Peaks and Valleys Christian Life Coaching

LEO marriages took a hit in 2020. Days turned into months. The officers were in the midst of a war they didn’t choose. The spouse held down the fort hour by hour, waiting for the text that said everything was ok. ... The PTSD started to set in. The compassion fatigue settled upon the spouses. The isolation was grueling for both. Communication ceased and the fear of losing the relationship became a possibility. But, you’re strong. You’re hanging in there. You’re making it work, trying to figure it out. You’re not alone, we’ve heard from many LEO couples this year, and the stories broke our hearts. We tried to help as many as we could, but we missed a few in the confusion and chaos. We’re trying to come up with a solution for you. We will be filming messages to go along with the chapters of our book,Officer Involved Spouse so that you can go through the chapters together, in the privacy of your own home- and see if it can open up some avenues of solid and truthful conversations that can begin to heal your relationship. Keep an eye out here for more information. Helping LEO marriages is something we felt called to long ago, our past has equipped our future. Our Story is linked in the profile- this podcast explains why we created this ministry, take a listen!

New Blog Post Alert! Sweetly Refreshing the Verbiage of 2020 Are you a fan of the Chronicles of Narnia?... Us, too! I think for the year 2021, we shall be valiant, just, gentle and magnificent! Link in profile

There’s nothing like a year like #2020, surprised in March about whether or not even your basic needs will be met. Can you say #toiletpaper ? But, boy did we roll with it! Even though many had much loss - jobs, finances, relationships, lives...it felt like that toilet paper roll would never quit unraveling! In western society, we’ve been privy to the basic necessities of life without a thought. We’ve taken them for granted, I suppose. ... People all over the world long for their basic, daily needs to be met, but on the map it seems so far away we don’t consider it in our thought process. Unless, however, you were fortunate enough to go on a mission trip, and were able to experience the third world way of life firsthand. That trip may have wrecked you for a season, wondering how your perspective had been skewed for so long. And you may even continue to hold those moments in your heart, continually wrestling with how convenient our lifestyle is here on the other side of the globe. This post is not meant to make you crawl into fetal position in the corner of a room, it is meant to lift your eyes and remove the veil to see your need to be grateful for the simple things. Be grateful for clean water. Be grateful for hot water. Be grateful for refrigeration, grocery stores, air conditioning, heat, beds, pillows, warm blankets, warm meals...the list goes on. Also, think about your relationships. Think about them in the most simplistic manner. Are we asking too much of our spouses, continually comparing them, manipulating moments to get a desired effect? Try being grateful for your spouse’s #companionship, #friendship and #presence. Focus on the good and amazing qualities they have that drew you to them in the first place. And - the extremely important matter of the Lord’s presence in your life. Be grateful for the ways He has brought you to and through circumstances, acknowledge the refinement, be thankful for His long suffering over you, begin to trust His process. See if you can make #2021 the year that gratitude for the simple things takes center-stage in your life - let’s watch that magic happen Happy New Year - we’re WITH you and FOR you!

We can reach more couples because of you... THANK YOU!! @trinity_counseling_ministries , for continually believing in our mission and vision!... @etl_community - Josh, for taking a chance on us and letting us @zoom a Quarantine Date Night ! @bibleandbullets - Grace, for leading us newbies into our first giveaway! @blue_wives_tribe - Nicole, for helping us get the word out about Officer Involved Spouse with an interview on your podcast! @biblesforleo - David, for inviting us to film a Faith Friday Devotional on mentorship in law enforcement! @officialadamdavis , thanks for letting me walk 80 LEOWs through your @bulletproofdevotional on @youversion , the community created there was a salve to many wounds... @leowbox - Svenja, for graciously placing our Officer Involved Spouse book in your box for spring! @blurbbooks and @weebly - thank you for being so dang user-friendly that even we could create books and a website that will help many repair marriages, create community and have a place to go for answers to help heal relationships. We are so appreciative to the above pages and, quite honestly, sooooo many more- THANKFUL FOR YOU - for encouraging, affirming, sharing and commenting to keep us on the path that helps you best and stays within God’s will for our ministry. We couldn’t do any of this without you!

Merry Christmas #emptynesterstyle ! We hope your birthday cake for Jesus is sweet, your coffee is hot and your love strong this Christmas Day and always! Blessings from Linda & Brian at Peaks And Valleys Christian Life Coaching

Christmas Eve - Can you feel it? The Lord knows we need it - the anticipation of Jesus, and something new being birthed in our hearts, a season turning over revealing something fresh, the hope of Christ, the weary world rejoicing! Christmas Eve is a night of anticipation. We live in a dark world where, like Narnia, it almost feels like we live in a perpetual state of winter. In our hearts, we sense a certain longing but know that it’s not just for the presents or peppermi...nt cookies this holiday season brings. @edstetzer No, it’s so much more. Sure, we shop and wrap and bake and prepare for our families, but we do this to honor the gift of our Savior. The Christmas season naturally ushers in a sense of warmth and light. In human terms, the earthly things we do are some of the ways we know to show our love for one another. We experienced this anticipation a few days early, because as #emptynesters we ask the kids to pick a day that they’re all available and fit our celebration into their schedules. #flexibility But it wasn’t the ribbons, tags, boxes or bags...it was a little bit more (@grinchmovie). It was the fellowship with our kids that we were craving, the conversations, the laughter, the hugs, the playfulness...this is the best thing to desire. We saw it, we heard it, and now we’re telling you so that you can experience it along with us, this experience of communion with the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. Our motive for writing is simply this: We want you to enjoy this, too. Your joy will double our joy! 1 John 1:3-4 Praying that your anticipation is joyful and that your fellowship is peaceful this Christmas.

Staying or leaving SOCIAL MEDIA?? That’s the dilemma in this present time! We get it! Especially if you’re in law enforcement- the current lack of privacy and security can be a bit uncomfortable.... We’re staying for now, we feel like if we can help just one individual or couple, then we can rest assured we’re completing what we’ve been called to. WE DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU- so please pop over to our website via the link in our profile and fill out the contact form so we can keep you updated in 2021. We have a few plans up our sleeves: 1. Filming a video series (January) for our book, Officer Involved Spouse - you will want to know how to get your hands on that - launching in March! 2. Linda will begin offering zoom style personal Christian Life Coaching for women - working on the development of a page on our website for the ability to sign up, limited spots will be available - that will launch in February! Hope to see those contact forms coming in - we’re so excited to send these updates and continue offering help to those in need

Date night! For this week’s date night we went to a sweet little wedding. We soaked up every moment of that evening because it was so special. ... A couple in love, a story redeemed, two lives choosing the Lord as their authority and together, setting their feet onto a new path. It’s a little difficult to do date nights right now - especially in California - but you can take advantage of the lights, the walks, the neighborhood playtimes and make them special! Bring out the hot chocolate and marshmallows, bake some seasonal treats, get some extra lights for your house it’s all for the cause, dear! So - you may not have a wedding to attend, but plan a date night anyway- and make it a holiday type, complete with all the excitement of the season!!

