OliveMe Counseling

Congratulations! You read my previous post about finding a therapist, and scheduled your initial consultation call! (If you haven’t yet, I got you covered :: https://buff.ly/3hTbd30) So now that the consult call is on your calendar, what now? Your heart may be beating faster because you're not quite sure what to expect, what to say, how much to say, etc. ... No fear! Here's a blog about how to prepare for that first call. https://buff.ly/2MJsdNG therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

COMPASS, not DESTINATION. Still thinking about setting a New Year's Resolution? Or haven't bothered to set one because of past attempts? TBBH (to be brutally honest), chances are that New Year's Resolutions are broken by the end of this quarter, NOT because you're a failure, but because resolutions are outcomes-oriented and motivation-driven. You set a goal and have a burst of motivation in the beginning of the year to pursue it for a few days, a few weeks, MAYBE a few month...s. But once that motivation dies out (or life throws a million things at you and you get overwhelmed), you've got no juice left to continue the race. Then you feel like a failure and give up altogether, 'cause "What's the point of trying? I'm going to mess up anyway." (continue reading in blog: link in bio!) #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

Feeling overwhelmed by a million things that seem both important and urgent? Triage (which means to sort) is a way by which you can categorize what needs your best attention. Click here to learn how to declutter and focus with the triage chart! https://buff.ly/3be2asa therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

Did the holidays stir up some difficult feelings about yourself, relationships, or life? Wanting to practically implement the vision you have for your life or sharpen your people skills? Or needing to process what’s happening in the world today? Therapy isn't reserved only for when shit hits the fan (though it can certainly be helpful for those moments). Therapy is a space reserved specifically for you, where you can take off all the masks you wear, reconnect with your core, ...breathe more easily, and grow into all you could become. Most people make a doctor's appointment when something's broken, but it would probably save them a lot of headache, heartache, and bankache to make more routine visits. In the same way, therapy should be like going in for your annual check up (more specifically for topics such as emotional health, relationships, and personality patterns). If things are going well, great! Then you know what to keep doing and make smaller adjustments on how to become healthier. If things are not going well, then you'd know how to take proactive measures to shift your trajectory. If you're open to checking out therapy but don't know where to start, check out this blog that outlines your path step-by-step. Take care of you, because you really do matter! https://www.olivemecounseling.com/blog/therapist-san-jose #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

Pruning is the process of proactive endings, or the art and science of cutting away what does NOT belong to the optimal end goal. In order for a rose bush to reach its full blooming potential , three types of branches must be cut : (1) Dead branches that are just taking up space and are interfering with other branches. (2) Sick branches that aren’t getting well, despite efforts to make them healthy.... (3) Healthy branches that are good but aren’t the best. What branches do you need to cut in your life so that you can THRIVE? Though goodbyes are just as essential to life as hellos, many tend to avoid them for various reasons (Henry Cloud found eleven). Is your heart longing for more in your life but also terrified of the steps to make it a reality? Check out the blog:

https://buff.ly/39yvV6g Tired of painful relationships caused by emotional reactivity? Learn how to identify and work out of your reactive "autopilot mode" through the Enneagram and Brainspotting Therapy so that you can create vibrant relationships from your grounded, wise, and rested self. I'm Joanne Kim, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in San Jose, CA, who helps those who are EXHAUSTED by anxiety, guilt, shame, and an allergic reaction to anger create vibrant relations...hips where they matter, too! https://buff.ly/3qcu8cK therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

When was the last time you checked in with your body? With all the things that are buzzing in the air, the emotions that stir, and the anxieties that fog up our minds, it might be easy to forget that it's been a while since you've anchored in your body. When your thoughts and your emotions can totally be everywhere else but right here and now, your body can only be at one place at one time. Your body may have also been holding onto a ton of stress responses from all that's g...one on this year. This Thanksgiving, give credit to your body that's been holding you up this entire time. How do you thank your body? Do a scan of your body, and notice whatever areas that are experiencing any kind of tension, pressure, or sensation. Notice whatever is there, then either go for a massage (a tennis ball against the wall might do the trick), do some nice long stretches, or take a warm, unhurried bath. Whatever is outside of our bodies may be outside of our control, but we have a lot more ability to manage how we treat our bodies. Work WITH, not AGAINST, your body. Y'all will be partners for a long, long time. #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

