W Keith Sutton, PsyD

Tomorrow - Free Online Workshop on Self Harm and Suicide for Parents (and Clinicians too) Anxiety rates for adolescents are on the rise, and so is self-harm and... suicide. Losing a child is a parent’s worst nightmare. Dr. Sutton will explain the potential causes of adolescent anxiety and depression, why some kids self-harm, and factors that can lead to suicide or suicidal behavior. He’ll discuss effective treatments and how parents can help their depressed children overcome their pain. https://cipmarin.org//helping-when-your-child-is-hurting-/

10/10 - Come join the Family Trauma Workshop with Scott Sells, PhD - Association of Family Therapists of Northern California (AFTNC) - Scott will present on his book, Treating the Traumatized Child: A Step-By-Step Family Systems Approach. This approach is one of the only family therapy based treatments for trauma. Come join this one day training for clinicians!

The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself conditioning is a survival tactic. An...d you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you. From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you. From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart. From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave. From all the situations when someone told you we’re in this together or I got you then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when shit got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too. From all the lies and all the betrayals. You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point. Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE. You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right? You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you. #generationaltrauma #ancestraltrauma Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak. So, you don’t trust anyone. And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people. To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable. Never again, you vow. But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall. Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either. Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming. It’s a trauma response. The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed. You are worthy of having support. You are worthy of having true partnership. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of having your heart held. You are worthy to be adored. You are worthy to be cherished. You are worthy to have someone say, You rest. I got this. And actually deliver on that promise. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy. You don’t have to earn it. You don’t have to prove it. You don’t have to bargain for it. You don’t have to beg for it. You are worthy. Worthy. Simply because you exist. I love you. I like you. I life you. Mauri Ora whnau Let’s heal! *Credit: This post is an edited version of an original post by Jamila White. (FB: @inspiredjamila, IG: @inspired.jamila)

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJD91NfM/

Join me on Friday, September 25th from 10-5pm as I lead this CBT training for the Institute for the Advancement of Psychotherapy on Zoom! See the original post below for more details and how to register.

Are you working to understand attachment theory more deeply? Join our panel on intimacy, connection and attachment on Friday July 24 at 12 PM to hear more from Sue Johnson, who specializes in emotionally focused therapy.

Come join me next month on Friday, September 25th on Zoom from 10am-5pm for the Integrative Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) workshop!