Day 4 of the Bulletproof Devotional (@officialadamdavis @youversion) encouraged us to pray together. Gotta be totally honest here, when you’re in conflict with your spouse praying together is the most difficult thing to do. Also, can I go against the grain for a minute? We have gone to bed mad. I know, say it isn’t so... Let me take a jab at this and remind you and myself WHY we would pray together when things aren’t going well in our relationship.... Because you are in NEED. Let us the approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. You’re marriage is in need because you’re two unique individuals with different viewpoints and perspectives and you don’t always agree. Lifting those conflict concerns to the Lord can invite a sweet and grace-filled understanding of each other. You are in need because you follow Jesus and your spouse does not - living in this tension is uncomfortable and only the Lord can bring you peace within the process. You are in need because our culture has no respect for law and order and we want to lift our safety concerns to the Lord- only He can create organization out of chaos. You are in need because the church you once called home has turned a corner and bought into a belief system that you can’t follow - lifting this disappointment to Him may surprise you with an open door into a new direction of fellowship. Ask for His presence, prepare your hearts, grab a mentor couple that’s about 5 years ahead of the game (if you need)- and ask questions, heed wisdom, learn a new rhythm of prayer for you and your spouse, it can help build a beautiful and strong foundation that cannot be shaken by the ways of this world.

What we focus on becomes bigger and catches our attention more than anything else in our day. Christmas is a time for joy, a time for peace, a time to search for the star - God with us - Immanuel. And yet, sometimes we can’t shake the mishaps. We forget to forgive ourselves for the cookies that didn’t get baked, the spilled casserole on the floor of the car or the lack of time or energy to create special memories for our loved ones. ... Even worse, we don’t give grace to others for the wrong sized gift, the disappointed family members or the hurt that’s caused by unmet expectations. Are you searching for the STAR or focusing on the SPILL? We encourage you to rest in the knowledge of God and what He has for you through His Word~ To be selfless: In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. Philippians 2:5-7 NIV To be peacefully magnetic: Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God’s energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure. Do everything readily and cheerfully...into the world in corrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night... Philippians 2:13-16 MSG Release the disappointments of the small stuff and offer grace to yourself and others. Then, accept the redeeming power of God to handle and heal the big disappointments. Praying over your marriages and relationships this week of Christmas Grace and Peace -

What will? Are you thinking, I need some of that! It’s the reminder of all the opposition that Christ endured. When we sit and rest in that truth, we have an easier time not growing weary.... Hebrews chapter 12 is filled with encouragement to persevere. To fix our eyes on Jesus. To accept discipline as a loving kindness. To go over his story again and again when we’re flagging in our faith realizing that God is educating us for what is to come. He wants us to live a holy life, not overly concerned with happiness but to go for PURE JOY in everything we do. This takes longer, requires patience, prompts our hearts away from bitterness and helps to focus our eyes on God’s unshakeable kingdom meant for ME and YOU! So, we become more thankful for all the little things as our perspective changes - hot water, meals, beds with blankets and pillows- we don’t take anything for granted. Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. Hebrews 12:29 msg If you’re flagging in your faith and need a little adrenaline shot into your souls, I would encourage you to read Hebrews chapters 11 and 12 today - and pray God will restore YOUR FAITH! I’m right there with ya!

Day 2 of the Bulletproof Devotional focused on avoiding anything in your life that would come between you and your spouse. Be vigilant in watching out for those things. Be protective of your marriage. Choose wisely. When I interviewed Brian for the Officer Involved Spouse book, he stated, The police departments are not set up or even conducive to working on family or marriage relationships or helping to create tight bonds that encourage you to stay together. The bonds t...hat may be created with anyone other than your spouse can be dangerous and create an untrustworthy atmosphere in your marriage. Isolation sets in and you become like two wildebeests at the back of the pack ready to be picked off. By the enemy. God is the relationship you place first, then your spouse, then your kids and so on. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33 With the Lord as your first focus, you can more easily respect, honor, prioritize, be transparent with, honestly reveal flaws, ask for forgiveness, be repentant and truly connect with your spouse. God make the impossible, possible. Pause. Prioritize. Lose your pride. Give up your authority. Surrender to Jesus and His saving grace on the cross over your life. Some may view this as a weakness, but amazingly enough, surrendering to Him actually allows you to become stronger than you’ve ever been.

Day 1 of the Bulletproof Devotional started out fierce! @officialadamdavis says, For example, when you are spiritually disobedient to the commands God has given, you invite trust-killers into your marriage. Although many trust-killers are unrecognizable in the early stages, preemptive strategies can help thwart their continued operation. Marriage Trust Killers are anything that would serve to break the marital foundation. Lack of communication, anger, substance abuse, lu...st, adrenaline fixes... Because Peaks and Valleys is all about marriage mentoring, I’m gonna zero you in on a few helpful tips. CREATE a daily plan to meet with God. I love the @youversion app because there are options for lots of different types of devotionals. But, you may prefer a hard copy Bible to read out of or you may be the type to listen to podcasts/sermons/messages from pastors you’re comfortable with - whatever you do, get in front of God’s Word daily and ask Him to change your perspective so that you can live life more aware of His attributes that will eventually soak into who you are. MEET with your spouse once per week for about 30 minutes to nail down what the schedule will be for the next week. WRITE IT DOWN - yep, write everything down on a big, old fashioned calendar including tasks that need to be done and how you can help each other complete them. I know many of you said that the officer feels like their job is only at work if you’re a SAHM, and some of you said that your work full time as well. There is just something about putting it down on paper- the visual is quite shocking and very educational for the spouse who doesn’t realize what’s happening at home. COUCH TIME- you say all of your conversations end up in a fight? Well, if you try to sit together for about 15 minutes a day to talk about (one high, one low and one surprising thing that happened during your day) small stories, you are in essence practicing your communication skills. You’re chatting daily, not just when you have a big topic to dig into, so the anxiety is removed. (Don’t roll your eyes, try it before you poo-poo it ) Finances were also a topic- I have two words @daveramsey !

Take a look at this amazing box for LEOWs - so thankful to have my book included for Spring 2021!

Choosing to set the Lord before you - wherever you go, whatever you do, whatever you say - now takes on new meaning. Recognizing His presence in the midst of where you go, what you do, what you say now takes on a reverent holiness. Fearless in the fact that where you go, what you do and what you say - practicing obedience in fearing only Him, diminish the things of this world, they cannot shake you like before.... I pray for BIG BLESSINGS, PEACE IN THE HOME, RESTORATION IN RELATIONSHIPS for the LEOW’s who have joined #BULLETPROOF , the 7 day devotional. Because, ladies, this is an answer to my prayer regarding all of you! Marriage Ministry can be grueling at times, and by meeting in person we can only help a few couples at a time - but this WOW! It’s an extraordinary thing God is doing to create this community who desires to pursue HIM together AND nurture their law enforcement marriage at the same time. Devotion begins this Sunday (10/25 not too late to sign up, go to previous post)

If you had a cookie for every personal concern you have today, how many cookies would be on your platter? During some seasons of life, mine would have been overflowing with those colorful morsels. I’ve developed a method over the years, a way to pray and process my concerns with Godand it looks a little like an imaginary platter.... In those quiet moments, this imaginary platter sits upon my hand and as I have my prayer/conversation with God, I place my concerns upon the platter one at a time. I have placed people upon this platter when relationships have gone sideways, my job when things were stressful, my checkbook when the month was longer than the pay, our ministry during confusing seasons and even my kids because a mom’s heart just feels like it’s going to explode sometimes. When I lift this platter up to God with all my concerns, He clears it off and accepts my burdens as His own. When I bring it back down, it’s completely empty. God takes all of it away. He takes my burdens, my action step is to surrender them to Him. I can’t take control and dump that platter by myself, it would defeat the purpose of prayer that grows faith and trust in our Creator. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 Yep, it’s simplistic - and please take heed, this is only a small part of the immense role that prayer plays in my life, but the visual just helps me and gives me a starting point on those days when things are rough. And through the years, it has been the most grounding way for me to not lean on my own understanding...for anything. So, what’s on your platter?

