James Guay, West Hollywood Psychotherapy

Experiencing moments of gratitude creates space for hope. This isn’t about forced toxic positivity. It’s about creating the conditions with which to feel appreciation for anything in the present moment.... It can be as basic as appreciating our body’s ability to breath, move and heal. What are YOU grateful for? Image Transliteration: Slide 1: Gratitude is your grace Slide 2: Practice gratitude rituals Pausing in gratitude before tasks, like eating, doesn’t have to be religious. It’s a simple habit that slows us down to deepen our appreciation for what exists. Slide 3: Express gratitude actively Expressing heartfelt appreciation for others with our words & actions is nourishment for our souls and our relationships. Slide 4: Create acts of kindness Gratitude inspires us to return a favor. When we practice gratitude, we’re more likely to see situations where we can pay it forward.

Witnessing the insurrectionary riot on the US Capitol is traumatic. Vicarious trauma is when our nervous system responds to seeing or hearing about a traumatic event as if it’s happening to us directly. There have been many of these moments in 2020 with the murders of black people, including transgender women, fires, earthquakes, and the life-threatening dangers of this pandemic.... Based on our evolutionary history, our body automatically takes over when there’s perceived danger to protect us from harm. Sometimes it goes into fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode even when danger isn’t present but we’re triggered by something that’s happening to us or events we imagine. Knowing these signs can help us understand our responses and begin ways to self-regulate. Grounding techniques include ways to bring us back into the present moment, when it’s safe enough to do so, so that we can calm our nervous system when it no longer needs to be activated. Image Transliteration: 4 Responses to Trauma are Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn Fight or Flight Our natural & physiological reaction to perceived danger can be to fight (with words or actions) or flee the situation to remove ourselves from harm. Freeze If we don’t believe fighting or fleeing a dangerous situation will work to keep us safe, we can freeze, isolate, or otherwise shut down to protect ourselves from harm. Fawn Another reaction to perceived danger, can be to appease others by accommodating their needs, avoiding conflict, and overly caring for others at the expense of meeting our own needs. Grounding Techniques After danger is no longer present, if it ever was, we can use grounding techniques to bring us back to the present moment, like coming back to our breath and bringing awareness to our 5 senses.

Watching the insurrection of the US Capitol two days ago was deeply disturbing to many of us. How do we cope with events like this? What if our family members vehemently disagree and try to gaslight us? Listen to my discussion with AJ Gibson & Mikalah Gordon on The Morning Beat with Channel Q Radio this morning.

We don’t have to earn a seat at the table. We already have worth & value. When we own this intrinsic truth, we treat ourselves and each other with greater kindness. ... My behaviors impact your health & well-being and visa versa. Let’s do better protecting each other during these times. Video Credit: @outsideboxx (Location: @castello_di_vicarello, Tuscany)

When we’re feeling angsty, we’re more likely to project our discomfort onto others. One of the occupational hazards about being a therapist with a life-long commitment to my own internal work, is that I can often see myself doing these things...in the moment. My observing ego when I actually do see it as it’s happening gives me space to make other choices. ... I can recognize that I’m feeling cooped up after 9 months of staying at home. I can recognize my own limitations, in being less patient and less understanding with loved ones for their imperfections. I can slow down, take a beat, and BREATHE. Seemingly so simple but extra challenging when we’re revved up or feeling especially depleted. The choice comes with the in-between moments where we can stop, make a quick repair, and take responsibility when it’s our own unmetabolized projections getting out of hand. Wishing you all compassion in this worthwhile process. 3D Image: @chadknight Motion: @mattattack426

Having difficulty setting boundaries this pandemic holiday season? You're not alone! Check out my full blog on 2020 Pandemic Holiday Season Tips: https://www.livingmorefully.com//2020-pandemic-holiday-sea... Setting Boundaries Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWEKde5NQaI&t=1s

Enjoyed being on the @notbasicblonde_ podcast with an in depth discussion on these topics: Tips on overcoming an imposter syndrome How our mistakes help us grow The person who triggers us is our teacher ... Types of people we need in life to help us thrive If people only give you love they can give themselves Tragic optimism How to set boundaries How to overcome fear of failure How to find new friends https://podcasts.apple.com//notbasicblonde-p/id1481923892

Here's my discussion this morning on how to navigate conversations with friends/family who are skeptical of vaccines.

