Dr. Cat Meyer, LMFT

Onetwothree I counted the seconds of silence under the black silk tie that blinded me from the scene. My body on high alert to to every movement + every sound in the space. I dare not fidget ‘else I miss anything. Fingertips ran up the base of my head, clenching around a handful of hair + tugging my head backward.... Wet breath on my ear, as whispered profanity set the tone like a spell. I am captive. A ragdoll. Limp + malleable to whatever penance I deserved. Goosebumps rose on my arms, delighting in the praise. I wanted nothing more than to please him. Make him feel like I was his favorite pupil to whatever it was that I was about to learn here. In one hand, he brushed the soft rope down along my jaw line to tilt my chin up, meeting his loving gaze. Tonight, you’ll do whatever I tell you, but not because you don’t want to. But because I own you + I know what’s best for you. Commonly, the erotic traditions of Tantra + BDSM are viewed as wildly different, embodying two ends of the light + dark spectrum respectively. Yet, many elements across both traditions are actually quite similar + when merged together can amplify our erotic + spiritual potential. Thursday I am teaching an hour-long class, in which we will explore the traditions of Tantra + BDSM to understand how they can serve as compliments to one another in transmuting sexual shame, heightening our senses, + deepening our intimate connection with ourselves, our lovers, + the divine. This class will leave you with the knowledge of reaching greater presence, pleasure, + higher states of consciousness through both your darker + lighter expressions. Wanna join? Tickets for the CREATE festival on sale at thecreatecommunity.com @thecreatecommunity Link in bio. Use promo code: DRCAT Excerpts above from my very own episodes 12 + 21 of @eroticallywasted podcast @ivanov.ph #tantra #bdsm #letsgetkinky #sacredsexuality #bodylove #iownyou #youaremine

Transfiguration of a person or situation is to glorify or exalt its highest aspect. It is seeing the divine in any form she takes. Imagine how thistransforms the way we show up in sex? When in adoration + honor of this perfectly designed being that we both are, how we surrender into worship both giving + receiving. The challenge lies in the program to be critical about our own bodies + selves. ... We have been told that to pointing out our own flaws is humility, albeit a false sense of it. We have practiced picking ourselves a part in front of others, so we we connect as a group. And as a result we contract under the pleasurable touch of another; reject their compliments of us; hide our bodies; turn off our own attraction or arousal towards another to be safe. Transfiguration is one of the most powerful tantric practices that we can embody for own selves + that of our lovers + others. When I was in Tulum + having a more challenging morning, I set myself up in front of the full length mirror + danced for me. I caught my own eyes + seduced the fuck out of myself. Crawling on the floor, circling my hips, touching my own reflection, mentally worshipping the exquisiteness of my own being. (I can only imagine what was going through my friend’s head when he walked in on me, sippin’ his tea, watching me passionately wiggling around on the floor) And what transpired from this practice was expansiveness, groundedness, appreciation, self-love that carried through the rest of the day. I became much more open + able to meet every situation of the day with more ease + giggles. Not that the situations became less of an obstacle, but that my ability to be open + creative became more accessible. Transfiguration can be a formal practice, or can simply be holding the eye gaze of a lover + mentally showering them with love + adoration as you do. The petty annoyances fall away. Our orgasms become more expansive. We find ourselves making love to the divine. And what is more beautiful + liberating than that? @lynleyeilers #transfiguration #tantricpractice #youaredivine #perfection #mirrorwork

Attachment theory has become a trendy topic in the self-development world. I see profiles post small squares describing the characteristics of individual attachment strategies + in the comments below people expressing OMG THIS IS SO ME! There is power in being able to recognize our own patterns + call it something. At the same time it can become a narrative that we attach to, making it difficult to grow beyond it. I am often asked if we can change our attachment strategies... to which they are referring to secure, insecure-dismissive, insecure-preoccupied, insecure-fearful-avoidant. The truth of it is complicated. For starters, attachment is related to the way our nervous system was developed in early stages of life to optimize our survival + safety both physically + emotionally. Learning skills to regulate your own nervous system when it kicks into fight/flight/freeze/appease mode, as well as, learning to let others comfort + co-regulate you, too, helps recondition you + give you more tools than simply reverting to the same childhood tools that may not be conducive for healthy adult intimacy. Second, we develop different attachment styles with different people. You had a different attachment with your mom than you did with your dad or primary caregiver. So no, majority of you are NOT anxious-avoidant like you think you are from self-diagnosing on IG or pop psych books on attachment. BUT you do fall on a spectrum ranging from avoidant to anxious ways of navigating relationship challenges that can change depending on who you are in relationship with + how secure you have become with yourself. Third, there is what is called learned secure attachment which is developed over gaining the evidence from relationships throughout our life that would have rewritten the script that we cannot get our needs met. Meaningful contact with friends, teachers, therapists, mentors, lovers, relatives who can empathically resonate + securely bond with us can all assist us in adjusting our attachment style towards becoming more secure. Fourth, By making sense of our life story + writing a coherent narrative of our past experiences+ how it affects us today,