**Double tap and comment BULLETPROOF if you want to join the 7 day study** see details below! I don’t have to tell you these are tough times for law enforcement couples. I’ve had several messages this week alone from LEOWs and I’m heartbroken and am eager to help in some way. After 32 years of keeping a successful LEO marriage, and building this ministry in order to help relationships, our hearts are with you and for you, not wanting even one marriage to perish.... It’s been 6 long months of holding your breath, awkward communication, crazy shifts, unique situations, lack of sleep and all of that without an end in sight. Here’s what I would like to offer, and I hope it can help: A 7 day Bullet Proof Marriage study (by @officialadamdavis ) on a free app called @youversion . Yes, it is a Bible based study, but even if you aren’t a regular attender to scripture, you will find this study is simple, but impactful. It is also an opportunity for free mentorship and a safe, loving community. We will begin this Sunday, October 25th through Halloween . You sign on once per day, read the devotion & scripture and then comment to summarize the topic of the day. All LEOWs that have registered will see each other’s comments and be able to respond and/or add their own thoughts. I will also be participating and can encourage you along the way. Double tap and comment BULLETPROOF if you want to join the 7 day study and I’ll send an invite your way Feeling a tug? Ya, I was, too- during my quiet time this morning. I think this is meant for you, sis

The Lord has more for you than just checking the box of a formulaic prayer life. His word is alive, His presence is transforming, His Spirit is always speaking and He is always calling us deeper. @ginastockton (Prayer Class) The transition from repeating a memorized prayer learned as a child into a friendship-style conversation with God was a welcomed journey for me.... As I began to pour out my heart and soul to Him as a new believer, it felt as awkward as the first time without training wheels. Able to ride, but certainly flopping and wobbling from one side to the other- and it took a while to ride smoothly in my prayer life, mostly because many well-intentioned individuals kept giving me the directions on how to pray. They would say something like: First, make sure you’re in a quiet place, then take out your Bible and journal, and only in the morning and always have a candle lit and on and on and on... When I finally realized that my friendship with Jesus could handle a friendly conversation, that was imperfect and real, I found myself in a better rhythm of prayer. I learned something new, too, regarding the Our Father (Matthew 6:9-13) that I had memorized so many years ago. Scripture was not necessarily meant to be repeated chorally as a prayer, but instead this was to be a model or framework of how God would like us to intimately honor Him, accept His will, ask for our needs, forgive others, repent of our sins, remove temptation and keep us from evil as we speak with Him. I know (strengthened by rear view mirror moments) that God strengthens my faith through prayer, He meets me in my weaknesses and moves mountains to bring peace into wacky seasons. So, simply stated- sit with Him for a bit today so that you can know him more. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. Ephesians 1:17

New Blog Post Alert: Celebrating the National Police Officer's Spouses Day!! LEOWs are the officers first line of defense, but also the first ones to hear about their shift - the good, bad and ugly of it all!

You, too? I wasn’t even sure if we would produce the yearly Christmas card, and yet- it happened because traditions move forward. Would we have the energy to decorate for Christmas? Yes! God provides and our house is a glimmer with light.... It is true that our present weakness, the daily hard-press on every side, feeling perplexed by others’ decisions, surprised by our leaders and authorities on both sides-placing our freedoms at risk, being persecuted for our beliefs, experiencing the effects of the frail human body and mind- wondering how much more this world can throw... But, God... Therefore we do not lose heart. Though OUTWARDLY we are wasting away, yet INWARDLY we are being RENEWED day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we FIX our eyes on not what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is TEMPORARY, but what is unseen is ETERNAL. 2 Corinthians, chapter 4 (emphasis, mine) Pressing through these days and being encouraged by God’s Holy presence and the growth of our faith during this precious season. Do you need a little faith? Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. Romans 10:17 We hang onto our faith as a lifeline. We have heard the concerns of many. We are with you and for you and pray that your faith grows enormously this season, bringing with it the Joy-Light-Favor of Jesus. May the light of Christ shine within your hearts to mend relationships, heal illnesses and break ties that bind you to anything other than Jesus. Please let us know if we can pray for you

I give to charities, I order Girl Scout cookies from neighbor kids, I bless friends with birthday surprises, so that’s pretty much my tithe, I stated confidently. Well, that’s pretty much wrong- you have kind of a wonky way of looking at tithing, she said. This was the first that I had chosen to take the easy route, manipulate the Word of God and create an idol with money - I was playing God and quite honestly, claiming my own style of religion.... Tithe means a tenth of something. So when believers say that they tithe it usually means they give a tenth of their income. In the Old Testament, it was considered a necessary sacrifice to give and honor the Lord with your first fruits, giving to God first and then living off of what remained. (This is simply stated, do your own study on this topic -it is vast and wide) In the New Testament, it was encouraged to give generously out of your thankfulness and gratefulness, considering what Christ did for you on the cross. Also, funding helped sustain the churches and leaders, while promoting the idea of selflessness. We started tithing to our home church with just 2% of our income, choosing that because, although we were prompted to tithe, we were also up to our earlobes in debt. Beginning in this way allowed us to give cheerfully vs dreadfully. Every year, we raised our tithe by a percent or two until we were up to 10%. Since that time, we’ve been able to give more and experience God’s goodness over us as He has provided ways for us to accomplish goals. Side note: no prosperity gospel here, just a beautiful relationship with the Creator who is eager to give, just like a loving parent - but can also withhold to finish His will. No, money did not magically appear. Yes, the blessings we found were new opportunities to work hard in a new job, finding amazing new rates for our mortgage, etc. We set our minds on a verse during the years of early giving. Proverbs 30:8 kept us focused on wanting only for God to supply our need, and whether or not we would be blessed with more was completely left up to Him. Commit to a giving rhythm, release the fear attached to money - and watch God work.

Be careful what you tend to. If what you’re watering takes root and grows in your life, there are definitely some things you would want to STARVE! Don’t water FEAR - it may produce anxiety.... Don’t water ANGER - it may result in damaged relationships. Don’t water BITTERNESS - you may grow an inappropriate perspective that could force your view towards something untrue. Whether or not you have a tested green thumb when tending to things in your life, or you’re new at learning how to process the events and circumstances that come your way - either way be sure to water only the areas in which you desire GROWTH: Water CONNECTION - reach out to people and see relationships grow. It is not always another person’s job to reach out to you...press against the uncomfortable and make the call. Water HEALTH - seek answers for growth in emotional, mental, spiritual and physical health. Take care of yourself...those close to you will be aware of the change and be very appreciative that you’ve stepped up to the plate in these areas of your life. Water LOVE - practice giving and receiving unconditionally. Be an investigator of your spouse, family, neighbors and friends...learn what they like, their desires, what gives them peace - this May grow acceptance and grace in a culture that needs to be infused with this type of goodness. Choose carefully what you water and what should starve, because you get to decide what grows the largest in your own life.

