Boys' Institute for Growth / BIG

BIG VIDEO: In keeping with the theme of the last post, here's a video that addresses how the culture at large pushes boys and men to be less emotionally intimate by labeling emotional expression and self-disclosure as feminine or gay. These cultural pressures occur despite clear evidence that 1) close, intimate friendships are the number one factor in determining happiness in humans beings; and 2) to develop such emotionally intimate friendships/relationships, one needs to self-disclose and talk about how they feel about themselves, others, and the world around them. So, the way I see it, the culture is pushing half of the population away from behaviors that are directly linked to emotional and physical health. This doesn't make much sense to me. Take a look:

BIG ARTICLES: I was recently part of a panel discussion at a local private school after watching the film "The Mask You Live In" with a group of parents. Right away, it was striking how many moms and dads were feeling upset by the fact that so many boys and men are still pressured by Western culture and society to wear a mask of masculinity that devalues emotional expression among men and emotional intimacy between men. Thankfully, we have seen two examples of self-disclosure about emotional experiences from two prominent men who are deemed "real men" by our culture: professional athletes. Please read the articles below and show them to your sons. Remember to let them know that talking about feelings and getting help when they become too hard to manage are acts of empowerment for men, not acts of weakness.

BIG ARTICLE: What's one of the first things you do when you wake up each morning? If you're honest with yourself, you'll admit that you check your phone first thing on most mornings. I do. This is how ubiquitous our smartphones have become. They're like a part of us, for better or for worse. Now imagine being a typically moody, insecure, impulsive, and intense pre-teen or teenager trying to navigate his or her way through life with this device as the likely dominant inf...luence (especially socially). Alternatively, picture your adolescent self living in 2017 with a smartphone. What comes to mind? When I do this thought experiment, I don't know whether to be horrified for or jealous of 2017 teens. I vacillate between, "Man, I wish I had all of these cool ways of connecting at my fingertips when I was a teenager" and, "I am so glad I didn't have any of these distractions when I was a teen. I'd be a mess". Turns out, many 2017 teens are reporting more significant emotional struggles compared to teens from previous generations, and it seems as though smartphones and accompanying social media play a significant role. How much more are "iGen" teens struggling and how big of a role does technology and social media play? Read the great article below for more info. I recommend having your teenage sons and daughters read it so you can discuss it with them. See more

BIG FATHER/SON CONVERSATION: Baby Boomer Michael Kimmel, most well-known for his book "Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men", had a sit down with his 18-year-old, Generation Z son, Zachary, and talked about what it means to be a man and how their generations think about and experience masculinity. If Zachary is a typical representative for Gen Z young men, I'm feeling hopeful.

BIG STATISTICS: In a survey of 1,000 Americans and Europeans, researchers at Masculinity Around the World aimed to find out what masculinity looks like in 2017. Click the link below to see what the sample of both men and women reported. The finding I liked the most was the answer from both American and European women to the question, "Which of the following activities is sexy when a man does it?". Click below to find out what the answer is. It will surprise you!