Ventura Community Counseling

In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth? - Carl Rogers (founder of Client-Centered Therapy)

Do you feel anxious in groups or social settings? Find out more at http://venturacommunitycounseling.com//what-is-separation/

Each Friday, we are answering questions about relationships! See this week’s entry and response below: Writer: I am interested in having my question about relationships answered. How does one not let a spouse with wildly fluctuating moods not effect their own life? If my spouse decides to shift moods it can drain all my energy in an instant, thus leaving me angry and frustrated along with a sense of resentment and hostility towards him Lexi Heinzer M.A. IMF#100931: It sounds ...like you are a person who gains your own energy from other’s energy- thus making it even more difficult to not allow your spouse’s mood to negatively affect you. Just as your spouse does not control your mood, you do not control his but you both influence them. Think of it as a cycle: Read the rest of the post here: http://venturacommunitycounseling.com//relationship-friday/

This Friday, Ventura Community Counseling introduces our relationship Q&A feature! Send us in any relationship questions that you may have this week, and they will likely be answered and featured anonymously on our post Friday! Ask what comes to mind, what you’ve been wanting to ask a therapist, or something for a friend! Send your question in a direct message rather than a comment, so we can ensure your privacy. Please note, these questions will be answered by an Associate ...Marriage Family Therapist with a specialized training in Gottman Method Couple’s Therapy. This does not substitute as therapy. The Q&A section will be educational, and should not be thought of as clinical advice. If you are having a crisis, please call 911 or a hotline. If you are seeking therapy, give us a call and we will set you up with a consultation with one of our therapists! See more

Here is a great visual of The Four Horsemen in a marriage. The Gottman method of couples therapy began in the 1970’s, and is all research based on what makes relationships fail or succeed. The Four Horsemen (Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling) are the top four predictors of divorce. Take a look at this visual and self examine if you are doing any of these. If so, check out the the other side for tips on how to gently stop and begin making small improvements for your relationship. Call Ventura Community Counseling to schedule your first therapy session. Remember, making the healthiness of your relationship a priority will drastically improve your overall happiness, physical health, emotional health, and much more!

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. - Helen Keller

Thomas Fire. When you look at the these words, what are the first things that come to do your mind? Fear, sadness, devastation, disbelief, somberness, loss of words, disconnect, sleep disturbance, community, family distress, financial strains, powerless, inconsistency, change to routine.... If any of those came to your mind, please understand that these are typical responses to traumas such as natural disasters. Many traumas that occur are pressured to remain secrets which forces individuals to try to get through it on their own but The Thomas Fire didn’t just affect one person or one family, it affected an entire community. Depending on the lens you choose to adapt, this could be a good or bad thing. Bad: Thousands of people were displaced and traumatized. Good: Thousands of people can now relate to one another and connect on a deeper level. Social support is a resilience factor that will limit psychological distress after a natural disaster occurs. Pushing yourself to engage with your community, interacting with your friends, visiting with family, sharing fire stories with others, attending therapy, etc. These activities will be some one of the most crucial things that you can do for your mental well being in recovery. Read the rest of this post here: http://venturacommunitycounseling.com/2017//20/thomas-fire/