Victoria Fleming Psychotherapy

Yesterday I watched as our community’s spirit came up for a little joy. The children paraded as animals, monsters, and beasts. Some left behind, for a few minutes, the real horrors of the world. Parents and friends gathered together to bask in their joy. It almost felt like normal for a bit, except for the special reverence for the health and happiness of our children that might have otherwise be taken for granted. ... One of the few special things that follows tragedy can be this special awe of our children, friends, and communities. I hope that amidst the rubble of the fires that each of you have had a moment to behold something precious in your life. If the loss is too much and the pain too great, I invite you to reach out for some support. Through the end of the year I am available for free counseling for anyone who lost a home, loved one, pet, or is a First Responder. No one turned away for lack of funds. #sonomastrong

Today is October 24th. Just over two weeks since our beloved Sonoma County was changed forever. I was going to write about how hard it is to get back to normal, but that just didn’t feel right. Of course it is hard and that is because we, myself included, just aren’t ready. Many schools are closed and so much uncertainty is all around. ... What feels just right is to thank the many people have shown their kindness. Isn’t that what community is all about? People are opening up their homes to strangers. Heath care providers are working long hours and so many first responders went to work without homes to go back to. And those are just a few examples. I have heard over and over that Mr. Rogers said that in hard times we should look for the helpers. Times like these have me missing him and his sweaters. I know this is corny, but would you be my neighbor and share your stories about the helpers? #mrrogers #sonomastrong #helpers

Yesterday I watched as our community’s spirit came up for a little joy. The children paraded as animals, monsters, and beasts. Some left behind, for a few minutes, the real horrors of the world. Parents and friends gathered together to bask in their joy. It almost felt like normal for a bit, except for the special reverence for the health and happiness of our children that might have otherwise be taken for granted. ... One of the few special things that follows tragedy can be this special awe of our children, friends, and communities. I hope that amidst the rubble of the fires that each of you have had a moment to behold something precious in your life. If the loss is too much and the pain too great, I invite you to reach out for some support. Through the end of the year I am available for free counseling for anyone who lost a home, loved one, pet, or is a First Responder. No one turned away for lack of funds. #sonomastrong

Last night I was busy getting dinner together and my daughter kept asking me to do things for her. I started to get frustrated because I couldn’t do it all. She noticed this and said,Mama, how are you feeling? I told her I was a little frustrated but that I appreciated her asking about my feelings. ... All of the rest of the interruptions for the rest of dinner time were inquiries about my feelings. It reminded just how essential positive reinforcement is to each of us and that people can be motivated much more by praise than criticism. #positiveparenting

I have had the privilege of working with these amazing and caring health care providers. Tiffany Lai Wilkerson,Janelle Weigel, Robin Lowitz, Patricia Kulawiak, Molly Reed, Erin Mallory, Steve Sheerin, Enrique Sanchez-Mendez, Julie Kaiser, Donna Tully, Kyla Rice and many more.

Today is October 24th. Just over two weeks since our beloved Sonoma County was changed forever. I was going to write about how hard it is to get back to normal, but that just didn’t feel right. Of course it is hard and that is because we, myself included, just aren’t ready. Many schools are closed and so much uncertainty is all around. ... What feels just right is to thank the many people have shown their kindness. Isn’t that what community is all about? People are opening up their homes to strangers. Heath care providers are working long hours and so many first responders went to work without homes to go back to. And those are just a few examples. I have heard over and over that Mr. Rogers said that in hard times we should look for the helpers. Times like these have me missing him and his sweaters. I know this is corny, but would you be my neighbor and share your stories about the helpers? #mrrogers #sonomastrong #helpers

Please don’t give up hope in looking for housing. Let’s come together and get cozy, stretch our spaces and patience and in the process turn neighbors into friends and friends into family.

This disaster has put things in perspective for me and many around me. I find myself more patient in traffic and at the grocery store. I look into the eyes of children to see their resilience and feel grateful to our community. ... Friends are going home if they have homes and people are desperately trying to get homes if they don’t. I still feel guilty for having a home and am trying to do something to heal our town by sharing this experience and listening to people’s stories. All stories and experiences are valid. I am here to listen to yours if that would help. #sonomastrong

Here are some ideas for taking care of yourself in times of intense stress: 1. Call someone supportive. 2. Pick one small thing and do it. ... 3. If you feel the air is clear enough, go outside and feel the mist after the most blessed rain storm of our lives. Make sure to wear a mask. 4. Sit down and read or watch something completely frivolous. I like tutorials on hair braiding for my daughter. 5. Watch a YouTube video of cute animals doing ridiculous things. Pandas are particularly good for this. 6. Turn off the news! 7. Really, turn it off. 8. Post your own ideas to share. 9. Share what you did. Add a picture if you want. I’ll tell you what I did later today. 10. Share this post to help our community take a breath and be our best. #theloveintheairisthickerthanthesmoke #sonomastrong

I have heard from many people that they feel guilty that they are having a hard time even though they haven’t lost their home. It is really normal to struggle in the face of such a big loss even if you don’t have as much damage as someone else. The situation both strains us and brings us together. No feelings are wrong. You are not alone. ... #sonomastrong

Hi Friends, This week I am re-opening my psychotherapy practice in Santa Rosa as a safe space to talk about the fires. Free of charge through the end of the year, I will see First Responders and anyone who lost a home or a loved one (including pets). ... As long as I have availability, no one will be turned away for lack of funds. Skype/FaceTime are also available for those unable to return to Santa Rosa at this time. Call or text at 707-478-2947. Email [email protected] Please share so that I can serve our neighbors in need. Warmly, Victoria Fleming

My hope for all of us today is that when we go out into the world we remember that each of us is someone's child, friend or parent. Perhaps this will allow us to be a little more patient with others and ourselves.

It is much harder to be creative, cope with challenges and enjoy life when you are tired. If you can't nap, try taking a few minutes to relax over a cup of tea. I find sitting in the car for a few minutes in between errands is the easiest way to take a break. ... What are your creative ways to decompress?

This is good inspiration to exercise: http://nyti.ms/1mHIPvP

This sounds like a good idea... http://www.npr.org//recovery-coach-helps-an-addict-resist-