In asking these questions I again turn my acting out into an allyall parts of me working FOR me, not against me. So, join me in this joyful dance of everyday wholeness. Try on empathy and honesty for yourself and see if it serves you, too. We are always worthy of celebration for how far we’ve come, for everything we’ve had to overcome, and for how we show up, and keep showing up, just the way we arenow that’s perfection. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net See more

12-30-20 Stew has often said that he’d like to have a memorial or celebration of life while he’s still around, assuming people had good things to say about him and he’d get to hear it all. Well, I just had that experience as a Christmas present, thanks to my daughter, Ari (which Stew helped her execute). She put out the word to the world at large that I was feeling discouraged and sad and, if it resonated with them, to send her something written up about how I’d made a positi...Continue reading

12-23-30 Happy merry jolly sacred blessed everything, my friends! Some of the holydays of Light have come and gone, some we’re in the midst of, and some are yet to come. Personally, I’m a spiritual mutt and I love celebrating everything. We just did a solstice ceremony where we opened to the Light and the Dark, each being a vital part of the whole whether we are talking about within ourselves or the world at large. As we meditated on each energy, we clearly heard their messag...es. The common themes were our knowing of ourself as the Light, and that it is not gotten by looking outside of ourselves. Completing the ceremony, we then practiced oneness and compassion as we held that healing not only for ourselves but for the world. Whatever your belief system is around this time, I hope you are making time to sit in the silence and discover the beautiful and precious depth of Life within you. And I hope you are also celebrating yourself by fully indulging in that which brings you joy and makes you laugh. My deepest wish for you, for me, and indeed for all of us, is that we give ourselves permission to be our everyday wholeness , our natural and authentic self, and unabashedly present it to the world. And, because we love, accept and appreciate ourselves just as we are, just as we show up, we are also OK sharing ourselves with each other, warts and allthat we know we are more than enough and give ourselves away freely, joyously, like a child feeding a duckthat gentle compassion for ourselves ripples out creating a web of Love interweaving us all. We can unite over our common human needs of wanting to be loved and accepted, to be able to thrive in life, and to contribute to others’ wellbeing. We are thus able to celebrate our differences, too, as they can enrich our lives creating a colorful tapestry for us all to shelter under. We are each such a giftmay we each unwrap that gift in each and every moment. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net See more