The Relationship Center

It was our nineteenth or twentieth wedding anniversary and we were in Maui staying at the beautiful Aston Mahana in Honakaa on the west side just north of Kaanapali. The problem was: I was depressed. We were in counseling back home and I was going through a spiritual and emotional struggle. I had just bought a business, which meant leaving behind my dream of a career in music.... http://davenan.com/depressed-in-maui/

Looking at the date I first wrote this, it must have been as the mid-term elections were heating up. I feel this is even more relevant right now. I could easily... write another post or two about this subject. As a gentle reminder, might I suggest we first do a self-examination before we start focusing on other people's attitudes. See more

Marriage is a big decision!

Over the years I have often talked about balancing the kinds of relationships that we are exposed to as we move through our daily life. Some relationships we have a lot of control over and others less so. In our work life, many of the relationships are predetermined and we take them as they come, making decisions about how emotionally close we get on the fly. [ 619 more words ] https://davenan.com/do-you-have-toxic-people-in-your-life/

A repost from 2012

I have been thinking about what a gift from God it is to have a job and work to do. I have heard the pain expressed by people who have lost their jobs or have become unable to do the work they used to do. It is so unfortunate that many see work as a burden instead. I know that not all work is fulfilling. [ 589 more words ] http://davenan.com/the-ultimate-gift/

I am going to write an opinion today. No, not political (heaven forbid), but an observation of what I believe largely leads to depression in many people: the lack or loss of control. It is probably pretty obvious, actually, when viewed through the lens of the grief process. In order to deal with obstacles, we will go to one or more coping mechanisms. [ 518 more words ] http://davenan.com/become-an-expert-at-reframing/

OK, so I am repenting. Every year I make my birthday hard for Nan. She asks me what I want for my birthday and I answer with something really unhelpful. When I was young, I would ask for something way above our paychecks. I want a Yamaha grand piano or I want a new car. Not going to happen. At least not until we get above minimum wage earning. [ 539 more words ] http://davenan.com/they-say-its-your-birthday/

One of the most annoying things that most of us has had to adjust to is learning how to do things virtually. As counselors we had already been using a video platform for some appointments for quite a while before the pandemic hit. But what changed was most of those calls had been made from our office at church which had up-to-date equipment and a fast internet connection, not to mention an IT person on premises. [ 680 more words ] http://davenan.com/technically-ready/

One of the things that I have been pondering for a few weeks now is a pearl that Tom, one of our senior pastors wrote to our staff. He said this: The first job of a leader is to define reality. It reminded me of a conversation in the old TV series The Bill Cosby Show between one of Dr. Huxtable’s kids and him. [ 593 more words ] http://davenan.com/the-first-job-of-a-leader/

I want to start out right from the beginning and answer this question. No, this is not the new normal. This is the new temporary normal. It is new for sure. We have not been through this particular kind of situation before. But we have never had the same kind of tools at our disposal before, either. We can debate all day long if how we have addressed the current crisis has been the most wise or effective. [ 702 more words ] http://davenan.com/is-this-the-new-normal/

History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. Ecclesiastes 1:9 There is a story of two budding authors who went into a library for the first time. As they walked through the library they were both amazed. The first author exclaimed Wow, there are hundreds of thousands of books here. What the world doesn’t need is another book. The second author, after thinking for a moment or two declared, Astonishing! [ 767 more words ] http://davenan.com/why-i-write-especially-now/

I am thinking through the challenges of conducting our lives from behind the walls of physical isolation. I know that for some the need to sequester is seen somewhat as a vacation. These would be the introverts that are financially stable or have jobs that can be performed from home. It might be annoying or inconvenient for them, but not emotionally distressing. [ 514 more words ] http://davenan.com/facing-the-challenges/