The holidays aren't so happy for everyone. In a time when there is an expectation for close connections and celebration, many of us experience these painful relationship dynamics instead. Because these don't fit the "norm", it's all too easy to not talk about it, leading to even more isolation and shame. The holidays are a time of the year when I have the most people reaching out for therapy. Stress runs high, and "SHOULDS" run the show. Anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, and num...bness are the main emotions that ramp up, often because there are blurred or violated boundaries. With greater stress comes greater reactivity, leading to messy situations that have no clean cut right answers or how tos. If this sounds like you, you're definitely not alone. Don't believe the Facebook or Instagram highlight reels that show all these magical pictures of happy families and marriages - these are often manicured and polished images. No one really knows what's going on behind the scenes, and you're not all the more worse and broken because you might not resonate with what you see. If this time of year is really hard for you, give yourself permission to take it easy. Get yourself a nice, plushy blanket (a weighted blanket is a plus!), stock up on your favorite beverages, take these apps off your phone if you find yourself getting triggered, watch some comforting movies, and cry into a pillow if you feel like it. Whatever helps your body release the stress, do that. (Note: for numbing behaviors, including Netflix-binging or drinking, use it in moderation. You WILL have to address the pain at some point in time, so overly numbing may drag on the process of healing. But you don't need to drown in pain either - give yourself permission to watch your favorite TV series, and DO ENJOY IT rather than passively tuning out and judging yourself afterwards.) Take good care of yourself, and reach out to a therapist in your area if you need the extra support. #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

When you think about the holidays, what comes up for you? Contrary to the social media posts all these connections and fun experiences that others have (you know, the ones that stir up major FOMO), most people have a lot of hard, painful things that they wouldn't dare to post about. Like romantic or friendship breakups or estranged relationships. Or dreading seeing relatives. Or not having enough money to buy gifts or turn on the heating. Or estranged relationships. Or feelin...g like another year's zoomed by and feeling like a loser because you don't think you made much of this year because you're depressed. Wherever you are, this is REAL. And Human. The stuff above? I've been there. Historically, holiday season has been the worst time of the year for me. Sometimes, when others around me seemed to be having a great time, I felt even more alone and even more worthless. If any of the above-ish descriptions sound familiar, I see you. You're not alone, and you're DEFINITELY not crazy for feeling whatever you're feeling. During this upcoming season, be extra gentle on yourself. You're going through A LOT, especially in areas where you're suffering silently. You matter, period. Please treat yourself accordingly. #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

If you feel RELIEVED from recent news, the STRESSOR is gone, but not the STRESS. Don’t be surprised if your body crashes in the next few days because it was just holding up with so much adrenaline and cortisol coursing through your veins, just to push through. When the STRESSOR is dealt with, it’s time to deal with the STRESS. Get a copy of this book (or listen to the podcast episode on Unlocking Us). ... Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle https://smile.amazon.com//ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_gZTPFbYDG37

Brainspotting (BSP) is a way to jumpstart our bodies’ natural ability to process experiences reactive emotional experiences like anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and shame, heal from trauma, and enhance significant relationships. Learn how Brainspotting works, and what benefit Brainspotting therapy may offer you so that you can feel grounded and present to engage life to the fullest. https://buff.ly/2GwoPCQ Want to learn more? Link in bio! ... #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

Online therapy (AKA telehealth) is a fantastic way to get the support you need from the comfort of your own home! I’ve had online therapy for myself for some time, and it’s been a gamechanger for my own mental, emotional, and relational health. Let’s get you some extra care! https://buff.ly/2ZvEXdh #therapyinPJs #onlinetherapy #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #personaldevelopment

Greenery is great for the #highlysensitiveperson #HSP soul. Have you gone outside today, even for a quick 5 minutes? Give your eyes a break, and your soul a breath. #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