It’s not until we radically accept ourselves, as we are today, that we can change. When we pursue change because we don’t like ourselves then we too easily fall prey to the hungry ghost syndrome, where nothing we achieve is satisfying. If we try to reach our goals from a place of self-rejection it’s exponentially harder, if at all possible. ... Instead, we need to develop core strength & compassion for where we are today. This allows us to gain clarity and be more strategic with our efforts. It also enhances our ability to enjoy the life-long journey versus some perceived end goal. Be kind. Be compassionate. Video Credit: @wilderness_addict (Banff & Lake Louise, Canadian Rockies)

Even seeing nature videos like this can be good for our mental health & well-being. The therapeutic benefits of being in nature, imagining natural environments or just looking up at the sky in an urban environment are plentiful. Research shows that it decreases depression, stress and negative feelings.... During this pandemic, going outside (with masks & physical distancing) breathes cool relief to what ails us. When we mindfully see, hear, smell and touch while in nature we come back to the present moment in a kinder way. Video Credit: @lucarennerphotography (Geisler Alm, Italy)

Human ingenuity is ripe with so many creative possibilities. During times when we’re seeing the worst in humanity, we especially need reminders of hope and inspiration. We are also capable of so much when we bring compassion to ourselves and others. ... What brings a spark of aliveness and awe for you? What helps you bring out your most creative self? What currently exists in your environment that you’re grateful for? Video Credit: @sky_high_architecture (Location: Singapore’s Gardens by the Bay)

Taking mindful action helps soothe feelings of powerlessness. In a world that is often outside our power & control, taking action reminds us that we can create some of what we want for our lives. Having clarity about our core values and priorities is the first step in strategizing what action is needed.... We can respond to political upheaval by voting. We can stand up for racial justice by writing our legislatures. We can wear masks to care for ourselves & others. We can take care of ourselves to avoid burnout. What mindful actions are you needing in this moment & time?

Throughly enjoying my new self-care activity.

I learned about the tool of mindfulness in my mid-20’s and it transformed my life. Up until that point, I‘d been taught to ignore/deny thoughts and feelings I didn’t like. This only served to make them louder and last longer than they otherwise would have.... Instead, I learned how to be present with whatever naturally exists even uncomfortable and painful feelings from a place of curiosity and care, instead of judgement. Mindfulness Meditation Benefits: Deepens connection with ourselves Improves immune system Reduces stress & anxiety Attends to emotional distress Recenters & grounds us Video credit to my favorite nature app: Nature Relaxation

Looking forward to presenting this Friday at noon on "Transforming Perfectionism into Self-Compassion." This webinar is open to all but you need to register.

Doomscrolling: continually scrolling through bad news despite feeling worse Why do we do it AND how can we stop it? Here are some suggestions about controlling our tech use:... Be mindful of how it's affecting you Be intentional about your purpose Set time limits Schedule the right time of day for you Choose news sources carefully Reduce your ease of access Take breaks Turn notifications off Connect with friends/family IRL (safely)

Happy National Coming Out Day! This is a day to recognize the journey toward greater authenticity for us LGBTQIA people. 30 years ago I finally chose to accept myself as gay after years of self-rejection.... This wasn’t an overnight process. It took several more years to unearth my internalized homophobia and heal those deep societal and religious wounds. Moving from self-hatred to self-love was quite the journey but the most worthwhile adventure of my life. We ARE #BornPerfect.

How can we grow after traumatic events? Post-Traumatic GROWTH includes: Increased gratitude for what DOES exist More meaningful relationships ... Changing priorities See more

There is no one "right way" to grieve. Grief is the healing process that brings us some comfort in our pain. Listen to our discussion about this yesterday.

Having way too much FUN with video editing lately! Myths about Psychotherapy: It’s only for crazy people You only talk about your problems... The therapist only listens & asks about your feelings Truth about Psychotherapy: Therapy is for anyone who wants to learn, heal & grow Therapy can be about personal growth & being proactive Therapists can be very conversational & interactive Therapy can be FUN too!

Quick relationship repairs are extra useful during these times.

What are you doing to mix things up? For me, I’m feeling greater freedom with a new bicycle.

Should we "bury the hatchet" in relationships, and if so how? Whatever we do, let's not over-empathize with others at our own expense. Listen to my convo on Channel Q Radio this past week.