*Thankful*Grateful*Blessed* These sweet souls have helped us grow up in our marriage through the years. They’ve equipped us in the journeys, the seasons, the speed bumps, the comfort needed when mourning and the dancing brought upon us through pure joy!... We created our ministry because #familymatters . Look beyond the times you’re experiencing today in your marriage and imagine for a moment the utter reward that comes from blanketing your kids with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. (Galatians 5:22-23) Yes and Amen! Have we done it perfectly all the time? By no means- we’ve messed up royally, been discouraged, frustrated, exhausted, sad, angry and at our whit’s end, but we’ve been faithful - asking for God’s wisdom and strength through it all. Jehovah-Jireh, God provides. Connections that last forever, friendships in family that soothe wounds and people that desire to experience life together is what you’re working towards when you ask God to help you keep your marriage strong. We are with you and for you! Happy Thanksgiving with grace and peace, Brian and Linda #rebuildyourmarriage #officerinvolvedspouse #emptynesters #grandparents #inlaws #family #familytime #marriage #marriagegoals #loveandmarriage #galatians #grandkids #love #thanksgiving #thankful #grateful #blessed #familygoals #outdoors #together #togetherwearestronger #jehovahjireh #familyphotography #emptynesterlife #christian #christianfamily #churchkids #lifetogether #dolifetogether

Worship with reverence and awe... So much to be thankful for #thanksgiving #thankful #family #grateful #gratefulheart #blessed #bible #wordofgod #reverence #awe #worship

Hello to those we haven’t met yet. We’re Brian and Linda from Peaks and Valleys! We are so grateful for the opportunity to minister to marriages through content, groups and curriculum! Our goal is to help couples through conflict because we have been helped ourselves and desperately want you to feel peace in your relationship and in your home.... We have no letters behind our names, but have been lay counselors for 10+ years and have felt a calling to walk alongside people during tough times. Our experiences in law enforcement, trauma support, Christian ministries and life coaching prompted us to write a few curriculum style books. (Officer Involved Spouse ~and~ Rebuild Your Marriage) We pray that these resources can help answer some questions in your LEO Marriage and help guide you and your church into fully nurtured Christian Marriages. Link in profile to: EVERYTHING!!! BTW: you make our hearts smile

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, ROOTED and BUILT UP in him, STRENGTHENED in the faith as you were taught, and OVERFLOWING WITH THANKFULNESS. Colossians 2:6-7 (NIV - emphasis, mine) Do you like gardening? I love my roses. One day, I went out to do my normal gardening and noticed a consistent dead area of one of my rose bushes.... Most days, I would ignore that blank patch prune the beautiful boughs, urging the bush to produce more buds. However, one day, I decided to begin cutting into the stalks of that dead area. What I found as I cut was the hollowness of something that had been without life for quite a while. I glanced inside and stared at the empty area that once had life and health that now was just brown, dead and hollow. This visual was coming through loud and clear! I wondered what areas in my life hadn’t been fed for a while (not ROOTED or BUILT UP) and what areas needed a more rigorous pruning (to be STRONGER and encourage growth and an OVERFLOWING and THANKFUL heart). That thought was immediately followed by an uneasiness that possibly, I wasn’t blooming the way I needed to be. The important thing for me to remember at moments like these is to not make things happen by myself, not struggle to be good or approved in order to be loved or fixed somehow, and to not turn a blind eye to the signs that God has visually placed before me. Also, I have to make certain I’m not falling into the pattern of feeling like I’m not measuring up to some standard that is more worldly and less Godly - that message is covered a few verses later.But that’s not the way of Christ. Everything of God gets expressed in Him, so you can see him clearlyWhen you come to him, that fullness comes together for youHis power extends over everything. Colossians 2:9-10 (Msg) If you are in Christ, you are a new creation not because of something you’ve done. You are a new creation because of His grace that extends over you. Be in him, obey his ways, ask for his wisdom and receive the nourishment to bloom. Don’t let this world get you down, He is FOR you...

I was passionate, I was eager, I was learning how to walk and looked like a toddler taking their first steps. My journey as a Christian began with well meaning women who told me to slow down, that I wasn’t ready to lead bible study yet.... Our church offered the message in a coffee shop area, an easy place to invite friends, but we were told that the REAL Christians were inside the building. There were some who disagreed with attending church on Saturday night, (because somehow, Sunday was more Spiritual?) although that is when our kids could invite friends back to our home for pizza and a safe, social time. There were seasoned Christians who told me I shouldn’t be reading The Message (paraphrase) because it wasn’t fit for studying. But, somehow God gave me an early discernment. I was shy and quiet about many things in life but when it came to my new relationship with Christ, I was fairly bold and I was ready to run. Christian music played in my home, like- all the time! Every time I made a decision, it was based upon whether or not I could lay my head on the pillow, knowing that my choices throughout the day were the best possible for every role in my life: wife, mom, Christian woman - and that no was an acceptable answer. So, I tried not to let anyone cut in or stop me from running my race as a new Christian. Even though at times it was exhausting, I realized that I needed to train if I were to solidly run this race! I created an intentional routine, I listened to God’s discernment telling me to continue on without fear of embarrassment, and I just somehow knew that He could handle my first steps- as sloppy as they looked at times. It was a unique road, so it didn’t apply to anyone else - we are all individually created before Him, and it was a rugged path, so I needed to put my head down and focus on Him, to avoid missteps and injury. Maturing strengthened me. We are responsible for our own attitudes, for they exist inside our ‘property line’, they are within our hearts, not someone else’s. God repeatedly tells us to examine and take responsibility for the attitudes and beliefs that govern our lives. -Dr. Henry Cloud

She said, Oh, you’re unequally yoked. Yolked? I wondered if she was talking about our marriage resembling a plate of scrambled eggs? Well, I felt like an egg being scrambled, so that wouldn't have been too far from the truth, but it wasn't until I did some studying on my own that I realized what one of my early bible study leaders was referring to. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, f...or I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 It wasn’t an egg yolk they were speaking of at all it was something quite different and it was beginning to make more sense. A yoke is a wooden bar that is attached to two oxen. These oxen should be of similar height, weight and strength in order to pull their burden equally. If they are unequal, they cannot work together, they could even end up walking in circles and wind up accomplishing nothing at all. If they are equal, the job is less taxing for both oxen. God promises if you take His yoke (notice that it is your choice), He will give you rest because he makes the tasks easier if we invite Him in to help and be involved in every part of our life. But, what happens if you are unequally yoked in your marriage? How do you exist on this dual-plane of a life? Marital conflict over something as crucial as how we view God differently is so very painful, especially when you’re parenting together. I wondered how it was ever going to change...and would I survive if it never did? So, for years we walked in unequally yoked circles regarding Christianity. Brian dipped his toe in once and a while. He dug little deeper when the kids asked him to pray at mealtime and bedtime. We joined a couple’s bible study with people who welcomed Brian’s inquisitiveness. The change was slow, but steady. Brian calls it God’s dimmer switch. Truly, light and dark were colliding right before my eyes. (Eph 6:12-13) I had so much hope. I camped out on Brian’s amazing qualities and God helped me be patient. God is at work, friend. Be patient

You need a plan. If you want to get away with your spouse it doesn’t just magically happen. Start today...we know you can be an active part of helping your marriage thrive!... Blog post to help you get a fire lit under that bahoonie! Www.Peaksandvalleys.life see it on the blog tab Originally written for @idoparttwo , follow their IG and FB pages for some fun empty nester shenanigans!

Thank you for the opportunity to write another fun post! Sometimes your eyes need to see some new views!!

Have you ever picked up a bible? When I began attending church as an adult, I would take home the weekly message outline, filled with the scripture verses the pastor used during service and I teach myself how to look them up in this seemingly foreign book. I made my way around the books (66 books written by 40 authors) and realized why everything was numbered. Eventually, I could categorize the books-understanding the old and new testament (before and after Jesus), vent...uring into the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John - all stories about Jesus’ life, four different perspectives) and then I took notice of all the letters written to the churches to correct, teach and discipline them (written by Paul who began as Saul who killed many Christians until he met Jesus on the road to Damascus and had an encounter that changed his life into becoming one of the most faithful followers of Jesus). I realize this is simple, but if someone had explained that the Bible was actually written intimately for me and you, I would not have been as afraid to approach it. All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 ...the Bible, all of it, is livable; it is the text for living our lives. It reveals a God-created, God-ordered, God-blessed world in which we find ourselves at home and whole. -Eugene Peterson, Eat This Book ALL scripture. Every translation. Look at a few different bible versions at a local Christian bookstore so that you can browse the literary styles and touch the pages. Take it all in. I love having the NIV and The Message paraphrase in the same bible - literally those two bibles are side by side on each page of my bible. You most likely have a different learning style than your spouse, your friend, your bible study leader, your pastor - and that is awesome! Embrace the difference! My eyes were opening regarding the Bible. I no longer found a deep cavern between myself and the Bible, its not an elitist document for the formally trained, its wisdom is meant for little ol’ me & you!