I started my new year in the desert of Joshua Tree with a few dear friends. Every time I journey into the desert, I feel my nervous system settle as I melt into the most raw + undone expression of myself. No make-up, no working out, onesies + wearing the same fucking oversized shirt + leg warmers three days in a row, kind of undone. My hair smelled like smoke from our fire pit for days + I didn’t give a fuck. Moments of letting out screams of pleasure, digging my hands in t...he earth, running around naked... In a world that can be over-produced, from photo filters to edits of our texts + injections to different parts of our bodies for emphasis, how important it is to just surrender to the wild, raw, + undone versions of ourselves. I’m not saying, don’t do these things. Sometimes they can be fun + feel really good + lighten us when we do. What I’m suggesting is for us to have dedicated space in which we do let it all go. The archetype of the Wild Woman or Man. Uninhibited + liberated from anything that would prevent them from dropping into the deepest layer of no fuck. Meeting ourselves fully, that we may claim ourselves fully this being that we are. We wonder why we don’t have that love that satisfies our soul, That career that ignites the fire within, The life that we cannot wait to wake up to every morning And perhaps there is a part of us that still we reject. We ask for something or someone then to hold it, love it, nourish it, + yet we might discover an undercurrent of prevention. They cannot love this part or this part. If they discover I am this, too, they will not want to stay. Unfortunately, we are already making up their minds for them, rather than giving them the opportunity to make it up for themselves. The continuation of this operation will never reveal evidence to the contrary + we have already put a cap on the potential of depth in being met. So this new year, I dedicate to even more rawness, realness, + becoming undone. My word for 2021: Super Abundance. To get what you want, you have to want what you have. What is your word for this year? #newyear #2021dontletmedown #raw #real #undone #wildwoman #wilderness #letgo #surrender

When you recognize how precious you are, You become discerning + assertive towards the type of people + their behavior toward you. Creating spaciousness becomes an act of nourishment, rather than one of selfishness. Real talk: if there is one thing I’m good at, it’s communication. ... No I was not born with words eloquently streaming from my mouth, nor were boundary setting something that was present in my growing up. It was something I worked on. From people pleasing + scarcity mentality to compassionate no’s. This has helped me create more of the life + love that I want + believe I am deserving of. My newsletter goes out on Thursday with verbal prompts to help you achieve this for yourself. Especially during this time, we need to remember our time + energy is precious, just like you. Sign up for the newsletter through the link in my bio or SexLoveYoga.com @oh_kristinka #boundarybadass #loveyourself #spaciousness #youdeservebetter

Let's be honest, sex can be a challenging conversation to have, and yet it is something we're all curious about and affected by. In In.Body SEXploration, we dive into real + honest conversations around sex. In this safe container, you have the opportunity to explore taboo topics, vulnerable shares, and unique challenges that may be inhibiting you from being fully expressed and feeling fully empowered in your own sacred sexuality. Now that it’s the end of the year, I’ve been... reflecting on this 2020 + who I have become over this time. I know many of you are in the same reflective process. When we are forced to surrender into our own spaces for long periods of time, we get the privilege to see what is there...and it’s not always what we’d like it to be. So perhaps in this time of reflection, you’ve decided that you’d like to step into the next stage + expanded version of yourself. I made that decision, too. Always a student + finding the balance of self-development + letting go to just play + have fun. If this is still on your radar to start + you haven’t quite found the right people you’d want to work with. I invite you to take a look at @thecreatecommunity that I am one of the core facilitators for the membership school. Here I teach In.body Sexploration + have really enjoyed myself over the months watching people’s expansion in their sex + love lives. This is truly my highest pleasure + excitement. What’s even more special about what we’ve created here is that each group session is a laser focus on the individual’s goals + progressions in the topic of study. So you’re not just in a room of randoms, but you get space to be heard + worked with by me + the other world-class facilitators teaching everything from energetic mastery, gene keys, astrological wisdom, mental + spiritual liberation, + business empire building. Your growth happens across multiple dimensions + not just one. AND we have an upcoming online retreat happening mid-December (details coming this week) that you’d get FREE access to if you’re a member or you can purchase a ticket. Wanna join our school? Use code: DRCAT for $75 off Interested in the retreat? Put a below

