Tale Me Not

I work during the day and my sweet boyfriend John works the evening shift at the local diner. So most afternoons I go through my nightly routine alone. I shower, go to bed and wait for him to come home to hold me. My boyfriend works nights at the diner There I am trying to sleep on my satin sheets, alone, missing my baby’s arms. I hear the door creak open and slam shut. Must have been a rough night for tips. I’m too tired to open my eyes, let alone get out of bed. Honey! Com...e cuddle. I tell him coyly. I hear his heavy steps enter the room. I smile to myself as I feel the bed sink where he sits and lays down next to me. He wraps his arms around me like always. I kiss his arm, he kisses my shoulders. He begins stroking my hair and I giggle to myself. Just then my phone dings and I get a text. I squint as I the I look at the bright white screen, hardly able to read it until my eyes adjust Hey, there’s a party of 12 here tonight and they’re taking forever. I probably won’t be home for 45 more minutes but I’ll get your favorite Chinese place on the way home, deal? Xoxo -John -mrs_steaks

A secret for a happy married life. Once there was a man and woman married for 45 years. During this time of their life they shared everything and kept no secrets from each other except for one... Old lady used to keep a shoe box and told her husband not to open it or ask about it. All these years they never thought or talked about boxes. One day the lady got very sick and the doctor said that she's not going to recover...... After knowing this lady decided that it's time to let her husband know what's in the box . She asked her husband to bring a box to her bedside... When husband opened the box he found that there were two crocheted dolls and a stack of money worth 50000 Rs. Seeing this he got curious and asked her about the content... She said , "when we were about to be married. My grandmother told never to argue- and if i ever get angry after our fight then i should keep quiet and just crochet a doll." Old man was so moved that tears came out of his eyes. He was happy to see that there were only two crochet dolls, which means his wife was angry only two times during the whole time of loving and living with him... Then he said , "Dear, that explains dolls but what about all the money in the box?where did it come from?" "Oh" , she smiled and said , "that's the money i made from selling dolls...!!" -Jaydip Prajapati

Don't Panic Have A Wonderful Weekend! An unemployed engineer graduate was looking out for a suitable job in his stream. He attended several exams and many personal interviews, only to be rejected.... Being fed up after so many months of his job hunt, he decided to get into any job that can satisfy his food and daily needs.He visited a circus group and asked for a job. But the ownersaid that there wasn't any job for his education level. Also he said that there is a vacancy to act as a monkey and perform funny actions. The unemployed youth accepted the offer since he can at least afford his daily food. So he dressed up as a monkey and entertained the audience. One day while he was performing the monkey skills, he accidentally fell into the lion's ring. Everyone was shocked as the monkey fell into lion's ring. No one knew that he was a man dressed up as a monkey. The man himself wasdreadful and feared for his life. He felt pity for himself as he going to be a victim of unemployment. The lion came closer to him but didn't attack. He was surprised. The lion whispered, ( Hey Mr Gupta, don't panic, It's me, your senior, computer science, Vinod Sharma) --Subhash Singha

Keep laughing and smiling... During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"... Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?" Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?" Johnny said: "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

In a Store a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter. The salesperson, a young boy, said that only 1kg packs were available in the Store, but the man insisted on buying only 1/2 kg. So the boy went inside to the manager's room and said "An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter".... To his surprise, the customer was standing right behind him. So the boy added immediately, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half". After the customer left, the manager said "You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?" To this the boy said, "I come from Brazil. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players!" The manager replied coldly, "My wife is also from Brazil". The boy asked excitedly, "Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?" Moral:- Presence of mind helps, Never Panic,There's always a solution! By Askar Imran

John and David were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking, they passed the hospital swimming pool and John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in and saved him, swimming to the bottom of the pool and pulling John out. When the medical director came to know of David's heroic act he immediately ordered that David be discharged from the hospital as he now considered him to be OK. The doctor... said, "David, we have good news and bad news for you! The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your sanity. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient, you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient that you saved hung himself in the bathroom and died after all." David replied, "Doctor, John didn't hang himself. I hung him there to dry." -Suraj Kumar

Wolf Girls Growing up, everyone knows at least one wolf kid. They’re the ones who run around the playground on all fours, howling and growling while the rest of the class is playing tag. They’re a classic type of weird kid, but not the kind you really need to worry about . Usually at some point they grow out of it and start pouring their energy into either being really good at art or science, and eventually they either graduate into being zoologists or furries.... Sadly this was not the case for the Pack at Remus’ Landing Elementary school; who somehow managed to turn themselves into an actual pack of wolves. The girls had found the instructions for how to do it somewhere on the internet, and at first, it was all of their dreams come true. Being a wolf is much simpler and easier than being a person after all, especially if you plan on only doing it for short bursts, like the girls had been. Even so, the novelty quickly wore off after they started to get hungry. The only issue was that once you’ve become a wolf, it’s much much harder to hold onto things you knew as a human, like how to perform rituals. Unfortunately there’s also a very steep learning curve to catching deer on foot, even as a wolf, and none of the girls managed to meet it. After a few days of not eating anything outside of roadkill, it didn’t take a lot of encouragement for them to start picking off their former classmates while they were walking home from school. -theotherghostgirl

Woman walks into a butchery shop just before closing time and asks, "Do you still have chicken?" The butcher opens his deep freezer, takes out his only chicken left and puts it on the weighing scale. It weighs 1.5 kg. The woman looks at the chicken and at the scale and asked, "Do you have one that's a bit bigger than this one?"... The butcher puts his only chicken back into the freezer, and then takes it out again. But this time when he puts it on the scale, he craftily keeps his thumb on the scale pan. And the scale now shows 2 kg. "That's wonderful," said the woman. "I'll take both of them, please!" In a situation like this, you realize at once that your integrity and reputation are firmly on the line. Your wisdom becomes foolishness, and your cunningness becomes stupidity. Until now the butcher has his head inside the big deep freezer, looking for the first chicken. *Remember:* 1. Always tell the truth, and you will be free!!! 2. A good name is better than riches. 3. Live to express yourself, and not to impress others.