Honoring all who have served this great nation. Today and every day, we salute you, our true heroes. #veterans #veteransday #veteransday2020 #veteransday #heroes #heroesinuniform #selfless #selflessness #patriots #patriotism #pride #military #army #navy #airforce #marines #usa #usa #militaryservice

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Jesus is HOPE. Not because of what the world offers, not because of what culture decides, but because of God’s message; it is very accessible, it is clearly not hidden and it is available for all. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. ... Romans 1:20 If you’ve seen a tree growing, you’re without excuse. If you’ve witnessed a rainbow after a storm, you’re without excuse. If you’ve shared in the excitement of a human, being knitted together in its mother’s womb, you are without excuse. I had a very easy time coming to Christ. I needed Him. I was missing His presence in my life. Things were confusing and I needed answers. The pastor’s message and God’s Word took my disorganized thoughts and revealed a very organized purpose. Brian had more of a difficult time accepting. As a LEO, he found it difficult to hand over his authority to what he would claim was an unknown. He describes my coming to Christ as a light switch moment, while his was more of a dimmer switch journey. He needed concrete evidence to help him walk across the line to Christianity. (The Case For Christ, a book by Lee Strobel, was a critical read for Brian.) There is always more to the story for the Law Enforcement Officer: You say, If only people would just respect us and follow our orders, we are really here for their safety and most of the time we know what’s best. In a similar sense, God says, If only people would just be obedient, I can save them because I know what’s best. ...if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven , and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 Ultimately, He leaves you to choose. We are not puppets with a master who guides our strings, we have choices. Choices that draw you to Him or choices that are tempting and can promote a sinful lifestyle. God desires for you to look His way for His TRUE HOPE! More on this- FREE PDF - link in profile.

The world has been under the attack of the enemy. The chaos, the isolation, the confusion, the anger, the darkness- those are not attributes of God. We’re craving Jesus! Christmas decorating reminds us of the order and organization of all God’s plans. Jesus’ birth, death and resurrection, all within the skillful design by our Creator who washes away the feeling of chaos.... When we bring out the ornaments, the special plates, grandma’s favorite holiday recipe, we reminisce about holidays past, with family and friends, gathered together in unity and turn our focus on togetherness instead of isolation. As a child, Christmas may have been more about Santa than Jesus in our eyes, but maturity brought us to a point of understanding why the world just kind of stops for a minute, to take in the beauty of the Lamb of God, coming to earth as a babe in the manger, a perfectly executed and true story of God’s followers that were confused no more and laser focused on the restoration of the world. When we prepare our homes to share in the goodness of life and the hope of fellowship, the anger we’ve had for different thought processes just kind of fades away into the sounds of Christmas music and the scents of the season. Yes, replace the darkness with light. On our homes to shine brightly, in our doorways to welcome sweetly, brightening our meals to share generously and our glowing within our hearts to create a place for Jesus to be within us - allowing everyone to see His restoration that can begin again - one family at a time. Jesus is the Light of the world! I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. John 8:12 #decoratingforchristmas #earlychristmas #lightoftheworld #jesus #manger

I sat in that big tent of a church in the 1990’s and listened to Christian music that was surprisingly foreign but touched the areas in me that needed to be awakened. The lyrics used common words and phrases, a sweet combination of instruments and the addictive sound of their voices, singing with excitement and pure joy! I had never experienced this kind of worship before. I was raised on organ hymns, sounding very formal with a solemn tone, begging the listener to si...t still and soak in the seriousness. But, what I was experiencing now was a fresh breath of music - the beginning of how God worked very powerfully, meeting my need of release and pointing me upon a path that revealed more and more of this type of music. Of course, it meant blindly purchasing a CD and hoping that the vibe was palatable, but finding that as I pressed that CD into my car player it always satisfied the desire to sing and worship the Lord, which until then was non-existent. Speechless, by Steven Curtis Chapman, grabbed me early on. From this and similar songs, I was able to see God in a new way: Words fall like drops of rain My lips are like clouds I say so many things Trying to figure You out But as mercy opens my eyes My words are stolen away With this breathtaking view of Your grace And I am speechless I'm astonished and amazed I am silenced by Your wondrous grace You have saved me You have raised me from the grave And I am speechless in Your presence now I'm astounded as I consider how You have shown us A love that leaves us speechless Mercy, grace. I began to sing these songs aloud, much to my kid’s dismay-having to listen to my voice in the car, but a new and better melody filled our rides on the way to school on the daily. I would urge you to see if this could be a new avenue for you to become more familiar with the ways of the Lord. Music is not the only way, but I wonder if God could be directing you to begin listening? Especially today. Start with your local Christian radio station, then branch out to developing a list on Spotify, and so on. You are unique and God knows this! Explore the beauty of some meaningful music to your ears.

At one point in my early twenties, I was up to my earlobes in worry, doubt, debt, and seemingly not able to process this life I was living. It was a good life, an amazing life, it just came in like a freight train with roles that required much of a young woman. I took on the roles of becoming a law enforcement wife, the new family in-law, mommy of two littles, home owner and neighbor all within a four-year time period. Each and every one of these roles felt like a winter ...coat: one on top of the other, on top of the other, on top of the other. The fear and confusion that came with these new roles was overwhelming and I knew I wasn’t strong enough to handle providing for all of them mentally, physically and emotionally on my own. I was lost without answers...I felt buried under those coats, really. I didn’t know then that God was the answer to all of it. One day, I accepted the invitation to go to church with that bubbly neighbor of mine. I sat in the temporary tent of that very big church and listened to the Hawaiian shirt-wearing pastor claim the truths of the Bible. The words floated through my head like music to my ears. The people, the worship and the messages were all working some hardcore CPR into every part of my existence. Four months later, the message of Easter of 1993 seemed to be the medicine for my aching soul. I hung on every single word that day as if my life depended on it. Pastor Rick spoke of Christ setting us free, and free indeed! Free from guilt, worry, living purposelessly and free from having to earn my way to heaven. Free from thinking I could wrestle myself through whatever came my way. I was saved that day. Salvation that only exists because of Christ’s death on the cross. I went and found that very message today for YOU! It is only $4 through www.store.pastors.com , (no affiliation) search, Easter 1993: Experience Freedom This Easter. I implore you to download the message notes and listen to the MP4 - especially today - on this, a very heavy and confusing day that we cast our vote and are feeling the overwhelming chaos that only God can calm. For He is the true King! Be FREE indeed! Grace and Peace

It was the fall of 1992 and we were fortunate enough to buy a home in a new housing tract. Freshly poured cement driveways, dirt decorating the front yards and paint so fresh you could still smell it wafting through the air. It was right here where I met another mom with two small girls the same ages as mine, and she loved Jesus.... It was my first introduction to anyone who attended a non-denominational church, because I was raised Catholic and had only attended my home church up to that point. This woman was friendly, loving, exciting and kept saying that church was fun! Imagine my confusion at her statement , as I would have never described it as such. She encouraged me to attend her church a few times to check it out and I was sold. Hook, line and sinker I fell for the very intimate and beautiful love of Christ that was shown to me by the church, the pastor and the people. These two kids in this picture had no idea what was about to hit them I told you that I would share JESUS with you during this, my birthday month of November so stay tuned for a journey that has brought us to where we are today. I may lose some of you- but I may help others, answer some deep questions, take some shame off your shoulders and beautify your life with the love of our Savior. What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven - and the future starts now! 1 Peter 1:3-4 MSG