And then the reality of the situation hit. He knew he had to grow. But it wasn’t with me that he wanted to go on that journey with. So I let go. .... . . . . We cannot stay tethered to something that needs to pass onward. No one can be our purpose in this world. Otherwise we are left leaking energy + distracting from our own inner work + purpose. It’s the end of the year...who or what are you letting go? @rwpho #newyear #lettingo #letsgrow #selflove #loveyourself #lethimgo #lethergo

SX. Good sx is not linear. It is like a coloring sheet with multiple shades of crayon scribbled all over + outside the lines. Thin lines. Dotted lines. Lines that barely leave a trace ... And lines that are so bold the crayon nearly broke. In other words, good sx is felt + is moved by this feeling. It is not a race through the stages of arousal to meet the end point of orgasm + be done, Nor is it a neatly packaged performance following within the lines that are socially idealized. No. It is messy. It is loud. It is soft. It is a manifestation of our most authentic expression When we surrender to it. Allowing for moments of action followed by moments of eye gazing followed by moments of laughter + weeping. Moments of experimentation followed by moments of sheer passion followed by inaction followed by role reversal followed by reflection. Good sx may not have an orga$m Good sx may not be penetrative Good sx may not be high energy Good sx may not be long. But it is the manifestation of your desires + needs voiced. A co-written song between you + your lover(s). The primal expression of who you are. Scribbled all across each page of your book. @milkformycoconut #sexeducation #betterloving #makelovenotwar #eroticallywasted

See these lines? Stripes of a tiger. Fierce + Majestic. Wild + Unrefined. I am Queen. ... Divine in my own design. Saying Adios to #Tulum today. I wish I could say it was all easy + relaxing, but TBR there were challenges in technology. There were lessons on letting others support me. There was the teaching to just let go + surrender to what was present rather than chase or try to make an experience happen. Moments of wanting my body to feel different + rather than making it wrong, letting it set my pace. Moments of wanting to feel rooted amid the transitions + creating the rootedness in my self. Sometimes we don’t get the trip we hoped for, but rather get the trip we needed. As I step back into LA where life is even more locked down, I enter the integration period. Setting lessons into the routine of home is one of the most challenging, as the environment is so prime to steer us back. Bring it, world. I am ready. I am queen. @kateanglestein #bodycelebration #ichooseme #beautifulbody #bodylove #iamqueen

LOVE. Sovereigntyis the inherent + independent right todoall that is necessary to govern oneself. It is the operation free from the power of influence over oneself. I make the decisions that are right for me in my own energy + understanding. And yet We are social creatures who are intertwined + interdependent of one another.... We cannot truly separate the two as we don’t live in a vacuum. Further, we thrive when we work together, learn together, are influenced together. I have seen the word sovereignty at times being used as an excuse to be avoidant or disconnected from another person’s emotional experience or needs. Used as an excuse to make decisions based solely on what my highest excitement is without the consideration of how this impacts another. Healthy sovereignty does NOT mean that you make all your decisions in a relationship based solely on what you need or deem right. A sovereign partner directs their life + relationship in integrity with their authentic desires, needs + identity. As a result of work they have done on themselves, they are deeply connected to their emotions as they are alive + inquire as to whether they are their’s or belong to another’s influence, story, or past experience. They are congruent with what they feel + what they say, being truthful + vulnerable to feelings, needs, desires. They do not abandon their self-identity to fit another’s ideal version, nor do they withhold in order to be perceived as more desirable. A sovereign partner is able to self-regulate their nervous system when it gets activated + reach out for help + co-regulation (soothing by another) when they need support. A sovereign partner understands that compromise + negotiation is a part of healthy relating. It is not an all-or-nothing experience where we give an inch and they take a mile. A sovereign partner does not cast their lover as the lead character in their childhood story to resolve those unmet needs or wounds. A sovereign partner understands that healing happens within oneself while honoring that people + events external to them create the opportunities for them to do that work for a new reference point to see themselves in. (Contin

