Thursdays

REMOVING THREATS TO SOBRIETY . . . except when to do so would injure them or others. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59... Step Nine restores in me a feeling of belonging, not only to the human race but also to the everyday world. First, the Step makes me leave the safety of A.A., so that I may deal with non-A.A. people "out there," on their terms, not mine. It is a frightening but necessary action if I am to get back into life. Second, Step Nine allows me to remove threats to my sobriety by healing past relationships. Step Nine points the way to a more serene sobriety by letting me clear away past wreckage, lest it bring me down.

RECONSTRUCTION Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. . . . ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 83... The reconstruction of my life is the prime goal in my recovery as I avoid taking that first drink, one day at a time. The task is most successfully accomplished by working the Steps of our Fellowship. The spiritual life is not a theory; it works, but I have to live it. Step Two started me on my journey to develop a spiritual life; Step Nine allows me to move into the final phase of the initial Steps which taught me how to live a spiritual life. Without the guidance and strength of a Higher Power, it would be impossible to proceed through the various stages of reconstruction. I realize that God works for me and through me. Proof comes to me when I realize that God did for me what I could not do for myself, by removing that gnawing compulsion to drink. I must continue daily to seek God's guidance. He grants me a daily reprieve and will provide the power I need for reconstruction.

We feel a man is unthinking when he says sobriety is enough. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 82 When I reflect on Step Nine, I see that physical sobriety must be enough for me. I need to remember the hopelessness I felt before I found sobriety, and how I was willing to go to any lengths for it. Physical sobriety is not enough for those around me, however, since I must see that God's gift is used to build a new life for my family and loved ones. Just as importantly, I must be avail...able to help others who want the A.A. way of life. I ask God to help me share the gift of sobriety so that its benefits may be shown to those I know and love.

FINDING "A REASON TO BELIEVE" The willingness to grow is the essence of all spiritual development. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 171... A line from a song goes, ". . . and I look to find a reason to believe . . ." It reminds me that at one time I was not able to find a reason to believe that my life was all right. Even though my life had been saved by my coming to A.A., three months later I went out and drank again. Someone told me: "You don't have to believe. Aren't you willing to believe that there is a reason for your life, even though you may not know yourself what that reason is, or that you may not sometimes know the right way to behave?" When I saw how willing I was to believe there was a reason for my life, then I could start to work on the Steps. Now when I begin with, "I am willing. . . ," I am using the key that leads to action, honesty, and an openness to a Higher Power moving through my life.

WILLINGNESS TO GROW If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 8... Sobriety fills the painful "hole in the soul" that my alcoholism created. Often I feel so physically well that I believe my work is done. However, joy is not just the absence of pain; it is the gift of continued spiritual awakening. Joy comes from ongoing and active study, as well as application of the principles of recovery in my everyday life, and from sharing that experience with others. My Higher Power presents many opportunities for deeper spiritual awakening. I need only to bring into my recovery the willingness to grow. Today I am ready to grow.

A UNIQUE PROGRAM Alcoholics Anonymous will never have a professional class. We have gained some understanding of the ancient words "Freely ye have received, freely give." We have discovered that at the point of professionalism, money and spirituality do not mix. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 166... I believe that Alcoholics Anonymous stands alone in the treatment of alcoholism because it is based solely on the principle of one alcoholic sharing with another alcoholic. This is what makes the program unique. When I decided that I wanted to stay sober, I called a woman who I knew was a sober member of A.A., and she carried the message of Alcoholics Anonymous to me. She received no monetary compensation, but rather was paid by staying sober another day herself. Today I could ask for no payment other than another day free from alcohol, so in that respect, I am generously paid for my labor.

LIGHTENING THE BURDEN Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. . . . the dark past is . . . the key to life and happiness for others. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124... Since I have been sober, I have been healed of many pains: deceiving my partner, deserting my best friend, and spoiling my mother's hopes for my life. In each case someone in the program told me of a similar problem, and I was able to share what happened to me. When my story was told, both of us got up with lighter hearts.

CENTERING OUR THOUGHTS When World War II broke out, our A.A. dependence on a Higher Power had its first major test. A.A.'s entered the services and were scattered all over the world. Would they be able to take the discipline, stand up under fire, and endure . . . ? AS BILL SEES IT, p. 200... I will center my thoughts on a Higher Power. I will surrender all to this power within me. I will become a soldier for this power, feeling the might of the spiritual army as it exists in my life today. I will allow a wave of spiritual union to connect me through my gratitude, obedience and discipline to this Higher Power. Let me allow this power to lead me through the orders of the day. May the steps I take today strengthen my words and deeds, may I know that the message I carry is mine to share, given freely by this power greater than myself.

GIVING IT AWAY Though they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that motive became secondary. It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 159... Those words, for me, refer to a transference of power, through which God, as I understand Him, enters my life. Through prayer and meditation, I open channels, then I establish and improve my conscious contact with God. Through action I then receive the power I need to maintain my sobriety each day. By maintaining my spiritual condition, by giving away what has been so freely given to me, I am granted a daily reprieve.

THE GIFT OF BONDING Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 63... Many times in my alcoholic state, I drank to establish a bond between myself and others, but I succeeded only in establishing the bondage of alcoholic loneliness. Through the A.A. way of life, I have received the gift of bondingwith those who were there before me, with those who are there now, and with those yet to come. For this gracious gift from God, I am forever grateful.

A RIDDLE THAT WORKS It may be possible to find explanations of spiritual experiences such as ours, but I have often tried to explain my own and have succeeded only in giving the story of it. I know the feeling it gave me and the results it has brought, but I realize I may never fully understand its deeper why and how. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 313... I had a profound spiritual experience during an open A.A. meeting, which led me to blurt out, "I'm an alcoholic!" I have not had a drink since that day. I can tell you the words I heard just prior to my admission, and how those words affected me, but as to why it happened, I do not know. I believe a power greater than myself chose me to recover, yet I do not know why. I try not to worry or wonder about what I do not yet know; instead, I trust that if I continue to work the Steps, practice the A.A. principles in my life, and share my story, I will be guided lovingly toward a deep and mature spirituality in which more will be revealed to me. For the time being, it is a gift for me to trust God, work the Steps and help others.

BRINGING THE MESSAGE HOME Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A. group? TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp.111-12... My family members suffer from the effects of my disease. Loving and accepting them as they arejust as I love and accept A.A. membersfosters a return of love, tolerance and harmony to my life. Using common courtesy and respecting others' personal boundaries are necessary practices for all areas of my life.