It’s November and officially my birthday month, so I’m giving YOU a gift ! LEOWs, listen up - I have a FREE PDF for you! Keep reading to find out Not only do I love all of YOU & LEO Marriages, but I LOVE how the Lord created a story for Brian and I to share in my book, OFFICER INVOLVED SPOUSE.... I would be nothing without Jesus- our marriage may be non-existent without Him as our cornerstone. God is mercy, forgiveness and complete acceptance for who you are and who you’ve been. You don’t have to clean up and you don’t have to measure up. Just look up and ask for help, He has good plans for you. Plans for Holy participation in a world that doesn’t ever make much sense. I’ll be sharing JESUS with you for the month of November. The FREEBIE is a PDF of chapter seven, Foundational Truth Download it, read it, share it with your spouse and your LEOW friends, that would simply be the BIGGEST and most generous gift to me! See our website (www.Peaksandvalleys.life) and go to the Officer Involved Spouse page where you can simply tap and receive the document. Please contact me with questions regarding Spiritual development for yourself and/or your marriage, for I would be most pleased to walk alongside you. Grace and Peace

Day 7 of the Bulletproof Devotional (@officialadamdavis , @youversion ) helped us identify that if we are grumbling, we are forgetting to be grateful for our spouse and likely taking them for granted. I am going to miss hearing from all of you as this was the last day of our study. Stay diligent and watchful, remembering the topics that were covered this week will serve you well for a lifetime of love. Reach out if you need any guidance, email me [email protected] f...or a personal, devoted, heartfelt piece of encouragement for whatever you’re going through. Gratitude: It is only with gratitude that life becomes rich. Dietrich Bonhoeffer Gratitude is an offering precious in the sight of God, and it is one that the poorest of us can make and be not poorer but richer for having made it. A.W. Tozer Be rich in love, generous with compliments and genuine in encouragement with each other. Be well- with grace and peace! #awtozer #dietrichbonhoeffer

Day 5 of the Bulletproof Devotional (@officialadamdavis @youversion ) called us to come together in marriage, in prayer, in life. ...but we have forgotten God....Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us. -Abraham Lincoln This proclamation was given during the National Day of Fasting, Humiliation and Prayer on March 30,1863 - but, I assume that you ...would agree it is timely for today as well. How fast we become our own god, idolize ourselves, pat each other on the back thinking we’ve somehow created our own wisdom...and forget God - that is until s*%t hits the fan. Then, we use prayer as the last resort, like some character in a movie gasping, All we can do now is p-p-pray... Yes, Brian and I are both Christians now, but it didn’t come easily. The road wasn’t a straight path, it was bumpy and scary. There were times where I thought my heart would break wide open for how much I wanted him to know Christ. My prayers were to a magic 8 ball god, pleading that Brian would become a husband who would lead me well and accept the role of a Christian husband. At the same time his talks to the Man upstairs were more like, Why is church taking her away from me so much, I just wish she would stop this Jesus thing. An older and wiser woman at church encouraged me to look at things a little differently. She taught me how to let go of the demanding (if he would just accept) prayer and begin THANKING God right now for HOW He has ALREADY worked out my story in light of His grace. God knows what will be for my good for His glory. The FAITH prayer. It gets you right in the gut. You have no power and no control over it, you are just thanking God for His sovereign ability to have already worked out everything that we humans continue to fret over. If you find the act of prayer with your spouse uncomfortable, maybe start by offering up some FAITH PRAYERS and begin to thank God together for how He has already worked in and through your conflicts as a couple to produce a beautiful story. We are with you and for you- grace and peace!

Day 3 of the Bulletproof Devotional (@officialadamdavis, @youversion ) gave us reason to check our method of communication. The officer *may* have an aggressive tone because it is that type of conversation that commands answers in their daily work situation. If those in their own household say or do the *wrong* thing, it could *possibly* trigger a feeling of disobedience. The spouse has most likely been at home holding down the fort, taking care of the home and the children,... while also worrying about their officer’s safety. This *may* trigger a defensive tone coming from your exhaustion- mentally and physically. When coaching on marital conversations, we often turn toward 2 Corinthians 2:15-16 that says, For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. These verses talk about the scent of burnt offerings that are pleasing to the Lord. The scent smelled beautiful for the victors, but for the defeated, it was a stench like death. So how do your conversations end up smelling? Are you mostly concerned about winning the argument? If you win, your spouse is deemed the loser and the rotten scent you leave behind could be deadly...to your relationship. So, how does the room smell when you leave a conversation? Skilled at verbal judo? A pro at sarcasm? Does joking deflect the core issue? What about your facial expressions and body language while flinging you favorite jab? I get it, we go the rounds with stuff like that, too. Really, we still do. But sometimes we react because we’re stressed and have been given no time to process. It’s ok to say, I’m frustrated, but I do agree we need to talk about_________, how about we schedule a chat in 30 minutes? Do you yell or talk flippantly with your boss? Probably not, because there would be jeopardy involved. Let there be that SAME feeling with your spouse and family members as well. They deserve your best and most kind -Tone of Love

Day 4 of the Bulletproof Devotional (@officialadamdavis @youversion) encouraged us to pray together. Gotta be totally honest here, when you’re in conflict with your spouse praying together is the most difficult thing to do. Also, can I go against the grain for a minute? We have gone to bed mad. I know, say it isn’t so... Let me take a jab at this and remind you and myself WHY we would pray together when things aren’t going well in our relationship.... Because you are in NEED. Let us the approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. You’re marriage is in need because you’re two unique individuals with different viewpoints and perspectives and you don’t always agree. Lifting those conflict concerns to the Lord can invite a sweet and grace-filled understanding of each other. You are in need because you follow Jesus and your spouse does not - living in this tension is uncomfortable and only the Lord can bring you peace within the process. You are in need because our culture has no respect for law and order and we want to lift our safety concerns to the Lord- only He can create organization out of chaos. You are in need because the church you once called home has turned a corner and bought into a belief system that you can’t follow - lifting this disappointment to Him may surprise you with an open door into a new direction of fellowship. Ask for His presence, prepare your hearts, grab a mentor couple that’s about 5 years ahead of the game (if you need)- and ask questions, heed wisdom, learn a new rhythm of prayer for you and your spouse, it can help build a beautiful and strong foundation that cannot be shaken by the ways of this world.

Day 1 of the Bulletproof Devotional started out fierce! @officialadamdavis says, For example, when you are spiritually disobedient to the commands God has given, you invite trust-killers into your marriage. Although many trust-killers are unrecognizable in the early stages, preemptive strategies can help thwart their continued operation. Marriage Trust Killers are anything that would serve to break the marital foundation. Lack of communication, anger, substance abuse, lu...st, adrenaline fixes... Because Peaks and Valleys is all about marriage mentoring, I’m gonna zero you in on a few helpful tips. CREATE a daily plan to meet with God. I love the @youversion app because there are options for lots of different types of devotionals. But, you may prefer a hard copy Bible to read out of or you may be the type to listen to podcasts/sermons/messages from pastors you’re comfortable with - whatever you do, get in front of God’s Word daily and ask Him to change your perspective so that you can live life more aware of His attributes that will eventually soak into who you are. MEET with your spouse once per week for about 30 minutes to nail down what the schedule will be for the next week. WRITE IT DOWN - yep, write everything down on a big, old fashioned calendar including tasks that need to be done and how you can help each other complete them. I know many of you said that the officer feels like their job is only at work if you’re a SAHM, and some of you said that your work full time as well. There is just something about putting it down on paper- the visual is quite shocking and very educational for the spouse who doesn’t realize what’s happening at home. COUCH TIME- you say all of your conversations end up in a fight? Well, if you try to sit together for about 15 minutes a day to talk about (one high, one low and one surprising thing that happened during your day) small stories, you are in essence practicing your communication skills. You’re chatting daily, not just when you have a big topic to dig into, so the anxiety is removed. (Don’t roll your eyes, try it before you poo-poo it ) Finances were also a topic- I have two words @daveramsey !

