Ari-Asha Castalia MFT

https://www.nytimes.com//rohingya-survivors-art-bangladesh

https://mick-cooper.squarespace.com//what-do-clients-want- Thought-provoking article about sitting back or sitting forward as a therapist.

https://www.nytimes.com//sway-kara-swisher-oren-frank.html I've heard so many negative things about these therapy apps from therapists. One therapist compared it to Tinder and described being rejected based on their appearance and age. I'd be curious if folks have heard positives. (Keep in mind, if you comment, that this is a publicly accessible page.)

Tips to shift depressed feelings: Shower. Not a bath, a shower. Use water as hot or cold as you like. You don’t even need to wash. Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. Sit on the floor if you gotta. Moisturize everything. Use whatever lotion you like. Unscented? Dollar store lotion? Fancy 48 hour lotion that makes you smell like a field of wildflowers? Use whatever you want, and use it all over your entire dermis. Put on clean, comfortable clothe...s. Put on your favorite underwear. Cute black lacy panties? Those ridiculous boxers you bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? Put them on. Or go commando if it feels right. Drink cold water. Use ice. If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost. Clean something. Doesn’t have to be anything big. Organize one drawer of a desk. Wash five dirty dishes. Do a load of laundry. Scrub the bathroom sink. Blast music. Listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both. Make food. Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. Take the time and make food. Even if it’s ramen. Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies. Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. Make something. Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it. Create. Go outside. Take a walk. Sit in the grass. Look at the clouds. Smell flowers. Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin. Call someone. Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. Talk to a stranger on the street. Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. Even if you don’t say much, listen to them. It helps. Cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. Take pictures of them. Talk to them. Tell them how you feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out, anything. See more

Via a newsletter from 5lovelanguages.com Ideally, love should flow from parent to child. When this consistently takes place and children feel generally loved, it is easy for them to honor their parents. However, kids who feel unloved, abandoned, or abused may struggle to honor their parents. Understandably. Honoring your parents DOES NOT:... mean painting over the past, pretending it didn't happen; mean placing yourself in a position for more abuse (it's important to make and keep wise boundaries); instantly heal a strained relationship; suggest taking responsibility for your parents or even for the parent-child relationship. But honor DOES enhance a good relationship and breathe some life back into a dying one. When you choose to honor your parents, you pick out something specific and genuine that they did well for you, and you publicly thank and acknowledge them for that. You may feel deeply hurt by your parents. You may feel abandoned, disappointed, frustrated, and even depressed, but you can still express love to them. Love is an attitude that takes action. It's a little trickier to honor a parent who's missing or dead. Okay, a lot trickier. But it can still be done. If you have a parent who has died or who has been absent from your life, write a noteone to three sentences, or however much you can genuinely saythanking your mom or dad for something specific. Even though your parent will never read your note, the process of writing it can serve as a helpful healing exercise for you. "Dad, I remember the time when you _________. That meant so much to me." "Mom, I wish I'd gotten more time with you. I miss you." Honoring others is more than a simple expression of love and appreciation. In many ways, it can be medicine for your relationships and healing for your soul.

(Black text on a white background reads, "maturity in a relationship is when you catch your mind as it is creating a false story about your partner, which is based on inner tension that is unrelated to them. Self-awareness helps decrease unnecessary conflict." yung pueblo)

Sometimes I wake up and have to remind myself, "There is nothing wrong with me. I have patterns to unlearn, new behaviors to embody, wounds to heal. But there is nothing wrong with the core of me and who I am. I am unlearning generations of harm and remembering love. It takes time." -Yolo Akili

We need more that just WEIRD representation in research studies. [White, educated, industrialized, rich, democratic] https://www.salon.com//psychology-still-skews-western-an/

https://www.nytimes.com//covid-mental-health-languishing.h This is spot on.

https://gatherfor.medium.com/maslow-got-it-wrong-ae45d6217a Fascinating article about the Blackfeet, Maslow and the hierarchy of needs.

https://www.nytimes.com//w/mind/covid-back-to-normal.html

Offering a workshop for Northern California Art Therapy colleagues this Sunday and getting excited!