Accidental Suicide Sometimes you just make bad decisions, you know? Everybody does. It doesn’t mean you’re stupid or anything; it just means you made a bad decisionthat’s all. It’s sort of like lying. Everybody liesand I don’t mean that in a pejorative sense. In fact, sometimes lies are necessary for the greater good, because telling the truth might cause serious harm. But other times, you can tell a lie so big that it changes everythingforever.... In my case, I kind of see those two things as part of a greater whole. I told my wife a huge lie before we were married. I told her that I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, when in truth I didn’t know her that well but was very interested in how successful her father’s business was. The combination of those things led to me making a really bad decisionwe got on a plane and flew to Vegas and got married by an Elvis impersonator. Stupidjust stupid. I only discovered weeks later how well her father had tied up the moneyeven my wife’s trust fund. It was impenetrable. If only I would’ve taken a little more time and done the proper due diligence, I probably would’ve figured that out. Hell, if I would’ve asked her, she probably would’ve told me. But nooo! I thought I was being coy by not asking those kinds of questions and tipping her off, by instead merely sneaking around and going through her smartphone and her banking information. Motivated by my frustration, I came up with another plan. We could both take out life insurance policies, not only for our protection, but for the protection of our future family. Big amounts, too, because it wouldn’t be right to shortchange little Jill or Charles or whatever names we chose. We needed to do it for their sake. Of course she agreed. Why wouldn’t she? From her perspective I was simply being a loving husband. Effecting the death, thoughthat was another matter. I mean, it’s one thing to speculate about it, but it’s something else entirely to actually take someone’s life. I didn’t know if I had it in me. Turns out I had a friend who was fairly well-connected to the underworld. Imagine that. He hooked me up with a hitman who was more than willing to perform the service I requiredfor a sizable fee, of course. No matterI gladly paid the man, anticipating my soon-to-be-realized seven-figure payday. I found it odd when he showed up at my house some days later; I figured maybe he wanted to report to me that the deed was done but didn’t want to risk doing it over the phone. I invited him in and offered him a drink, which he refused. Then, oddly, he unholstered his pistol and cocked it. What are you doing? I inquired, more than a little alarmed. He shrugged. She paid more. by Eithereyether

The Mice in Council A cat was chasing all the mice, and eating all the ones she could get. The mice called a great meeting to try and think of some way of making themselves safe from the cat. The meeting lasted a long time. Many ideas were put forward by the mice at the council, but none of them seemed any good. Finally, one bright young mouse stepped forward. I‘ve got it... he said excitedly. The reason why the cat keeps catching us is because we can hear her coming. Isn‘t that right? Of course it is said another mouse. That doesn‘t really help us though. I haven‘t finished yet! What we need is something to warn us that the cat is coming. Well I know what to do we must tie a bell round the cat‘s neck! That way, every time the cat comes near us we will hear the bell tinkling and have time to hide. What a good idea! squeaked all the other mice. Well done! You have solved all our problems all we have to do is find a bell a tie it around the cat‘s neck! The other mice started to cheer and squeal excitedly. But then a very old and very wise mouse said: just a minute! It may be a good idea but tell me this, is anyone here willing to risk his life by going up to the cat and putting the bell around her neck? No one answered. In a moment, all of the mice had left the meeting and the room was empty. No one was prepared to put the bell on the cat. It‘s no use having bright ideas unless we are willing to put them into practice.

Brigor came from a wealthy family, He's gentle, and likely to do things, and bring happiness to others. Everything is fine, but suddenly changes happened, for a moment, his Mom left him for another man while his Dad, is having a secret affair with a lot of women. Brigor started rebelling, he doesn't obey anyone, or accept normal standards of behaviour. He's doing everything in an opposite ways.... After finishing senior highschool, he left everything including his family. He started a new life and a new character. He trusts no one, and cared for no one, but the only man who helped him grow Mr. Desento, a 60 years old business tycoon. His own business grew up, He became a well-known businessman slash engineer, and He became a high person who deserves to be admired by others. He is lofty, full of himself, ruthless, calloused, and not showing any concern about the others suffering, either He enjoys watching them suffer. But is there a way to change his behavior? Is there anyone who can help him from drowning into darkness? Will there be a light in his rayless days? Will he regain his good side? Will there be someone who can let him feel he is loved? Can someone save him? Or he'll just get worst?

A Poop Story Everyone at least once in their life has run into situations which were embarrassing. My worst embarrassing moment occurred when I was a little kid. I was just 9 years old working my way up to adulthood. It has been 13 years now and I haven't shared this story with anyone, I have tried very hard to flush this memory down the toilet but somehow it always figures out a way to hound me back. So I have made a decision to come clean and tell the truth and shame the de...Continue reading

Honesty is a very important thing, for a few reasons. First, people will notice it, and you will get a reputation for honesty, and that's probably going to help you more than telling the truth about something negative will hurt you; when people trust you, they're likely to be more forgiving for something that's your fault, because they know you recognize it as a problem. Second, being trusted has plenty of other benefits; people like you more in general, and are more willing... to be honest with you in turn. Third, when it becomes absolutely necessary for you to lie about something, if it happens at all, you're more likely to be believed. In short, if you sweep dirt under the rug all the time, it's going to be obvious if you ever have to move the rug. If you really clean it up, then you have more practice keeping things clean, and then when that thing that's too big to hide comes along, you're better prepared to deal with it. Do you agree? -Lilith Piper MacKinnon