New Blog Post Alert: Celebrating the National Police Officer's Spouses Day!! LEOWs are the officers first line of defense, but also the first ones to hear about their shift - the good, bad and ugly of it all!

Be careful what you tend to. If what you’re watering takes root and grows in your life, there are definitely some things you would want to STARVE! Don’t water FEAR - it may produce anxiety.... Don’t water ANGER - it may result in damaged relationships. Don’t water BITTERNESS - you may grow an inappropriate perspective that could force your view towards something untrue. Whether or not you have a tested green thumb when tending to things in your life, or you’re new at learning how to process the events and circumstances that come your way - either way be sure to water only the areas in which you desire GROWTH: Water CONNECTION - reach out to people and see relationships grow. It is not always another person’s job to reach out to you...press against the uncomfortable and make the call. Water HEALTH - seek answers for growth in emotional, mental, spiritual and physical health. Take care of yourself...those close to you will be aware of the change and be very appreciative that you’ve stepped up to the plate in these areas of your life. Water LOVE - practice giving and receiving unconditionally. Be an investigator of your spouse, family, neighbors and friends...learn what they like, their desires, what gives them peace - this May grow acceptance and grace in a culture that needs to be infused with this type of goodness. Choose carefully what you water and what should starve, because you get to decide what grows the largest in your own life.

Chatting about forgiveness this week in our video class...go to previous post, too - to uncover a little more about what forgiveness IS. Perk your ears up, though... Forgiveness is NOT a REWARD for the offender - maybe look at it as a gift from one undeserving person to another.... Forgiveness is NOT an immediate reason to TRUST again, trust requires a track record, it is rebuilt over time. Forgiveness is NOT a WEAKNESS, it is a very strong and courageous person that can forgive- you’re making a good choice for your maturity and growth! Accept the process of refinement in your life (that requires some heat ) because having a consistent and forgiving nature displays God’s amazing and gracious love for us

There are psychological, physical and social benefits when you are able to forgive...but is it really THAT easy? Forgiveness is difficult, especially when it is required of you regarding your spouse, from whom you’ve felt betrayed, hurt or humiliated by. I almost shy away from making this just a small post, because there is so much to say about this topic. You almost HAVE TO dig deep when it comes to teaching about forgiving, repenting and recognizing your own sin.... Simply put, though, God commands the act of forgiving. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. Mark 11:25 We come to Christ in prayer and ask over and over again to be forgiven from our trespasses - Forgive me for _______ today, Lord ...I know that was against your ways, not who you want me to be, opposite of the way I want to display you in my life... the reasons go on and on in our prayers. Just think of what you are asking of the Lord, to have your sin completely removed (Jesus made this possibly by His death on the cross) and He forgives immediately, are you willing to do the same for the people in your life? Take the next step if this is laying heavy on your heart, it may not be easy but it’s necessary for your growth and definitely part of the marriage reconciliation process. Say the words... I FORGIVE YOU and see what an impact that can make upon another’s life. NOTE: This obviously does not apply if you are being physically, verbally or spiritually abused- please seek out the support/help of law enforcement, a local counselor or a trusted pastor to help you get to a safe place if this is part of your story.

Are you experiencing difficulties at home because of your reactions? It looks like this: losing your #temper, criticizing, yelling, crying, #blaming, #gaslighting and even #sarcasm. It produces this: people around you walk on eggshells, your friends hide their true opinions, it feels like #tension is always in the air, your family removes themselves from your presence.... Being #reactive is done in response to a perceived problem, and it usually is lead by pure #emotion and no thought- sometimes creating fear in those close to you. Being #proactive is preparing ahead of time, talking about the little stuff so that it doesn’t become big stuff, having a weekly family/marriage meeting so that the weekly #anxiety can be dissolved. Try this if you’re reacting: I need to process this for a little while. Let’s talk in about an hour. Then try this when things are cool: remind yourself of the things/topics that always #trigger you and create verbiage/strategies to #frontload it for the next time so that you can be proactive instead of reactive. Book avail: link in profile #rebuildyourmarriage #week6 #anger

If we could reach into your thoughts, we’d remove these first, as they just create pain in your marriage. #Easy ? Scripture seems to indicate that suffering is likely - true #joy comes from getting past the struggles, looking in the rear view mirror and giving God the glory for the victory! #Happy ? If you’re comparing your marriage to movies, books and other couples, it can create some real problems in your relationship. Set #goals for your own marriage, inviting God to d...esign them uniquely for you by His caring nature. #Soulmate ? There are a gazillion people in this world - abandon the idea that you missed the one meant for you. God made man for woman and in every relationship there is much work to do no matter who you’re married to. Don’t be disappointed or confused, when you walked down the aisle you were single, then as soon as the pastor pronounced you man and wife you became a spouse, regardless of whether or not you knew HOW to be one. Everyone is on a journey, give yourself some #grace. #rebuildyourmarriage #week6 #anger

Anger in marriage...lots of reasons why. #Anger is a secondary emotion, so what’s really bugging you? Threatened by a disagreement and can’t meet in the middle?... Your view is the only right view for the topic in question? Your family of origin expressed themselves in an angry manner, so you’re just following suit? Initially, (when you’re fired up) here’s what you can do so there’s no injury to the relationship:: * hold your tongue * think/wait to respond * ask for time to process * focus on the solution, not the problem * think about WHY you’re really mad * Finally, set your mind on things above, your old life is dead, your real life is in CHRIST (Col 3:1-5) #rebuildyourmarriage #week6

Hands down, the most difficult road to walk with the Lord is forgiveness. #Forgiveness is a commandment, it is a #blessing for those it’s bestowed upon and it is a #healing act, restoring inner well-being of the one who forgives. Forgiveness is not a reward for the offender, does not assume immediate trust again and it is not a weakness, it is an attribute of the #strong.... Because of Christ’s work on the #cross, and subsequent work in our lives, we can take stock of our own #sin that produces the need for #repentance and forgiveness, but also realistically allows us to see the sin in others’ lives, especially if we’ve been hurt. You NEVER have to turn a blind eye to sin or sweep something under the carpet - pretending is never a good way to proceed. Allow God to #refine you through your failings. Allow God to help you give eyes to see that your spouse is on a journey just like you are. If you need #grace, then also be prepared to give grace.