Back in the office from a week away, but time seems to have stopped! How shall I interpret this? When was the last time you took some time TO yourself FOR yourself (maybe even BY yourself) to relax and recharge? Healthy nervous systems need both time for activity and time for INactivity! #therapy #brainspotting #hsp #highlysensitiveperson #enneagram #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #grounding #selfcare

https://buff.ly/2Fy0dJt Have you ever noticed where your eyes go when you’re thinking about something painful? Joyful? Sad? You may have seen people stare off into space, deeply reflecting on something. They're not really looking AT anything, but just off into the distance in that direction. That may be an example of Brainspotting (specifically called gazespotting), which is a way by which the body is trying to process through a memory and the emotions and thoughts related to... it. When we see others doing this, we often wonder, "Are they okay?" and shake them out of it. Sometimes, we might be hurt or offended and say "Are you listening to me?" because it seems like they're not (to be fair, they probably aren't, so it's okay for you to feel hurt). In shaking the person, they might be able to "come back" to present reality to engage whatever is in front of them (i.e., continue the conversation, work, drive). However, THAT they're doing it isn't bad per se. THAT they're often in a daze or daydreaming might indicate that their body is needing an intentional regular space to sort through their internal experiences. The issue is they might be doing it at inappropriate times (e.g., in the middle of work) or that they might get stuck doing it by themselves (e.g., they become intensely triggered, unable to soothe themselves). They're probably needing someone to serve as an anchor for them as they're doing a deep dive into their unconscious. They need someone who's trained to be attuned to them and pull them out of processing when it's time. Brainspotting therapy would be a great resource for them. Want to learn more? Link in bio! #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

COMPASS, not DESTINATION. We're three quarters through the year! This year might have turned out like NOTHING you imagined, and the beginning of the year might feel like it was eons ago. If you set a New Year's Resolution, chances are that you broke it by now, NOT because you're a failure, but because resolutions are outcomes-oriented and motivation-driven. You set a goal and have a burst of motivation in the beginning of the year to pursue it for a few days, a few weeks, MA...YBE a few months. But once that motivation dies out (or life throws a million things at you and you get overwhelmed), you've got no juice left to continue the race. Then you feel like a failure and give up altogether, 'cause "What's the point of trying? I'm going to mess up anyway." Continue reading in blog: https://www.olivemecounseling.com/blog/intentions #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

If your loved ones are feeling really overwhelmed with MESSY FEELINGS like anxiety, anger, or sadness, here’s one way to help them anchor themselves to the present and reconnect with their body using the five senses. https://www.olivemecounseling.com/blog/sensory-recall #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace... #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement See more

It's not easy being fully present when there are a million and one things going on inside your head, outside your head, or both. And yet, being fully present can be the antidote to a lot of the emotional reactivity you can feel - whether MAD, GLAD, SCARED, NUMB, or ASHAMED. Where are you today? Are you your whole self? Or is a part of you (or many parts of you) elsewhere? Gently invite parts back so that you can fully inhabit your whole body for a solid 3-5 minutes. Notice w...hat that's like...What comes up for you? Do this grounding exercise regularly throughout the day. If you're finding yourself having difficulty gathering all your parts, ask: What's that about? What is getting in the way? What am I needing in this moment so I can be a *bit* more grounded/present? #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

Drop anonymous questions here: https://buff.ly/32i4d8k. I’ll be answering questions over the next week! Can’t wait to hear from you! #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

In the past few weeks, I've introduced John Gottman's concept of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (which destroy relationships) and their corresponding Four Antidotes. Here are what each of the pairings look like in your close relationships! https://www.olivemecounseling.com/blog/antidotes

Last week, I covered "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse", which signal the end times of a relationship. Each of "The Four Antidotes" provide the way to reverse the negative cycle and strengthen the relationship to be healthier than ever before. Which of the four antidotes do you need? How can you heal and strengthen your connections? https://www.olivemecounseling.com/blog/antidotes #therapy #enneagram #brainspotting #HSP #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram4 #enneagram9 #highlysensitiveperson #emotions #anxiety #anger #sad #emotionalhealth #relationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #sanjosetherapist #onlinetherapist #trauma #neuroscience #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attunement #attachment #grief #grounding #selfhelp #regulation #peace #personaldevelopment

The king lives on. May a generation of leaders who are deep in compassion, wisdom, courage, and true strength carry his legacy. RIP, Chadwick Boseman. #blackpanther #wakandaforever