Paola Caraker-Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Couples Dance of Disregulation . . Neuroscience shows that humans develop their abilities for emotional self-regulation through connections with reliable caregivers who soothe and model in a process called co-regulation. . . This concept does not just apply to children and caregivers but in any relational dynamic . ... . . . This is especially true for couples ! Beneath words and content matter is a relational dance between TWO nervous systems . . . . It important that people learn skills to self regulate during times of conflict and negative hyperarousal BUT also learn strategies to co regulate. . . To be able to notice that you are in a DANCE and seek support from your partner to regulate and even learn to be a TEAM against this DANCE of DISREGULATION , then you have an opportunity to have a somatic reparative experience that can heal past traumas and build trust . Thursday Thought. What DANCE are you and your partner dancing ? . . . #couplestherapy #couplestherapist #coregulation #dance #attachments #attachmentstyles #therapistsofinstagram #nervoussystem #nervoussystemregulation #emotions #performance #thursdaythoughts #samesexcouple #trauma #traumarecovery #love #loveeachother #compassion #beateam #counselorsofinstagram #mentalhealth #somaticexperiencing #somaticmovement . #dancetherapy

Wellness Wednesday . . Wellness is an ACTIVE process of becoming aware of and making choices toward a healthy and fulfilling life. .... . Wellness is more than being free from illness, it is a Dynamic process of change and growth. . . Wellness is also about learning to have self compassion and not trying to subscribe to others perceptions/beliefs about how you should nurture each of these dimensions . . . Take a look at these dimensions and start to ponder, wonder and consider how YOU may want to continue or begin engaging in the ACTIVE process of nurturing these dimensions. . . . . #wellness #wellnesswednesday #spiritual #physical #educational #vocation #financial #physical #environment #social #youchoose #selfcompassion #wednesday #healthylifestyle #active #dynamic #healthychoices #choice #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #counselorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #sportspsychology #performance #engage #nurture #chooseyou #growthmindset #change #grow #balancedlife See more

What story are you telling yourself? HAVE too’s can feel like Opression SHOULDS can feel like guilt and shame... I CHOOSE too’s and I GET too’s can feel empowering and like you have agency and gratitude. What story are you telling yourself ? I have to do the laundry ( ugh I feel oppressed and resentful ) I should do the laundry ( feeling shameful and guilty if I consider not doing it ) I choose to do the laundry ( I have agency and choice and voice in my life and feel empowered ) I get to do the laundry ( I feel grateful that I have a task that can lead me to feel like I have purpose. I’m grateful I have laundry I can even wash ). The story you tell yourself about the things you do and think will impact your emotional experience . Remember from yesterday’s post that Neurons that Fire together Wire together. the stories you are telling yourself about your performance, job, chores, others , and self will help wire your brain into continuing to believe those things. . . . . #perspective #stories #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mandala #businesslogo #thursdaythoughts #thursday #tellyourstory #therapistsofinstagram #counselorsofinstagram #anxietyrelief #depressionhelp #love #relationship #couplestherapy #neurobiology #cbt #changeyourmindset #changeyourthinking #gratitude #guilt #emdr #emdrtherapy #negativethoughts #sportspsychology

Monday Blues..... * Got the Blues? * Feeling Blue?... Where does this term come from and why? *Theories Include : reference to lack of oxygen . Blue in the lips . Lacking life. referring to rain and storms. referring to an old naval custom of flying a blue flag or painting a blue band along the side of a ship to honor the loss of a ship captain. sadness and melancholy BUT.... what are the positive references to the color Blue ? Blue is my favorite color and I like to remember that it also represents the following: the color of the sky and sea calm,loyal and a sense of peace and security refers to the throat chakra and it’s connection to communication often nostalgic the color of truth the color of bravery So are YOU feeling Blue? I sure am post your favorite BLUE picture and Tag a friend that makes you feel BLUE in a positive way . . .#mondayblues #chakras #blue #meloncholy #feelingblue #depression #therapistsofinstagram #calm #serenity #communicate

Happy World Athletics Day! It’s easier to learn how to Win then to learn how to loose.... ************************************************ One of the biggest challenges that my athletic clients face is when they’ve had a performance trauma, lossor sports injury take them down. *********************************************** It’s hard if you’ve always been the best and the all of a sudden you are humbled by a fail. ********************************************** Learning to humble yourself and practice how to repair, heal and gain strength through ones losses and traumas is important. ********************************************** If one hasn’t learned coping strategies and distress tolerance when faced with a loss then it’s going to be even harder to get back up. #happyworldathleticsday2020 #happyworldathleticsday #athletes #performanceenhancement #sportspsychology #performancecoaching #tennis #tennisgirl #sportstrauma #learnhowtoloose #humbling #sportstraining #emdrtherapist #counselingforathletes #counselorsofinstagram #mentalhealthawareness #dontgiveup #winning

