Bickford & Covington: a spectrum of psychological services

What do thriving relationships have in common? Building a life together is about teamwork and positive intention. It involves moving through life as a unit and reflecting on important lessons from your relationship while planning the path for your future. It’s about growing together. Here are four things all successful relationships have in common:... 4 Things All Successful Relationship Have in Common 1. Fondness and Admiration: Fondness and admiration grow when couples intentionally put a positive spin on their relationship, on their history together, and on each other’s character. When they talk about each other and their relationship, they choose words that express warmth, affection, and respect. 2. We-ness vs. Me-ness: Happy couples tell their stories with a sense of we-ness or of solidarity and togetherness. Often their words show shared beliefs, values, and goals. 3. Expansiveness vs. Withdrawal: All couples have a story to tell. How couples share what Dr. John Gottman calls the Story of Us can determine the health of the relationship. When the Story of Us is positive and full of detail (expansive) versus lacking detail or negative (withdrawal), a couple has a strong buffer against conflict and they tend to focus on their partner’s positive qualities. 4. Embrace Your Journey Together: As Dr. John Gottman says, couples who "glorify the struggle" express great pride in their ability to overcome difficult times together. They talk about how the hard seasons strengthened their bond and how they use conflict as a catalyst to grow closer together. These couples share profound meaning together and a life of purpose. Reflect on these four things in your relationship. Is there room for opportunity? How can you strengthen each of these aspects? ~The Gottman Institute~

what LOVE does...

NOVEMBER REGISTRATION IS OPEN! CONSCIOUSNESS CIRCLE... IT'S a POWERFUL LEARNING. https://conta.cc/3pgn68P

It’s always fun to see the extra beings that hang it in our office hallways.

Super fun with temperament! FIRST ENTP!

SPRING into APRIL !! The BOOK series continues! IT's VIRTUAL! LIVING-CONSCIOUSNESS CIRC...

Take care my lovely people....

Write It Down Whether you’re in the heat of conflict or a tense, but civil State of the Union discussion, tough topics make listening with your defenses down quite difficult. If you find certain topics always put you on the defensive, here’s a trick straight from Dr. John Gottman. In What Makes Love Last? he notes, When I feel defensive, I try to write down everything my wife says. I remind myself that I care about her and she’s in a lot of discomfort, unhappiness, or pain.... I am feeling defensive, but I will get my turn to talk. This simple act helps you listen to your partner and perhaps understand their perspective better. It also gives you time to gather your thoughts. This significantly slows down the chance of escalating the situation with a sharp, biting comeback. Want to give it a try? The next time you’re headed toward conflict with your partner, pause, breathe, and write down what they’re saying. You might see the conversation in a whole new way. -the GOTTMAN Institute-

... we wound in relationship... thus we can only heal in relationship.

Do You Keep Track of Your Partner’s Flaws? Forgot to take the trash again, I see. They never ask how my day was.... This is the third time they overdrew our bank account this year. If you often mutter these phrases (or something similar) to yourself about your partner, you may think you’re avoiding conflict by keeping it to yourself. On the contrary, you unconsciously keep a running log of your partner’s mistakes and flaws, which can lead to a critical mindset. From there, it’s easy to slip into criticisms, such as, You’re so inconsiderate or How can you be so irresponsible. You’re like a child. Comments like these are hurtful and put your partner on the defensive. Instead of building a silent case against your partner, communicate with them about what you want them to do. Change the negative critical thought into a positive need. So, You forget to take out the trash all the time turns into I could really use your help taking the trash out. Your need goes from negative to positive, and you will likely get a much better response. -the Gottman Institute-