Aqua Hedionda South Shore

Here at Caruso ASSiliated we are proud to announce that we are conceited. We’re pleased with our $10,000,000.00 mall erection campaign despite a majority of locals who actually read the plan and realized that our mega mall erection would screw their town. We concede the election to the Carlsbad locals at only a $600,000.00+ cost to the tax payer. To Mayor Mall and the rest of the city council offiSHILLS, we hope our mall erection hasn’t put too much of a dent in your politica...l careers. We’re sorry to our Yes on A Mega Mall lovers. Many of you are experiencing mall erection withdrawal. The symptoms are leaving baiting comments on social media that are addressed to the victorious opposition. Bitter remarks such as, I’d like to see your plan for the property. Or the fear based lie that we perpetuated throughout the campaign, Well now we get a Wal Mart, hope the opposition is happy! Caruso ASSiliated wants to help you. We’re forming a Mall Lovers Anonymous group at no cost to the tax payer for those of you suffering from Post Special Election Stress Disorder. Groups will be meeting nightly in our Community Misinformation Center pitched tent. Come join your neighbors where together you can allude to the majority opposition as ignorant, uninformed, and fools for believing the facts listed in the 9212 report posted on the City’s website (but not found in our tent). Our meetings are a safe place where grown Carlsbadian mall loving men can share how their dreams have been shattered. You guys can discuss the inconvenience of only having 3 shopping malls to purchase Affliction shirts at instead of 4 in your town, let the tears roll down your face. Strong Carlsbadian women can support each other in their shared struggle of continuing to survive in a town with no Nordstrom. Real talk of your home’s property value and the unfairness of not being able to squeeze more money out of Zonies for your vacation rental because you were expecting our mall erection to drive your rate up will take place. Sessions will be lead by Yes on A mall erection gurus like Abum and Wrong Shilliam, occasionally big boss Ricky will be skyping in from the U.S.S. Infectus. For all of you Yes on A Mall Erectioneers, there’s help out there for you, it gets better. We’ve purchased several sets of the 90s hit board game Mall Madness to help you wean off the watercolor renderings so that every time you’re sitting in traffic next to a mall erection you won’t say, Check out that beautiful open space! See more

Scene Report: For over 24 hours now Caruso ASSiliated has had everyone who really matters in Carlsbad holed up in the conference hall at the Sheraton. Our hardcore Yes on A Community Gathering Center Open Air Promenade Lagoon High End Regional Shopping Mega Mall Erection supporters refuse to leave. Over the past six months their minds have been deeply warped by the incessant barrage of our watercolor renderings that the possibility of the classless opposition defeating measur...e A is causing mass hysteria. Many cannot fathom a Carlsbad, or their lives, without a Nordy’s anchored Caruso ASSiliated’s lagoon mega mall erection. We’re running out of Kool-Aid and gift cards to mitigate the madness. KUSI reporter Dan Plant braves the frenzied classy yessers that really matter in Carlsbad and is nearly devoured, someone please give this man a Pulitzer. See more

Carlsbadians get to vote today! When you vote Yes on A lagoon mega mall erection remember that you’re not just voting for a fourth shopping mall in Carlsbad but you’re voting for a lifestyle. You’re voting for superficiality. You’re voting for the right for grown men to have a unique shopping experience where they can pay-to-park their 2007 5 series’ in our 3,500 spot parking garage when they want to pick up a new pair of True Religion’s. When you vote Yes on A you’re voting ...for the unique outdoor experience where women will be empowered through hiking in heels (all snapped ankles will be airlifted out because no emergency response will be able to access via road due to traffic congestion). You’re voting for a lagoon outdoor entertainment center where the shrill voices of z-list pop-stars will echo from our across the calm waters. You’re voting for farm-to-table cheesecake under the romantic buzz of high tension powerlines. You’re Yes on A mall erection vote is charitable, it will help a billionaire add to his billions. A yes vote will tell Big Boss Ricky that his spray tan is paying off. So when a Caruso ASSiliated paid troll pounds on your door tomorrow and manipulates you to the polls by making you think you’re a strawberry hero remember not to do you Carlsbad, do Carusobad! Open Space the Caruso way and ride out this mega mall erection to completion. Paid for with major funding by Caruso ASSiliated. See more