May is mental health awareness month ************************************************ With Covid -19 nearly half of Americans are reporting a negative impact on their mental health with shelter in place orders and yet most people have not been able to access mental health services for various reasons. *********************************************** Unfortunately seeking mental health services continues to carry stigma. ... ********************************************** What if we all viewed having a therapist as normal? Like a product or service that we made sure to make time for and put into our budget just like we would to get our hair done, attend a fitness class or buy our favorite treat? ************************************************ In addition to valuing helping clients who are greatly suffering from depression, anxiety and trauma I LOVE helping people When they are WELL too. Therapy can help you navigate love and dating. Therapy can be used for performance enhancement for athletes and creatives Therapy can help you navigate career choices and improve work relationships . Maybe one day it’ll be as normal to talk and share Instagram pages of mental health providers as it is to share and visit Instagram pages of other services, products, and providers. #therapyiscool #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #therapy #whosyourtherapist #covid19mentalhealth #depressionhelp #suicideprevention #anxiety #anxietyrelief #mentalperformancecoach #emdrtherapy #emdrtherapist #selfcare #nonnegotiable #dontwaituntilitstoolate #therapyisthenewblack #thedoctorisin #therapymemes #terapia #saludmental #prevencaoaosuicidio #wellnesswednesday

EMDR Calm Place and Butterfly Hug grounding exercise now available to you on You Tube Today I took a big step in regards to being vulnerable and stepping outside my comfort zone. I created and posted my first instructional video on my You Tube channel . I didn’t realize how hard it is to video and WATCH myself trying to speak in an unscripted way and not screw it up. There were so many takes and the sign kept falling on my head when the wind would blow ... Then add the fact that I’m not techy and had to edit the video . So please visit my You Tube channel and like and subscribe so you can have access to further videos . Oh and please be gentle with your feedback . This was a first for me https://youtu.be/xeLIK3nYVXw. #vulnerable #takingsteps #goals #youtubechannel #emdrcalmspace #emdrbutterflyhug #emdrtherapist #counselingforathletes #sportsandmentalhealth #emdr #emdria #firstresponders #mentalhealth #calming #anxietyrelief #holistictherapist #treehouse #treehousetherapy #mandala #aromatherapy #bathandbodyworksstressrelief #learningsomethingnew #covid_19mentalhealth #therapistsofinstagram #therapist #treehousezen

Did you know that walking is an easy way to create Bilateral movement for emotional regulation and regulation of the nervous system ? After 3 days of barely any movement I was feeling lethargic,irritable and creatively stuck. My best ideas , reflections , and goals usually come during walks. For so long I subscribed to the idea that exercise only counted if I sweat, got my heart rate up and burned calories. ... These days exercise counts no matter what! I love HIIT classes, tennis boxing jogging and intense movement but it’s important to remind myself that intense workouts can still trigger a flight or fight response in the body that can leave one actually less healthy and even put on weight from increased cortisol production. During this pandemic I’m moving less than ever and challenging myself to find calm and acceptance in this new way of being in the world. No more tennis matches, boxing, 4:30am gym workouts, etc etc. I now look forward to a walk and view it as my therapy. It’s my time to listen to music, get in some sunlight, get away from anyone needing anything from me, get away from being an audience to words, to reflect and to get some bilateral movement. Go find your bilateral movement today. #bilateralmovement #emdrtherapist #somaticmovement #holistictherapist #walking #justmove #sportsandmentalhealth #counselingforathletes #covid_19 #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #therapistlife #exercise #selfcare #selfcaresaturday #counselorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #quarantinelife

Stages of Grief I never get fancy sunglasses because I don’t take very good care of them . My new puppy just chewed up my most recent pair so I just got a new pair at Target. I stood in the parking lot for 10 minutes trying so hard to take off the stupid sticky tag and it just wouldn’t come off . Coincidentally I bought a new pair of scissors BUT I didn’t have any scissors to open up the scissors pack I felt like I was going through the stages of grief... within minutes 1) DENIAL . This can’t be happening 2) BARGAINING oh wait I have scissors! I’m sure there’s still a way. 3) ANGER. WTF . No scissors to open up the scissors that I need to take off this tag! 4) SADNESS: I legit stood there with a pouty sad face and a lady walked by and stared judgingly. Well maybe she was just staring because I had half my face mask hanging off 5) ACCEPTANCE : whatever who cares it’s not like anyone is going to see you. You’re just wearing them in the car to protect your eyes till you get home. So I put them on tag and all and looked in the mirror and I could t believe what the tag says A NEW DAY wow ....well if that ain’t symbolic. Everyday is A New Day. A new day to conquer the world, work through stages of grief, just try to get out of bed and show up and a new day to practice self compassion and repair. You know maybe I’ll just keep the tag on these glasses to remind me of this moment . For now I can check off buy new sunglasses off my Worry Pad . Lol #instagramposts #stagesofgrief #fashionfriday #blackandwhiteselfie #anewday #newsunglasses #justshowup #selfcompassion #lessonsinthelittlethings #covid19grief #therapist #traumatherapist #emdrtherapist #therapistfashion #therapistinheels #wearthetag #conquertheworld #everyisanewday #dontgiveup #targetstyle #targetfinds #targetsunglasses #targetfashion #frigalfinds #frugalmom #puppychewedmyglasses