TRUTH! Last night we debriefed week 5 of the video series in #rebuildyourmarriage , covering the topic of #honesty and it got me fired up! Be honest with yourself: Walk away from that #tempting #relationship at work and go home. Honestly, all relationships have struggles, show your #maturity by recognizing this and healing the marriage that you’re in. The #reward will be beautiful ... Be honest with God: He is well aware of your thoughts and is able to #examine your heart, so pouring everything before the Lord is the best and most freeing act you could ever choose. Honestly, he wants to be your #refuge in times of trouble, you can #trust that if you walk in truthful #obedience, He will be walking alongside you Be honest with others: There is never a time when #passwords should not be available to your spouse. Honestly, what do you have to hide? You’re not fooling anyone, so begin today and wipe that slate clean Family of Origin: The way you were raised is not always the way you should proceed in your own marriage. Take a moment and ask yourself if there is any #unhealthy ideas about honesty are coming from your youth - it may be time to undo those with a Christian #counselor, one who can point you towards the Fatherhood of God in your life Contact us for more info on our #marriagecurriculum. It’s available for churches in a group setting, with a #discount if purchasing more than 10 copies. Link to website in bio... #marriage #marriagegoals #divorce #marriagementor #christian #christianmarriage #marriagehelp #marriagecounseling #staytogether #makeitwork #maturity

#thankapoliceofficer Thank you for serving the community you grew up in with such a swelling pride... Thank you for mentoring and guiding young Officers who were losing their way...... Thank you for learning the art of sharing your #streetcop stories with a nurturing heart, respecting my squeamish tendencies... Thank you for being kind when the statement at a dinner party was always, I got pulled over one time... or can you sign off my ticket?... and the conversation had to be steered back into truth and reality.... Thank you for keeping the smile on your face when you had to miss Christmas morning with the kids... Thank you for always being joyful even when Thanksgiving had to be postponed a day so we could enjoy it together.... Thank you for being intentional during weekly family time because weekends were work days... Thank you for working overtime so that we could afford special things for our family... Thank you for retiring when it was time, instead of barreling through to the very end - it’s such a blessing that you know yourself and kept a healthy perspective during your career... Thank you for asking the Lord into your life and into your plans - to be a #peacemaker is quite a calling and one that requires much obedience and His guidance throughout... Thank you for transitioning from #lawenforcement to #retirement with few hiccups, ready to do #marriageministry together... You are my true #hero

LEOW’s Social media has it’s time and place, but when the big one hits - you need a solid, IN-PERSON support system to be the salve that calms your weary heart. Does your department have a spousal/family support group? Have YOU thought of beginning one? Yes, you...... It has been a welcomed comfort to many spouses/family members in our @huntington_beach_police department during these seasons when alertness has been stepped up and some are feeling a bit on edge. We have some easy steps and free PDF’s on our website: Peaksandvalleys.life #spousalsupport #familysupport #policelivesmatter #bluelivesmatter

Couples who shoot together, stay together! Beware: this is no sappy anniversary post! Marriage is real-life, some struggles, some wins, but always joyful knowing we’re married to our best friend - and able to get through the tough stuff to a state of sweet contentment.... High school sweethearts and a lifetime of love, seasons of disagreements, differences of opinions and just being generally irked sometimes. However, we pressed through to the other side and now are thankful to experience softer communication and use biblical tools to be kind and display the aroma of Christ in our conversations....trust us, it’s MUCH better when you can grasp how much God loves you and desires selflessness in order to love on your spouse. It’s the true reflection of His grace in our lives...because we cannot do it alone. Happy 32 years to us!

Prayers for safety, resilience, courage, steadfastness, boldness and grace as you walk out the life of a #peacemaker . Retired, yes- but you can never get that feeling out of your bones...these men and women will always be your #bluefamily . We are with you and for you - reach out to us here or through our contact page on website. We would be happy to listen and offer #leofamily and #leomarriage support from a 32 year #lawenforcement career.

Please stop. You’ve chosen the wrong enemy to fight against. Even with the turn of events in our country, and even though they are spit at and continue to be hit with hurled objects, they will still come when you call. Although it make us ill to think about the hate that is being spewed, we still pray.... Pray for the officers who meet with hundreds of people per day. Pray for the department administers as they make their tough decisions. Pray for the families of the officers, especially those fighting for their lives. Pray for our beautiful USA, our free nation, a place where the majority of people are proud, and only a few of the mad & loud ones are tainting the minds of many. It’s a sign of the times, but we continue to lift our concerns to the Lord, our Father in heaven who sees all and knows all, our Prince of Peace who has extraordinary plans for His children, the King of all Kings is our God. He is the only one to be adorned and worshiped.

...It is an impatient, inattentive listening, that despises the brother and is only waiting for a chance to speak and thus get rid of the other person. Dietrich Bonhoeffer Ouch That stings!... Be selfless when listening to your spouse. Don’t go with the easy route, (wide gate) really take the time to slow down, mind your manners, let them know you’re there for the entire talk. (narrow gate) Matthew 7:13-14 Some things to remember: Be patient w/o rebuttals. Be attentive, stop other tasks. Be servant hearted &humble. Be an active listener with attentive body language and kind facial expressions. Confirm what you believe you heard by providing feedback. #rebuildyourmarriage #week4 #listening #dietrichbonhoeffer

Study His Word to be familiar with His voice. John 10:27 He can help you make wise choices. Titus 2:11-14 He will confirm you’re abilities and talents. Ephesians 2:10... Remember: listening to God may bring conviction, but never condemnation. Romans 8:1 Note: Condemnation is pure evil, it attacks your values and says, You are worthless. Revelation 12:10 Never agree with the lies of the enemy...God has GOOD things to say over you! His words help you mature, grow, be aware, nurture others, live uprightly. #rebuildyourmarriage #week4 #peaksandvalleys

We will never forget that many people lost friends, coworkers and family members that day. The fear that shot through us, realizing our fragility, woke us up to the appreciation that we live in a country that will defend its honor. #911 #firstresponders #newyorkcity ... #brave #heroes See more

Officers have seen, heard, smelled, yelled commands and touched the lives of many during your years of service. Critical incidents require appropriate, trauma-informed counseling and peer support. **Officer Involved Spouse**... Chapter Four- The Painful Reality Link in Bio #suicideprevention #suicidepreventionmonth #suicideawarness #traumasupport #peersupport #lawenforcementsupporter #mentalhealth #criticalincident #ptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdrecovery #ptsdsupport #leo #leow #policefamily #sheriff #policelivesmatter

The Family Dinner Table It is where you come together and look into the eyes of your people. They’re home. They’re safe. They’re together. Sitting in one place and giving each other attention, listening and offering empathy to the stories of the day - that may contain either joy or grief, while filling and satisfying their tummies.... Even if only for the length of time it takes to share a meal, it is a priceless time when raising kids, building a family and healing a marriage. While meeting with marriages, we often bring this practice up as a foundational building block to family connection, because sometimes during a marriage crisis, more than the spousal relationship is affected. The consistency and care that is shown when preparing, sharing and cleaning up after a meal together can be a crucial component to showing your spouse that you are willing to do the work it takes to rebuild and sustain a lasting and loving marriage. Do you have this as a typical practice in your home? Do you believe it would it help if you planned just a few family meals per week? If so, are you open to trying?

It’s not cool to dish the hubby dirt to your girlfriends...even on those wine nights. YOU carry the responsibility of modeling to your family, friends and neighbors what it looks like to respect your husband and his authority within your marriage. #mutualrespect in marriage- isn’t that a beautiful thing? ... Not because he demands it, but (hopefully and prayerfully) because he has displayed the kind of character that you would willingly respect and follow. But, you’re #unequallyyoked - you say? I get it, we were too, take a listen to OUR STORY on the front page of our website. (Peaksandvalleys.life) The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 (Msg) #winenight #dishthedirt #responsibility #character #respect #holiness #masterpiece #purposedrivenlife

We’re wired to work, it’s good for the soul #happylaborday Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:22-25... #labordayweekend #hardwork #hardworkpaysoffs work #workfromhome #workinprogress #serve #servethelord #serving #ambition #pride #prize #win #inheritance #reward #colossians