Colored pencils!

https://www.brainpickings.org//07/29/kerkhof-worry-techni/ Some of the techniques in this article remind me of Focusing practices.

https://news.stanford.edu//four-causes-zoom-fatigue-solut/

https://content.werally.com/article/9642

https://nextcity.org//for-people-homelessness-art-catalyze

Give this a sign if you are so inclined.

"REMEMBER THAT WORDS HAVE POWER Sometimes the difference between a simple discussion and a scorched earth argument comes down to the language we use when we fight. Phrases like You always, You never and Why do you? have no place in happy marriages, experts say. Threatening to leave, flirting out loud with the idea of divorce, sarcasm, contempt, eye-rolling, the silent treatmentall are known indicators of deteriorating relationships. On the other hand, affirming that ...you are in it together and for the long haul, and peppering your arguments with simple sayings like We’ll get through this can work wonders. To stop a fight from going off the rails, writes one marriage counselor: 'Kindness helps. It can pave the way to repair and remind you that your relationship is bigger than your argument. Humor helps. It can break the tension of the moment and provide the opportunity to connect anew.' Marriage guru Dr. John Gottman’s quick tips to de-escalate a fight? Make a joke (without sarcasm). Give a compliment or show affection. Take responsibility. Demonstrate understanding. As one marriage counselor famously said: 'Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.'" From: https://www.purewow.com//how-to-approach-conflict-in-your-

https://www.purewow.com/wellness/how-to-let-go-of-someone

https://www.theverge.com//black-lives-matter-murals-round- Black Lives Matter

The following is adapted from Renee Jain, MAPP, and Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D.'s new book Superpowered, which helps kids with stress, anxiety, and other happenings in their daily lives. The book is written for young adults but contains plenty of information useful for all ages. Here, they discuss how to help your kid get over the "What-if" cycle. Humans are typically considered the only species on Earth that can think ahead and make complex plans for the future. Thinking about th...Continue reading

Some ways to get all Frozen and let things go! https://www.purewow.com//letting-go-of-resentment-exercise Letting Go of Resentment Exercises So You Can Stop Holding That Grudge & Move on with Your Life By Sarah Ashley | Aug. 14, 2020 Self-Care Your Best Life...Continue reading

"Psychotherapy Networker: After all these years of being a therapist, what’s a bit of advice you might offer our field about how we as a profession might enrich the practice of therapy? YALOM: Well, I’m afraid that I’m going to have to defer to Carl Rogers on that. As he always said, the important thing about psychotherapy is the relationship and the empathy, the genuineness, and the unconditional positive regard that the therapist brings to it. These days people talk a lot a...bout empirically validated therapy, but there’s nothing that’s more empirically validated than Rogers’s assumptions about the therapeutic relationship." Ahh, yes, Rogers. Thank you, Carl Rogers. https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org//irvin-yalom-on-the

"Aliveness comes from the new learning that continually occurs in loving relationships when each partner is open to learning to take responsibility for healing the fears and false beliefs that lead to controlling behavior. Couples stay madly in love when they continually learn about loving themselves and each other, and unpacking those false beliefs is the first step." Margaret Paul, Ph.D. I might have titled this a bit differently/more positively, yet it's a good read on how...Continue reading

https://www.self.com/story/moments-of-joy-in-pandemic It's a both-and world. Internal Family Systems applied to Covid Times.... TLDR: "Feelings are nonnegotiable. They aren’t right or wrong or good or bad. They just are. Behaviors can be constructive or destructive, but feelings aren’t a matter of choice. Whatever you feel at this bizarre time on our planet is fine." Ryan Howes, Ph.D.

https://www.huffpost.com//therapy-issues-coronavirus_l_5ea

https://www.purewow.com/family/how-to-calm-an-anxious-child Can't see why these wouldn't work for grown ups too....

https://www.purewow.com//characteristics-of-resilient-kids So often this is what adults work on shoring up in therapy: Self compassion, learning strength from struggle, problem-solving skills, working to avoid comparisons to others and developing emotional vocabulary.

https://www.huffpost.com//relationship-advice-couples-quar Selfcare, no scorekeeping, lots of gratitude.

https://www.huffpost.com//how-to-tell-need-online-therapy_