Jennifer Dobes

I love this. So good!!

Adolescent depression is very real and not only does it feel incapacitating to teens who suffer from it, it can also cause those close to them to feel scared and helpless. This blog post written by my husband presents some helpful advice and addresses some very important points. If you have teens in your home, or if you interact with them in any capacity, please take the time to read this! https://mikedobes.com//5-steps-to-connect-with-teens-bat/

Our community is grieving in the wake of the terrible tragedy at Borderline Bar and Grill last night. I hope and pray that we will come together and love and serve each other well over the days and months to come. If you or someone you know is seeking information about a loved one, a local hotline has been set up: (805) 465-6650. Also, a family reunification center has been established at the Thousand Oaks Teen Center.

Any time I'm out and about, whether at the grocery store, going to church, picking my kids up from school, or wherever else I may be, I always make it a point to be friendly to the people around me. What never ceases to amaze me is how many people are caught off guard by that. Often it is difficult to make eye contact, because most people are looking down at the ground, are focused on their phones, or are doing everything they can to avoid actual human interaction. What I hav...e found, though, is that if I'm able to make eye contact, smile, and even say a quick, "Good morning," people have one of two reactions: they either get flustered because friendliness by strangers so rarely happens and they don't know what to do with it, or they are very pleasantly surprised and I get a great big smile and friendly greeting back. It saddens me that we as human beings, who so desperately need connection with others, spend so much time avoiding exactly that! And oh how satisfying it is when I see that my simple smile or quick hello has brightened someone's day. So I am asking you to join me in "a simple smile." Let's be intentional with this and see how many smiles we can offer and how many days we can brighten. Are you with me? See more

"I just don't feel like..." How many times does that phrase go through our minds when we are faced with the choice to do or not do something? Often it seems like the very thing that we need to do, or would be best for us to do, is the thing we least want to do at that moment! Let me explain what I mean... It could be something as simple as knowing that our bodies need for us to eat healthy foods and get regular exercise, but what we might feel like doing is eating junk food w...hile sitting around playing silly games on our devices or binge watching our favorite TV shows. Or maybe we're having a difficult conversation with someone we care about and what we feel like saying at that moment would be more damaging than constructive. Maybe we're trapped in depression, and what we feel like doing is staying in bed, not going anywhere, and not being around people. The last thing we feel like doing is being active, getting out of the house, and being social. And yet, inactivity and isolation are two of the top contributors to the depression we say we want to break out of. In those I-don't-feel-like-it moments, we have a choice to make. Do we make the easy choice based on how we feel, or do we make the healthy choice and do what we know is actually best? Notice that "easy" and "healthy" do not go together in that sentence. Often making that healthy choice is difficult...sometimes even intensely difficult. In those moments, we have to decide how badly we want what will best contribute to our well-being in the long term, and choose health over the feelings of the moment. Are you ready? Let's make some tough choices today, and be proud of those healthy victories! See more

It has been a while since I've posted. The end-of-school chaos was in full effect for me as a mom of five teenagers, one of whom graduated from high school this year! There is always a flurry of activity as the school year comes to a close...open houses, final band performances, award ceremonies, kids stressing about finals, end-of-school parties, graduation and congratulatory celebrations...and the list goes on! Can you relate? Maybe you also have a child who graduated or pr...omoted to the next level in school and, along with them, you are now trying to navigate that next new stage in life. Do you roll with change easily, or do you look at it with great fear and trepidation? Do your kids run with excitement toward those next stages, or do they drag their heals, kicking and screaming as you attempt to lovingly, yet firmly push them forward? Either way, it can be difficult for all of us to let go of the past and step in to the great unknown of the future, but always remember that we can cherish what we have gained from the past - lessons learned, strengths developed, treasured relationships built - while at the same time embracing the excitement of what the future holds - new opportunities, more learning experiences, and meeting new people to add to that list of treasured relationships! What are some things you are excited to embrace as you take your next step forward? See more

I was at the grocery store earlier today and, being that I shop for a family of 7, the cashiers and I are all pretty familiar with each other. So as I approached the front of the checkout line I said to the cashier, "Hey, Jake! How's it going?" (name changed for the sake of privacy). Jake's response was a less than enthusiastic, "Livin' the dream." I realized that this is the same response I typically get when I greet this particular employee. Because I tend to chat while m...y groceries are being scanned, I know a little bit of Jake's story. He is a young father with a baby boy at home, and his grocery store job is not the only place where he works his tail off trying to provide for his small son. So while his words said he was living the dream, his face and tone spoke something more like, "Just pushing through another long day struggling to make things work." Maybe next time I see Jake, I'll ask him, "So what IS your dream?" I wonder if he has one, and if he does, I wonder if he believes it might ever be possible to make that dream a reality. What about you? Do you know what your dream is? If not, maybe it's time to do some soul searching and discover one. If you do have a dream, do you actually believe it can become a reality or have you brushed it off as a "pipe dream" that has its place only in your imagination? What small step can you take today that will get you that much closer to reaching that dream that you just might be far more capable of making a reality than you have given yourself credit for? Don't assume that your dream is unattainable. Assume instead that with your passion and determination, your small step will be followed by another, and then another, and you will make it happen!

Does anyone else want to admit to having had a rough week? My hand is definitely up. But I guess we can't truly appreciate the ups if we don't also experience the downs. Hang in there, friends...the weekend is here! Take a deep breath, and do something this weekend that makes you laugh. It might sound cliche, but it really is the best medicine!

Happy Monday morning, everyone! I know...it's very likely that you just read that and thought, "What is wrong with her???" Monday mornings might not be the favorite part of your week, but let's find a way to make it a happy part anyway! Think of something you are grateful for or are looking forward to and let that put a smile on your face. And then maybe go grab yourself an extra cup of coffee. Here's to the start of a great week!

Sometimes life feels like a peaceful, relaxing day on a warm, sunny beach...other times it feels like we just got knocked over by a giant wave we didn't see coming. There's no getting around the fact that we will face challenges. When those difficult times hit, our natural response tends to be to immediately try to figure out how to solve our problem. We want out of the hard time, and we want out now! We spend our physical and emotional energy looking for a solution, asking o...urselves how we can make it better, and trying to make the pain go away. But what if it's not so much about making the struggle stop as it is about what we can learn as we push through it? What if it's less about the destination and more about the journey? Maybe our energy would be better spent trying to figure out what we can learn through the trial, how we can grow because of the challenge, and what might need to change in ourselves that would cause us to be able to look back on that difficult time and be proud of our victory. Are you in the middle of a storm right now? If so, is your focus completely on searching for the blue skies on the other side, or are you allowing yourself to consider what you can learn in the midst of the rain? See more

This morning a friend sent me a text message that said, "Okay, time to look Monday in the face and say, 'We've got this!'" My guess is that she actually felt the exact opposite. Sometimes we look at what's in front of us and it seems uncertain, scary, or even overwhelming. But instead of shrinking back, that's exactly when we need to say, "We've got this!" Notice I didn't say, "I've got this." We are not meant to go through this life alone! So here are two challenges for you ...today: First, figure out who the "we" is in your life. Are you looking to God and His strength? Are you leaning on the people around you, sharing your life with them and letting them share theirs with you? Secondly, are you shrinking back from what you're facing today, or are you ready to look it in the face and say, "We've got this!"? Let's embrace this day together, and be excited for the victories ahead! See more