Gridlock on the 5, we can’t wait. Nobody’s going anywhere. No matter how many lanes CalTrans adds to the freeway by whatever year we’ll still clog them all! We love the traffic our mall erection will generate! We will mitigate our sales (not so much the traffic) by providing a very special service. When you poor Carlsbadians are sitting idle in your cars on the gridlocked section of the 5 between Tamarack and Cannon and are wondering to yourself, Why did I vote Yes on A for ...this stupid lagoon shopping mall erection? Your regrets will dissipate when you see what Caruso ASSiliated is offering. Nordstrom employees will be walking in between the gridlocked lanes of the 5 between Tamarack and Cannon with large racks of premium high-end fashion merchandise for a unique in-car shopping experience. It’s going to be just like driving across the US/Mexico boarder in Tijuana where vendors pound on your window for hours and harass you to buy something you don’t need. Instead of piñatas, puppies, and ponchos our venders will have Fendi, Chanel, and Prada. We’ll even have a mobile dressing room that can be wheeled right to your car. It’s going to be The Freeway Market at the 85/15 Lagoon Mega Mall Erection. The Cheesecake Factory will also have servers walking the lanes for an awesome farm-2-CAR dining experience. Go ahead and eat dinner with the kids honey, I’m stuck in mega mall traffic again so I’m just going to order some Bang Bang Chicken and eat it alone in the car. You want some cheesecake baby? Nevermind its gotta be refrigerated and will probably go bad by the time I get home, love you! Yes on A Carlsbad Open Air Promenade Pay-2-Park Your Car Community Gathering Center Lagoon Mega Shopping Mall! See more

Check out this beautiful fountain at Caruso ASSiliated's other mega mall "The Grove" in LA. We're excited to announce that we will be constructing a similar one at our outdoor promenade community gathering center lagoon shopping megamall if measure A passes. Our mall will offer no actual access to the lagoon's south shore, too much of a liability, and with the termination of water rights and leases, all lagoon access may be restricted to make way for Carusea World and Caruso ...Marina, future home to big boss Ricky’s yacht the Infectus. We can't have the only people who matter in Carlsbad drowning in the lagoon because they’re weighed down by Nordy’s bags and have pounds of farm to table cheesecake from the factory sitting like bricks in their tummies; lawsuit city. Instead our 12 inch deep lagoon megamall erection fountain will offer a unique and unauthentic outdoor Carlsbad lifestyle experience. For a large fee you can rent a Stand Up Paddle board (SUP), life jacket and helmet. Animatronic stingrays and fish will be swimming around the fountain as you paddle in a circle enjoying breathtaking views of the lagoon and our mall erection. We’ll have giant fans simulating the winds, all lagoon megamall fountain SUP shoppers will rise (and fall) with the fountain’s fake tides. Dodge tourist’s coins and the high pressure streams from our fountain’s features and water shows! We're going to have Jimmy dump just enough pesticide into the fountain so the pH level will match the lagoon water. Open Space the Right Way! Yes on A Carlsbad lagoon megamall erection! See more

Calling all Trolls! Caruso ASSiliated is looking for driven and ambitious people who happen to have nothing going on all day Tuesday, 2/23/16; Mega Mall Special Election Day. If you’re willing to pry yourself away from the daytime TV and record Maury Povich so you can find out who the baby’s daddy is after a hard day’s work (we understand the anticipation will be unbearable, Ricky loves Maury) for a whopping $22.00/hour (and your soul) then consider yourself eligible for hire.... We’re really looking for the lowest rungs of society, we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel, if you’ve never really mattered before you can really matter now by pushing our community gathering center open air promenade tourist trap lagoon shopping mega mall on Carlsbadians in a last ditch effort, our final blitz. Help us billionaires make more billions. We need you to scare Carlsbadians into voting Yes on A physically by your appearance and psychologically with lies such as, If you don’t get your ass to the polls right now a Wal Mart will be built on your lagoon and Something will be built there eventually better settle for this shopping mall by voting yes right now! Feel free to even roll with the classic, Save the strawberry fields. Hell, say whatever you want to the Carlsbadian voters, we here at Caruso ASSiliated have been doing it for years, we're experts and will train you accordingly. Dippin Dots gift cards will be given as a bonus for every manipulated and harassed senior citizen who you get to the polls. Paid for with major funding by Caruso ASSiliated. Yes on A Carlsbad Lagoon Mega Mall Erection. See more

"Everybody who really matters in Carlsbad opposes measure A." - Is what Big Boss Ricky meant to say on KUSI. That's why we've squandered $8,000,000.00 on propaganda and paid trolls trying to convince them to support our outdoor promenade community gathering center lagoon shopping mega mall. Paid for with major funding by Caruso ASSiliated.