Last night I had a dream. In this dream, I was reading a story book that was playing out in front of me + I was not kind or caring. As the story book progressed, it was painful to watch. At the end, I was instructed to read it again, to which i resisted. Why would I want to relive the pain of how I acted? And so far from how I want to see myself act in this world? So the story book played out again. And again. And quite literally.again.... Same progression. Same ending. Same pain. Funny how we do that in real time. We play out a story in our minda memory or a projection of the futurein remembrance of or anticipation of an outcome less than pleasing. Perhaps we wish we could have changed how we showed up. Perhaps we are preparing ourselves for harm. Either way, our system perceives a threat that it believes we must tend to in order to protect. We ruminate, spinning around + around in circles of our minds, hoping that this turn will reveal the answer. Only to find ourselves 2 hours later, exhausted + no closer to relief + truth than when we started. And of course, For we are looking at the story from a place of activationFight, flight, or freeze modedesigned to keep us aroused + alert for protection. There’s a lot we can learn from reflection of our past to process what may not have completed in our minds + bodies. HOWEVER, it is beneficial only when we approach it from a place of calm + regulation of our nervous system. This facilitates contemplation. Contemplation allows us to see a bigger picture, be open to different perspectives + creative solutions. Contemplation helps us to better be able to empathize, have flexible thinking, + recognize that it may not be our responsibility entirely. Contemplation is the site of healing, where we can gain wisdom to move forward so at the end of 2 hours we find peace + resolution. For those who teach not to go into the past, to only stay in the present is missing a valuable resource. I understand the principle, yet, it can be misused as spiritually bypassing + ignoring the influence of our past + trauma on the lens through which we see the world today. We need to have a better way of relating with the past

LOVE. I will no longer break my heart to pacify others. @malf_photog #selflove #chooseyourselfpowerfully #letgo #loveismyteacher #healthyboundaries

Lots of tension in the air today. Or really this whole past week leading up to today And progressing through the rest of this week. Your nervous system is probably responding to this. Activated or at least creating a smaller window of what you can emotionally tolerate.... Go easy on yourself And your loves. Allow yourself spaciousness. Be intentional about doing things that are pleasurable and fun with no production in mind. Get into your body + do some form of movement Deep breaths. More sex Or at least affection towards your body. Take two magnesium And I’ll see you in the morning. -Your doctor’s prescription for American Election Day. #mentalhealth #selfcare #election2020 What are you doing to self care? I think I’ll be jumping on my trampoline a lot in between clients artist?

LOVE. If you are attached to being the lover or the giveras opposed to giving when giving is needed or loving when loving is neededthen you are bound to be depleted. I must always maintain my own core or I have nothing to give from. Periodically, it is appropriate to take a break from giving. -Revered Amy Wiggens Real Talk: Just because you love to give or love to love, doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your well-being to hold or make easy for someone else to stay.... When you over-extend yourself to make up for the lack of effort they are making to be with you, it is no longer love but perhaps a covert attempt at getting what you want. Manipulation to convince them to like us, want us, love us, be with us, stay. You do not need to convince anyone to love you or be there for you. The radiance of who you are is enough. And should you find that voice inside that says but if I stop making effort towards intimacy then it won’t happen then let this be the voice of reason. Yes. And on the other side of letting go, you will find greater spaciousness + energy that had otherwise been leaking + leaving you on empty or the victim to their decision. It is time, my love. Let them be. Redirecting that love back to you. Who needs to hear this right now? Tag a friend who needs this medicine. @beatrice_thequirky #healthylove #boundarybadass #loveyourself #selflove #selfcare #letgoandgrow

The state of shame absorbs us into our own sense of self + wrong being Preventing us from truly being able to hold the experience of the other. It isn’t until we can embody the guilt The empathic, relating, embodied experience of her Inspired by the hurt we have caused,... Can we begin the process of healing. There was a moment with a partner as he told me of a partnership agreement had been broken. I was devastated as I took my hand out from his. My entire body went frozen + I could barely escape the words of hurt. Instantly he froze up, my words having triggered a wound in him. A deep seeded feeling of being bad. ‘I’m such a fuck up.’ And to that very remark, I abandoned my own upset to comfort him. A protection of my own, so I didn’t have to feel the hurt of betrayal. The problem here? The wound could not heal. As long as we both held these roles, he was never going to feel the repercussions of his actions, for I came in to comfort. And I was never going to be seen in the pain this caused me for him or me to understand. In order to move forward + heal, develop trust + strength to move onward, We must shift from the shame to guiltseparating self (shame) from the behavior (guilt). Taking the focus away from our own internal wounding of self being ‘bad’ + over to our behavior that contributed to the other’s experience of hurt. Empathizing. Feeling into their experience + being present. This won’t feel good + your body may resist it. In the other role, we must not drop ourselves + our experience in order to hold + comfort the other. This is a cop out so you don’t feel the pain of your own wounding. It IS possible to hold both, + it says nothing less about you if in the immediate moment you practice holding yourself. Sometimes the trauma of the moment makes it challenging to see beyond the immediate threat. And that’s ok. When we are ready: We can have curiosity as to what happened in their experience + still hold that it was painful, unkind, + not ok. We can be understanding + angry + sad. We can be loving + still hold our boundaries. We can be compassionate + still give a firm no more. @overexposures #loveismyteacher #healthylove

