Caroline Fogarty, LMFT

About a year ago, I started to notice a little tufted, black and white songbird. I thought it was one type of bird for many months but after spotting it three times today, I did a bit more research. It's called the Black Phoebe, for sure, no doubt. According to the handy dandy Wikipedia, Phoebe comes from Greek mythology and is referred to as "the moon personified". It is also described as "bright, pure and shining". And referring to our Urban dictionary Phoebe is described a...s: "A friend who is always by your side in hard times". The Black Phoebe comes onto the scene of this one's day to day happenings, with a lovely flight of light and dark feathers and a super friendly song. Just like that random but serendipitous call or text from a family member or friend, it course corrects and invigorates. A few months ago when our family experienced the loss of a couple treasured loved ones, it sat calmly on my waist high white fence, quiet and present. I saw it last weekend skootin’ with a friend through Balboa Park on a Bird, apropos. ;) After hearing challenging news reports with a racing mind, it has caught by breath with its winged flight. While savoring tasty food, sharing lunch with a friend, diving deep into a spiritual direction session, offering a hand to someone in need, enjoying a sip of refreshing water or experiencing various personal challenges, it comes on the scene, guaranteed. When I see it, I pause with the comforting reminder that light and dark coexist, bringing a humble acceptance of both delight and despair. It's dark feathers cover it's top half and the white feathers cover it's bottom half. There is a bright song in such a tiny creature and there is brilliance in the flight of its wings. It’s called the moon personified, such a perfect name. If I give notice to it's presence, invite my thoughts to be quieter than its song, it can bring some delight, settling, encouragement and even healing. I asked a teenager who is into biology why he thought I had never seen it before this year, his response was simple, Maybe you didn’t notice it.

This morning, while walking before work, I noticed an eroded cliff, it had a mess of beautiful broken pieces sitting at it's base. It was strikingly beautiful yet undoubtably broken, beyond repair. I imagined what it looked like before it fell apart. And was struck by the reality, that it can't be fixed. What is done, is done. But was surprised by hope in the possibility of future breakdowns being prevented, by strategically placed reinforcements/supports. Some parts of... the cliffs have vegetation that seem to keep it together and other parts concrete slabs which appear to be holding it up. As a nation we can't undo what has been done. But we may be able to prevent future irreversible catastrophes. I remember an old professor, sharing with a class of young therapists that "hurt people, hurt people". It's true. We are all hurting, some, more than others and we hurt others because we're hurting. May our own experiences with brokenness/hurt help us not fear the brokenness/hurt in others but draw us to each other in kindness, in love, in gentleness. May our empathy call us to action. "Not all of us can do great things. But all of us can do small things with great love." Mother Theresa See more

I am excited to share with my FB community a new group being offered for MFT trainees, students and interns. Please take a peak at the flyer for more details and email me to solidify your spot. www.carolinefogartylmft.com