Attention Yes on A lagoon megamall erection loving supporters! Our latest market research and well-paid campaign consultants have intelligently concurred that we should take all of our graphic designed professionally printed yard signs that were paid for by Caruso ASSiliated and swap them out for hand-made ones. Extensive research results show that by switching to hand-made signs we can appear more rootsy and passionate citizens who care deeply about the real issues of ...Carlsbad like the importance of having a megamall erection on your lagoon. Of course we are not asking you to get your hands dirty by making your own, we’ve got Jimmy’s migrant workers doing double overtime in our pitched-tent community misinformation center churning these babies out. So come pick some up, we want 4 hand made signs in each yard: one for every mall that will be in Carlsbad if measure A passes. So throw your current Yes on A signs in the trash (along with the $8,000,000.00 worth of glossy propaganda mailers that are now stuffing landfills) and put up a hand made one immediately, your megamall erection is at stake! See more

#TBT Yes on A means LA smog for Carlsbad, and toxic clouds for our little ones. Be sure to buy your gas mask from a local business! Paid for with major funding from Caruso ASSiliated.

Carlsbad needs another mall erection just like Caruso needs another billion dollars.

Lots of Yes on A Carlsbadians are super excited for the TROLLey we’ve verbally promised to connect our lagoon mega mall to your village. Our mall will have over 2,000 employees who will not be permitted to park in our 4 story 3,500 parking spot parking garage (unless they’re willing to pay of course). We can’t have The help taking the parking spots of actual mall loving money-spending costumers, that would just be bad business and billionaires don’t do bad business. We’re... going to have our mall employees park in the village for free where their cars will sit idle all day and night filling the parking spots that would be used by patrons of the small village businesses, then we’re going to shuttle the employees in on our TROLLey. But Caruso ASSiliated, won’t the employees be late for work with all the traffic your mall erection will cause ultimately delaying the TROLLey shuttle, I don’t want to have to wait any longer than I need to buy Ferragamos? concerned mall lovers ask. Our answer is not at all Caruso ASSiliated will be purchasing a fleet of amphibious Seal Buses. We’re going to drive straight into the sea at Off Shores, float down the coast and into the lagoon via the Tamarack jetty’s. Be sure to wave at us as you sit gridlock on the bridges over the lagoon on the 5 freeway as we boat on by underneath you. Watch as we drive right up onto the South shore totally beating our own mall erection's traffic jam! We’re going to be blasting the latest top 40 pop songs from our seal bus at full volume, YOLO on the Seal Bus! Those employees taking all those village parking spots will hurt small business, Our stupid No on A opposition claims. Uhhh not really all Seal Bus TROLLeys rise with the tide. Paid for with major funding from Caruso ASSiliated, all expenses of the Seal Bus Mall TROLLey are expected to be subsidized by the City of Carlsbad INC. See more

COMMUNITY ALERT! Big Boss Ricky and Mayor Mall are rocking the vote on a city wide tour of town meetings. Mayor Mall wants our mall erection so bad that he is kindly putting off his mayoral duties and obligations to Carlsbad citizens to accompany Big Boss Ricky in a campaign for Measure A, a citizen-lead initiative. In classic politician fashion, he’s put off his duty to serve Carlsbadians and has volunteered (at a cost to the tax payer) his time in hopes of helping a bil...lionaire make more billions, a righteous cause. They’re out making promises to Carlsbad citizens and business owners for votes, of course nothing is in writing though. Caruso ASSiliated is paying mall supporters to show up at these meetings with gift cards from our favorite chain stores while claiming we’re for small business. Watch the dynamic duo Big Boss Ricky and his sidekick Mayor Mall dodge and spin questions about our mall erection. Our #1 mall loving hype man Wrong William couldn’t have said it better, He TRIES to answer questions honestly but the truth just doesn’t seem to come out no matter how hard either of them try, if at all. Also, don’t count on any actual architectural plans or models of the shopping mall to be present at these meetings, just the pretty watercolors we’ve been stuffing your mailbox with. Just blindly vote Yes on A, you don’t need to see what you’re voting for (repeat 200 times). See more

Big shout out to our Yes on A mall erection supporter village business Pave-Over-Paradise Pizza (formerly known as Paradise Pizza). They’re going to be slang’n so many pies post Yes ON A mall erection because Carlsbadians won’t be able to eat out anywhere due to traffic gridlock and tourist infestation. Ordering a pizza for delivery will be the only option for those who do not want to cook, because nobody's going anywhere. If the delivery takes over 2 and a half hours (that i...s the estimated delivery time post Yes on A mall erection due to traffic), then the pizza will be free courtesy of Caruso ASSiliated! Pave-Over-Paradise Pizza has been keeping our call center and Community Misinformation Center well fed, luckily our trolls both paid and volunteer have been able to enjoy their pizza hot, a luxury Carlsbadians will not have if measure A passes, at a 2 and half hour delivery time your pizza is guaranteed to be old and cold! Thanks Pave-Over-Paradise Pizza! We can’t wait to not keep all the promises we made you in exchange for your support once our mall is fully erected. Paid for with major funding by Caruso ASSiliated! See more