LOVE. Remembering how we fell into love Can help us discover the path back to it, When we’ve tripped on stones + gotten lost along the way. Something I always ask my clients who are couples in the first session working with me. I can tell a lot about their relationship by the way they share the story, by the way they smile, or share a glance. ... Because when we are in the problem saturated story, we can lose sight of what it was that attracted us in the first place or that there exists light amid The heaviness of the issue. Sometimes, we just need to pause + remmeber... @claramorberg #loveismyteacher #letloveleadtheway

LOVE. The lines along her thighs read like poetry in the early morning light. Each one portraying its own story Of pain Of beauty Of strength ... Of love As my fingertips traced the lifespan of each one I fell even more entranced to the character they spoke of. For more erotic + love poetry, follow my @eroticallywasted account. Nourishing your eroticism is my greatest pleasure. @danaemercer #bodylove #readmepoetry #readbetweenthelines #cellulitelove #mybodymyrules #ilovemybody #embodylove #loveyourself

LOVE. Polarity through a trauma-informed lens. (Part 4) Oftentimes when people talk about polarity, they refer to the energetic poles of ‘masculine’ + ‘feminine’. Not gender specific, but rather two ends of our personal spectrum of embodiment that then also pairs in relation to another (see previous post on the specifics). When you + you partner(s) are in one of these manifestations while you are in the other, they compliment + create attraction, ease in the dance between yo...u. When you both are fighting for the same role, we feel a discord + challenge in connection. If you have a complaint that your partner is too Masculine or controlling or any of the characteristics described there, this may be their authentic expression OR it may ACTUALLY be them operating from an activated nervous system Meaning she may be in fight/flight/freeze. This may be one of their survival strategies they’ve used all their lives to get by (see ep 80 of #EatPlaySex podcast for a deep dive). Personally, action + competency are two of my hardwired auto-strategies for getting along in this world. I can get really buzzy + hyper in the body + start doing a lot if I’m out of my window of emotional tolerance. This can come across as masculine but it’s also my automatic go to when activated. So, instead of blaming our partner that they are too much this or not enough feminine or whatever the fuck, perhaps instead we help them get in their body + regulate. A way more compassionate way to come back to polarity. * Our culture prizes this busy mind + achievement, so bringing them into a surrender may be the exact medicine they need. * Some of the greatest tips you can take here: YOUR presence, YOUR slower breath, YOUR taking up space, YOUR direct assertiveness, holding eye gaze, holding them, synchronizing breath. If you have a complaint that your partner is too feminine or flighty or indecisive, this may be true for them OR they may also be in a trauma response operating from strategies that they have used in the past in order to regulate self or survive. * Meet this with vulnerability + clear, direct asking for what you need. (continued)

Tonight, let’s get erotically wasted. #tellmeastory #podcast #fantasy #eroticpoetry #tunein #listenup #sexymusings #poetry #eargasm #lovers #pleasure #sexeducation #sextherapy #desire #whatsyourfantasy #howcaniturnyouon #sexpositive #lovegoals #seduction #couplegoals #romanticpoetry #eroticpoems #turnon #turnmeon #dirtytalk #eroticpoem

