Linda Esposito LCSW

Originally titled, When "Do What's Best For the Kids" Doesn't Work in Divorce. Sounds simple, but it's the wrong way to view the dynamic in high-conflict couples. My latest from Psychology Today , hope you find it useful.

Our neighborhood is experiencing an upsurge in ill coyotes showing up in broad daylight, on front yards clearly exposed. Mange (from ingesting rat poison) causes painful mites that burrow under their skin and fur falls out. Too ill to hunt prey, they are disoriented and desperate for food and water. Myself and others are communicating with a wildlife organization to track them so medicated food and water can be provided. Not surprising, a few neighbors want them hazed, hunte...d and killed. I found this picture (source unknown) and decided to post to remind myself and anyone who needs to hear this most people possess good will.

Humor + humility make a great marriage, post-divorce. Also, processing the grief and pain, and taking responsibility for your part in the marriage. Especially, if co-parenting. . . . A few questions to ask yourself:... What attracted me to this person originally? What were the red flags I ignored? Who does this person resemble in my family of origen? Hint: may be a hybrid-model What life lessons have been forced upon me? How will I know if I fall back into the same unhealthy relationship patterns? *Bonus: I will show grace by____________________ going forward. Image: @whatever via YouTube . . . . #divorceparty #coparenting #psychotherapy

It's the title.

According to research published by The Journal of Affective Disorders, a correlation exists between anxiety and impulsive behaviors. This is largely due to an inability to delay gratification and intolerance for uncertainty. Examples of giving in to impulsivity include: abusing substances or self-medicating, self-injury, avoidance of unpleasant situations, physical or verbal aggression, excessive social media or other media use to the extent that responsibilities are negle...cted, etc. Do this: 1. Stay in the fray of your frazzled feeling state. While the tendency may be to get calm, your worries alert you about something which needs to change. Think of this as a mini-meditation for increasing self-awareness. 2. Sit in silence, close your eyes and pay attention to your body. Where do you feel stress? Is it your stomach, your head, your chest area? Where do you hold tension? Make a conscious effort to breathe into those areas of stress and replace the heaviness with relaxation. 3. Settle on one small action you can do which will bring you one step closer to solving your problem. Anxiety loves avoidance, so beat it at its own game and start acting. Set a timer for 10 minutes and completely immerse yourself in this step. Clear all distractions and focus on your goal (if you’re stuck, start with what you’ve been avoiding and what specifically bothers you about uncertainty... 4. Write down one task you will complete tomorrow to stay on the action track. Get specific and hold yourself accountable. Repeat this process daily so you develop a nice habit. Challenges can be all-consuming or all-empowering. The goal is not necessarily to be calm, but to handle daily stress better and to find the right side of ‘in control’ quicker. You got this

Takes guts, grit and mental strength to reach out for help (cultural factors, mores and stigma aside). The pandemic has forced a collective reckoning with the voices in our heads...some have listened, others not so much. If you are in a relationship with someone who chastises you for going to therapy, baby, take that as the single most telling sign of all.... . . . #exitstrategy See more

Few life events are as stressful as a divorce, especially when conflict runs high and the kids are watching. Whether you’re seeking counseling because it’s mandated by family court, or because you and your ex decided mutually, choosing the right therapist is essential. As a co-parenting counselor whose job sometimes includes undoing the psychological damage caused by well-intentioned but inexperienced, non-informed therapists, I am passionate about setting the record straigh...t. The best clients take responsibility for their treatment. Before embarking on your search, I recommend conducting thorough research. Therapists come with different educational backgrounds, different training, different degrees, and different licenses... For the rest of my @psych_today article, copy and paste: https://bit.ly/3jdj7VH . . . #coparenting #narcissisticabuse #familylaw #parentalalienation

*Caveat: Recognition for all the essential workers risking their health and lives on a daily basis. #gratitude Never one to overstate my importance in my clients lives...Though, realized I hit the proverbial wall at the almost 11-month mark of pandemic. Psychotherapy is a largely isolated profession, especially in private practice. ... The sheer amount of mental stamina every 50-minute session takes a toll. Be that as it may, I keep going back to the question of if I’m struggling with the unwelcome thoughts, how are my fellow clinicians, and our clients processing the overwhelm? . . . .

Ironic, or not, that mental health and problems are interrelated. Life is easy when things are going well, but a variety of coping skills to deal with those ‘fuuuuuuuuck’ days are King and Queen. Slow and steady will get you up that mental health mountain faster.