LOVE. Polarity + Emotional Connection. We talked about the power of polarity in sexual attraction. And this would not sustain a strong healthy relationship without the balance of emotional connection. If you find that your sex is fire, but it’s a challenge to have productive communication or emotional connection, then there either may be a major missing factor in this pairing that won’t sustain (without help from say a coach or therapist to guide you through) or you may just ...need to take the initiative to lean in + start it yourself. Or it may even be a trauma bond that will just keep on activating each other’s wounds again + again (see my recent post + video on trauma bonds). Polarity is not going to be helpful here in, but can actually get in the way. For emotional connection, we both (or all) have to soften to hear one another. If we maintain our dominating quality here, we are not going to be able to receive our partner, nor them us. So put down your sexy, power hungry sword + open your heart through active listening. - Listening requires us our FULL presencenot strategizing in our head how we are going to respond or correct. No. This is softening your gaze (instead of hard penetrating gaze), relaxing your demeanor, be curious + ask questions about their experience, show that you care about their understanding rather than trying to lead with YOUR experience. This can come across as defensive + communicate that what they felt/experienced isn’t as important as it is for you to clear your name. - Attune. Attuning is our ability to read our partner’s non-verbal + verbal cues so as to better understand what may be going on internally for them. That way we can better prepare ourselves for a response that matches them, or course correct if we get it wrong. This is being sensitive to their moods that we can’t read so well if we are goal-directed on getting some. TRUTH in dating, as well. How many times I’ve heard from girlfriends who went on a date with someone who just kept misattuning + pressing for physical affection or a kiss or invitation to their housePAY ATTENTION + you can learn a lot. - Relax your sexual tiger + allow for space. Continued below See more

SX. How to Polarize: Remember yesterday’s post where I talked about different types of polarity? Here we talk about how you can dial it up: Masculine + Feminine (not gender specific): Masculine energy is the manifestation of action, protection, solid strength, purpose, cognitive, giving Feminine energy is the manifestation of creativity, inspiration, flow, softness, nurturance, receptivity, emotional.... When you + you partner(s) are in one of these manifestations while you are in the other, they compliment + create attraction, ease in the dance between you. When you both are fighting for the same role, we feel a discord + challenge in connection. Dark + Light This is the bad boy/good girl (or reverse) or the angel + the devil or the naughty one + the nice one. The experience of taking on roles that oppose in this way can be really fun. What was so attractive about Sandy + Danny in Grease? They were from two different worlds, making it interesting for them to explore + learn about the other. Top + Bottom This is where one person is giving while the other is receiving. When both people try to take the role of giving, it splits our awareness + makes it more of a challenge to be present in either role (of giver or receiver). If we are both wanting to be the receiver, then who is there to give? Sometimes this can be seen in domination = submission, but not necessarily. Which leads me to Dominating + Submitting This is power play at it’s finest. Where one person plays the role of (consensually) exerting their power + direction over another person, while the other person (consensually) relinquishes their power to the other’s action. This can be seen when a partner pins the other to the bed + holds their wrists above their head while kissing them deeply. Or blindfolding + binding a partner so they are powerless to our play on them. This is the other partner completely surrendering to their pleasure + letting go of trying to direct the action. Wild + Rooted This is visible when one partner is dynamic, emotionally + physically expressive while the other is more solid, rooted, centered + strong. Where one partner grounds the pair, the other enlivens. Continued below

SX. Sxual polarity. The experience of magnets as two people embody opposite ends to attract one another. Masculine + Feminine Dark + Light Top + Bottom Wild + Rooted... Dominating + Submitting Emotional attraction. The experience of similarity creating connection + safety. Vulnerability. Shared Values. Softness. Mutual Respect. Groundedness. Honest communication. Relationships thrive when both of these co-exist between 2 partners (or more). Low Polarity between partners occurs when there is too much of an overlap of shared lives, leaving little to the uniqueness of the individual. Sometimes we see this when partners own companies together + all they talk about is business, the kids, what happened with the clients that day. Some couples would describe their partner here as their best friend, but not someone they would want to tear their clothes off + f*ck. High polarity between partners occurs when there is a vast difference in qualities creating that bodies CRAVING each other + unable to leave the other alone. Powerful + really fun, but if there isn’t so much of the emotional attraction, then communication + deeper connection can suffer. These are the partnerships that blow up in fights or fits of passion both angry + annoyed but also hot. We don’t want to leave bc the sx is so goodbut it’s also tearing us up. Sometimes can be a trauma bond, activating or complimenting each other’s childhood wounds. Then there’s relationships that have a more balance in their polarity + emotional connection. There’s a more relaxed state of being, you can have connective conversations + effective communication through vulnerability, while also be able to shift into opposing polarities to ignite desire between you. This takes work to create + maintain over longer periods of time. To expect it to simply be natural is setting yourself up for failure. Now I know it’s been challenging over this quarantine to maintain polarity, as we’ve been sharing the same space under the same roof with our partner more often than usual. So tomorrow I’m sharing with you tips on how you can increase polarity + emotionally connected. Sign up for my weekly pleasure report to get more